-POS-
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
-PoS- (-POS-) is an ancient and secretive organization bent on ruling the hit FPS multiplayer online electronic computing internets machine game "Counter-Strike". Their publicized mission statement clearly states that after they've beaten the internets, -PoS- intends to destroy the Earth. Among the current members are 13 year old boys from Canada and lifeless nerds who think Counter-Strike is cool; they also use their 'server' as a secret recruiting tool for their Intergalactic Armed Forces.
Though based primarily on rumors, the -PoS- Server is believed to be based in the Midwest, an area notorious for pedophiles and fags. Research regarding the current rulers of -PoS- has led to the conclusion that they are actually time-traveling aliens who assassinated John F. Kennedy, constructed the Great Wall of China in Arizona and moved it to its present-day location, and also won the International Strongwoman Competition without the use of steroids.
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[edit] List of Alleged Members
Little is known about the reclusive members of -PoS-, however after painstakingly searching through the series of tubes, h4x0rz have now published the aliases of various -PoS- clansmen/women:
- Curry (that's tits)
- Exodia
- Xenophobe
- Itachi*
- x ColdKiller x
- Escort
- Danny
- Grim
- Havoc
- Dmatrix
- Kiba
- Snipe
- Delos
- Remix
- Gammer
- Sysop
- Cujo
- Scruffy
- Buddy Lee
- Anti-Hero
- Fluke
- Booty
- Ech0wave
- Diarrhea Robusto
- CPargemer
- Sman
- Kiler
Famous members of the clan before it was revived by 'Exodia' included:
- Jesus (after being pwned on the cross, he quit the clan)
- Satan (he left because Jesus constantly taunted his noob-ish ways)
- Al Gore (his reason for abandoning the clan is unclear, but some say he had beaten the internets and moved on to another hobby, most likely to pursue his dream of being a furry)
Additionally, according to Neo Muslims and Porn-collectors, the one labeled 'Exodia' is the reincarnation of former-president William J. Clinton, and so is considered the Great Messiah. 'Grim', too, is a special member of the clan, for though he is an alien, sources say he comes from the far-away land of Mexico and Central America.
[edit] Basic Requirements for Entry
What is needed to apply to this sect is currently unknown, though the major characteristic among current and past members is a supreme sense of lulz and, of course, the ability to pilot a roflcopter without hesitation.
Other than that, the leaders are believe to have left cryptic messages in the form of crop circles, leading many to think that they wish for more to join the hordes of players already using their server.
[edit] 'POS': What does it mean?
To this day, no researcher has ever undermined the true meaning behind 'POS'. Popular theories deduce that it is a complex alien code that will be used to start Armageddon, but some label it an acronym, meaning 'Pieces of Shit' or 'Phull of Shrimpers'.
On occasion, the clan can be confused with the famous acronym POS, which generally stands for 'Pull-Out Sex'. Though many members live by this ideal, it should not be considered that this is the true meaning of -PoS-. According to Jamie Lee Curtis, 'POS' also means 'Parent Over Shoulder', and means that your child is being molested.
The first recorded use of these possible meanings was in the following Druid incantation, "Zen444 is a Piece of Shit."
[edit] References in Popular Culture
Just as other powerful and secretive organizations such as the Illuminati and the CEO's of Microsoft, -PoS- is constantly used in popular culture today, although many uses are subliminal and difficult to notice. Examples include:
- The popular TV series Voltron. The storyline was created after several members decided to bond together to form a super-powerful thing to help destroy annoying but skilled noobs, fucktards, and the Pope.
- Chuck Norris. The memes created based on Norris's supposed skillz were actually accounts of regular humans who had the rare chance to see what -PoS- could do.
[edit] See also:
- Counter-Strike: The 'What is Love?' to -PoS-'s 'Night At the Roxbury'.
- AIDS: The main source of -PoS-'s power.
- Good description of every Counter-Strike player who encountered -PoS-, ever.
- The only known plane that -PoS- exists on.
- The deformed, Siamese sister clan of -PoS-, known as '-TSK-'.
- Another band of misfits whom -PoS- and -TSK- often have massive, wet orgies with.
- Shit Video Games
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-POS- is part of a series on Gaming. |
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