13-year-old boy
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Also known as shota, much like 16-year-old girls, 13-year-old boys can be found all over AIM or, in a less popular but more concentrated population, such as Droidz or BYOND. They are easily recognized as they lack an Adam's apple, and their lack of pubic hair, undropped balls, and microscopic penises. They make easy targets for drama baiting as their slavering worship of known fucktards Adam Sandler, Coldplay, Fall Out Boy, Insane Clown Posse, Slipknot, Linkin Park, and Tony Hawk has recently reached a fever pitch. Many times they are found in str8, chat rooms lying about their age (preferring to be 18 year old boys), or in gay chat rooms. In that case, it is most likely they are 60-year-old male camwhores who like to chat with 13-year-old boys. The typical 13-year-old boy also spends most of his free time reading Cyanide & Happiness comics when hunting for more pictures to shove into his forum signature. When not online, 13-year-old boys can be found playing Candyland, Xbox Live, and Yu-Gi-Oh, as well as masturbating furiously to pr0n, or trying to date as many girls as possible while generating lulz.
They also, like 16-year-old girls, are proficient at statistics. For example, 92% of teenagers would cry if they were called a freak and have "moved on" from rock to rap. It is unclear whether this 92% are the same for each question polled. In fact, there is no record of any actual poll having taken place, but a million MySpace users putting this in their info can't be wrong.
While they are not as annoying as 16-year-old girls, they tend to have very bad spelling skills and like to say koo a lot. They also enjoy cussing a lot because it's koo and teh fucking shit beyotch LOLLZ OMFG!111. Beware that many of these 13-year-old boys are really FBI agents trying to entrap innocent members of NAMBLA, who are just upstanding citizens out for a good time, as they say. 13-year-old boys make up about .123456789% of the total teen population. Due to their rarity, a repopulation program is underway and you probably want to breed with them, you sick fuck.
"13 year old boys are total fuck tards who act gay and when I say gay, I mean GAY!!!!!! Like this one boy told this other boy to fuck his ass and then they started dry humping and then all their friends started laughing like they were the kewlest thing since the Nebraska Safe Haven Law. 13 year old boys should die!!!!" is an example of the language used by said tweens.
Contents |
Charming Naïveté
13-year-old boys are easy as hell to manipulate via the internets because of their trust of anyone they believe to be in authority and predominantly remorseful nature once confronted with objections to whatever it is they're doing at the time. There are many ways to go about wrangling a 13-year-old boy, such as offers of candy or threatening to have them banned from their favorite Pokémon forum. Use your newfound control for having them star in your latest YouTube submission or enacting lulz-ridden revenge.
Some 13-year-old boys, however, don't give a dead moose. It is best to quote them on ED for the lulz.
Quotes by 13-year-old boys
| —urbandictionary |
| —A 22-year-old kid? Wrong answer, son. |
| —Typical 13-year-old boy. |
| —13-year-old boy with no life. |
| —Irish Blood in [Snafu Forum] |
I have a Command Prompt and I know how to use it
Due to numerous videos on the JewTube, many 13-year-old boys now have mad hacking skillz, yo! They can do shit-chill things with the Command Prompt such as change passwords EVEN IF THEY DON'T HAVE ADMIN PRIVILEGES!!!11 (lol, just take away background admin), play MUDs, create a fork bomb in Notepad, and this:
Ambitions
- 2 B FIRST RANK ON THER CS SERVER!!!!
- To bang Klara Wagner.
- To bcom GM in
a 20+plyr game!!any game. - To be a ghetto nigga.
- To be a ninja.
- To be a rockstar.
- To have buttsecks with Pete Wentz.
- To be bisexual (girls think bi dudes are HAWTT!)
- To be in the Delta Force, just like in bLaCk HaWk dOwN!!!!!!!
- To beat "Through Fire And Flames" on Expert.
- To cuss a lot (which they all do).
- To fellate Herman Li.
- To get a girlfriend that doesn't live in the same house.
- To get a life.
- To get laid by someone other than your mom lol.
- To get level 126 on Runescape!!!1!1!
- To get their penises past 1 inch.
- To impregnate 16-year-old girls.
- To know something other than jack shit about drugs.
- To launch b0mBs at skool!!
- To master Farmville on Facebook
- To make it to 14 years old.
- To post pictures of their childlike faces on /b/.
- To raise their status in the server from 3 to over 9,000.
- To see Britney Spears live!!
- To sprout ball hair.
- To be a 1337 H4x0r.
- To get the Internets.
- To be Awesome No luck yet, you could be the first!
- To get Portal not illegally.
- To be a Physicist and Psychiatrist that beats head crabs with crowbars
- TO MA3K TEH F1RST COMMENTS!!!!11!!LOLZ
- To see Slipknot.
- To drink more Monster Energy drinks than You.
- To have sex, which will never happen.
The Very Best of 13-year-old boys
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Previous Video | Next Video |
Notable 13-year-old boys
- Angry German Kid
- BodyXPolitic
- Cheddar-Cheesia
- Davedays
- DaxFlame
- DJ Skeptik
- Dog264
- Flameviper
- Flardox
- HTS-Noob
- Jawsus
- Maarten
- Medved Ramuchkin
- Mitchell Henderson
- MySpace Kid
- Seth Dub
- Trey Burba
- You
- Youngconservative
Gallery
 Another 13 year-old boy hobby, "dress up" |
 Every 13-year-old boy's dream. |
 IRL. |
 With hair like that, he's definitely the coolest kid in middle school. |
 They call it "expressive". We call it "gay". |
 Typical 10-year-old trying to be a typical 13-year-old trying to be cool. |
 Typical 13-year-old boy posing with drawn on abs; also plays runescape. |
 The face of a 13-year-old boy. Gives the douche chills that's for sure. |
 Quick, get the condoms. |
 Hey, it's that kid from Two and a Half Men. |
 Epic Fail. That's my sister, she's on the bed. |
|
 Typical 13-year-old boy asking for it. |
 13-year-old hick boys with a 16-year-old girl. |
 Pretty cool guys. |
|
 U r lyke body? |
 Thank you, internets. |
 DAMN YOU MTV!!! |
 Just Search Facebook, Ed Strutt. |
 This shows, but by no means to full extent, how retarded and stereotypical a 13-year-old boy can be NOTE: he plays RuneScape™. |
Fun Facts
- 13-year-old boys don't have to be 13. They can be 10 to 15 to 16. They can even go as far as 18. As they say, the younger the better.
- Don't bother pwning a 13-year-old boy; he will say "Your Mom", resulting in EPIC WIN...
- It is totally legal to rape a 13-year-old boy, as long as you do it with a condom and don't get caught.
- Every single 13 year old boy must beg to get his way.
- Every 13 year old boy kills aliens and doesn't afraid of anything.
- Every 13-year-old boy must bot to win PC games.
- Every 13-year-old boy has to read every single Harry Potter book.
- Every 13 year old boy will annoy the shit out of you no matter how or where.
- To humiliate a 13-year-old boy, just mention to him that the average penis size is 5.75 inches, then mention that at his age you were 10". Watch the tears flow.
- Every 13 year old boy will cry when you say ninjas do not exist.
- Every 13 year old boy will die when you look at them in the eye and say "Nick Jonas".
- Every 13 year old boy will go through a Behemoth-obsessed phase.
See also
- 12 year old girls
- 16-year-old girls
- 30 Seconds To Mars
- Mark Foley - A gay old pedophile who is hungry for 13 year old boys
- Kyle Forrest
- T. Reginald Gibbons wants to protect every 13-year-old boy.
- Michael Jackson
- Pedobear
- Pew-bertee
- Shotacat
- Teenager
- Ultraviolet News Network
- Slipknot
