Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
ADHD is a completely fabricated disorder that was invented as a way to sell drugs to kids by the corrupt pharmaceutical psychiatrical conglomerate complex. ADHD/ADD is the universal excuse for everything; being a shitty parent, getting bad grades, even mooching off the government. For those unfamiliar with ADHD, think back to primary school, middle school, or even high school. Remember that one kid who started off by eating paste and always had the newest gameboy? Who later developed into a magic card obsessed pokémon playing lunatic? Who then rounded off his or her educative career by sitting in the corner, writing erotic fiction about Redwall characters which they would then present to your Writer's Craft class, and generally doing their best to get picked on by absolutely everyone, including the AV kids? That, my friend, was a victim of ADHD.
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[edit] ADHD and passing the buck. Like religion, only easier!
ADHD is employed to pass on responsibility for one's own stupidity to a higher power. While we enlightened scientists are no longer able to do this with the help of our dead friend Jesus, ADHD provides the perfect substitute! Simply blame all of your problems / your child's problems on an entirely fictitious disease. Are you unable to pursue your goals? Don't worry! That's not your fault, its due to ADHD. Therefore the fact that you are sitting here now reading this article instead of writing your term paper or doing something productive with your life is not due to your own inability to spend will power but is instead the fault of an entirely fictitious disease. Still having trouble pulling it off?
Here's an example:
<typicalgirl16> i failed english and i wrecked my daddy's escalade and spent the whole night watching Naruto AMVs instead of studying for tomorrow's final :'( <averagejoe23> lol wow ur pretty fucking dumb <typicalgirl16> uh no i actually have ADHD you insensitive fascist... <averagejoe23> oh...im so sorry...i had no idea...
And voila, one uses ADHD as a way to hide one's lack of intelligence and judgement and everyone falls for it because they are very gullible.
ADHD's antithesis is emotional maturity. While emotional maturity is used as an excuse for someone being a social fuckup because they're a nerd with a superiority complex who cannot retaliate to anything, ADHD is used as an excuse for someone being a social fuckup because they set things on fire, shit on people's clothes and cannot do any activity for two seconds without resorting to violence. Aspergers is the preferred LiveJournal e-disease of choice nowadays, but ADHD comes a close fashionable second. Both "sufferers" love to exclaim how proud they are of the disease, but while Aspies will whine and cry if you troll them, ADHD people will probably bite you and rape your dog. On the flip side, many who have "true" ADHD try hard and are very successful. Often tired of being labeled a dumb shit, they hide it perpetuating the attention whore who has given up on life stereotype. These paradoxical cases are found in slightly over_9000 individuals worldwide.
[edit] ADHD/ADD & Parents
Most parents these days are too concerned with their careers too really give a shit about their children. Instead of taking care of them, they hire nannies. This, combined with a steady diet of pokemon, leads children down the slippery slope to ADHD. Of course, parents could just spank, slap, or even chastise little Timmy when he's being a fucking retard, but they refuse to. This is because the liberal media tells them that spanking is wrong and drug corporations tell them that the reason their kids are so fucked up is not because of bad parenting, but because of, you guessed it, a disorder called ADHD. The parents then spend money on Ritalin and Adderall and feed it to their kids fucking them up even more. Here's an example:
<retardedparent> my son set fire to the couch again...what should i do? <smartparent> Wow you must be one lousy parent. Why don't you try beating your son's ass? *smartparent has been kicked and banned (CHILD ABUSE IS WRONG) <otherretardedparent> this sounds like ADHD to me. he should see a pediatrician <retardedparent> lol ok
[edit] Signs to watch for
Parents, be aware. The ADHD agenda within today's society wants you to think that your child is normal. This could not be further from the truth. ADHD is spread every day through the water, toilet bowls, and from skin contact. Should your child display any of the following: an interest in the world beyond school, an aversion to boredom or an affinity for mudkips, they must be medicated immediately. Sure, you could just discipline them yourself, but this takes time out of your busy day, giving them clinically refined meth is way cooler, and takes half the time. Plus, they'll probably cut soon anyways, so who gives a fuck.
[edit] ADHD/ADD & Livejournal
At least 100% of Livejournal users have a severe case of ADHD, this manifests itself through cutting, attention whoring, internet disease, you name it. Ironically though, when an LJ user claims to be diagnosed with ADD (of which the act itself is a form of ADHD) they most likely do severely suffer from the disease in question, which somehow in a roundabout way grants them the attention they so desperately crave for.
[edit] See also:
Asperger's Syndrome
Hugbox
User:ShndnMthws
WarioWare
Tammyslut
