A Brave New ED World

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

EDITOR'S NOTE: The following account may or may not have happened, however that is not important. What is important is that article exists which proves that it is all true, so none of that would have mattered in the first place. (suckers)

[edit] The Shot Heard 'Round the World

Cocks

Y HELO THAR Chunkmunky 09:46, 28 October 2008 (CDT)

You failed at uploading the picture just so you know, but o hai 2 u 2!:D ^(Stalk) 10:01, 28 October 2008 (CDT)

• He was obviously too excited by my glorious return. - Raspberry Rush _{(speak to me.)} 10:12, 28 October 2008 (CDT)

• Pic looks fine to me. Screw you all. Chunkmunky 14:18, 28 October 2008 (CDT)

• Of course it does, I fixed it. :p - Raspberry Rush _{(speak to me.)} 16:07, 28 October 2008 (CDT)

>_________< Chunkmunky 16:26, 28 October 2008 (CDT)

• HAHA PHAIL - Raspberry Rush _{(speak to me.)} 16:28, 28 October 2008 (CDT)

• NO FUCK U BRO THIS MEANS WAR! Chunkmunky 16:36, 28 October 2008 (CDT)

• ...OH SHI- - Raspberry Rush _{(speak to me.)} 16:41, 28 October 2008 (CDT)

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

Contents 1 The Shot Heard 'Round the World 2 Lines are drawn in the sand 3 Wait what the hell just happened? 4 Electioneering 5 LOL TROLLED 6 OH NOES 7 You gotta nuke something 8 Project for an New ED Century 9 Warmongering for fun and profit 10 WUT 11 See Also

[edit] Lines are drawn in the sand

I am going to have to go with Raspberry on this one. ^(Stalk) 17:54, 28 October 2008 (CDT)

• NO U Chunkmunky 22:01, 28 October 2008 (CDT)

• NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U NO U I WIN COCKSUCKER :D ^(Stalk) 23:08, 28 October 2008 (CDT)

• gah o_0 you win this battle, but i will win the war! Chunkmunky 23:18, 28 October 2008 (CDT)

• CM I WILL BUILD YOU A BOT!! MUST RAPE DESTROY INFIDELS. WM 00:14, 29 October 2008 (CDT)

[edit] Wait what the hell just happened?

Many scholars differ on what specifically sparked the conflict however there were a great number of rifts growing between the two factions far before the first hello.jpg was fired. The ED economy and infrastructure had become almost exclusively based on lulz and cake prices were at all time high per barrel (Killhamster 2008).

Furthermore, around this time Hitler's inability to finish the job started to shake out it's repercussions, as all the left over Jews, Furries, and Weeaboo dumped into the Middle East were really starting to piss the natives off.

You should also keep in mind that given these are just a bunch of EDiots trolling us, there is always the possibility that they simply did it for the lulz. Its obligatory.

[edit] Electioneering

The first order of business was the harvesting of Jew Gold for a power grab, because like Scarface said, "first you get the money, then you get the power and then after that the bitches are free" or something. Seemed kind of unnecessary, considering how CM already had the silver spoon falling out of his mouth, but rules are rules. Once the monies were in place, it was high time to rig some elections and seize control of Dumbfuckistan.

Chunkmunky built a solid platform based on a constitutional amendment to ban gay people, but he also alienated some of his redneck base with his pro-death stance on abortion. Not like any of that shit matters anyway, thanks to Diebold voting machines, purged voting records, and "emergency poll taxes". Plus, with both candidates under party control, there was no way to lose, election or not.

Raspberry had no such luck as there are no gays in Eurabia to oppress, or money for that matter. However his "Death to Israel" campaign slogan, and an inexplicable act of heroism by his closest opponent, proved decisive in his victory.

[edit] LOL TROLLED

Once elected Chunkmunky proceded to break all of his lame ass campaign promises, as is White House tradition, and took a much needed vacation to enjoy the finer things in life for about half a year or so... I... dont remember. Then one day...

[edit] OH NOES

[edit] You gotta nuke something

After WTC, Raspberry released a video claiming responsibility for the attacks, however, everyone called bullshit because they already knew who was really behind 9/11. Still, it was as good an excuse an any to expand his empire so Chunkmunky declared an open ended war on pretty much whatever. The next day, President Chunkmunky chose a country at random to blame and deployed a bunch of soldiers blindly into battle, because, seriously, invading these unpronouncable, dirt-poor countries is easier than your mother.

[edit] Project for an New ED Century

The president also rushed the Loyalty Act and the Domestic Spying Act through a blindsided congress, in order to take blatantly big-brotheresque measures like the power to tap phone calls with your grandmother and place two way cameras digital television converters in every home in the land. Noone really questioned this, as doing such would be an act of treason subject to special circumstances under the law. Plus, in the end, it would spoil all the fun of killing hundreds of thousands of innocent people for lulz.

[edit] Warmongering for fun and profit

1. Jews do WTC; take this country as a consolation prize.
2. Invade under the threat of lulz of mass destruction, depose implanted dictator/operative
3. Eh, why the hell not?
4. ????
5. Profit!

Hai gais. You forgot Poland. --Todd_McCloud^{\Talk plox} 18:54, 9 November 2008 (CST)

• All in due time. Chunkmunky 20:05, 9 November 2008 (CST)

[edit] WUT

TO BE CONTINUED????

[edit] See Also

• The ED Civil War
• LOL WUT
• YHBT