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Abortion
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Abortion refers to the gut-bustingly hilarious procedure in which a soon-to-be ugly baby is instead destroyed before it has a chance to wreak havoc on the world. A sure fire subject to send any politically minded community into a 400 comment flame war. L. Ron Hubbard was obsessed with abortion, performing at least 7 on his wife. With a coat hanger.
There are two schools of thought regarding abortion: pro-life (aka anti-woman by feminists) and pro-choice (aka anti-human). Both of them are characterized by producing extreme portions of drama and nearly no logical points whatsoever. However, everyone knows that neither of these two parties are correct, and that the only sensible stance is for killing babies and not letting women have the right to choose.
There are many pro-life communities on LiveJournal (the biggest one being prolife), just as there are many pro-choice communities. The two hate each other, and if any member of one community crosses paths with a member of the opposing community, you know some flames will go down -- a perfect opportunity for epic lulz.
Abortion is the best way to make sure your kid doesn't grow up to degrade women by looking at pornography.
Romanians get the olympic-gold-fucking medal for abortions: they killz 3 quarters of their unborn kidz. A Romanian diplomat was quoted as saying, "We do it for the LULZ." <1>
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[edit] Abortion Analogy
The best way to look at abortion is in terms of nethack, one female slut decides to read a cursed scroll of teleportation, knowing full well what could happen, and a hobbit is transported into her uterous. She throws a little tantrum and decides the only logical course of action is to go see a doctor who knows how to properly use a wand of death on the hobbit residing inside through no will of his own.
The bitch then gets pissed off when people of lawful alignment start hacking away at her vagina and God gets angry with her and I don't know, sends a unicorn or something to trample her.
[edit] Pro-Life
Someone who is pro-life is someone who is against abortion cause it be murder, most people who call themselves prolife tend to be republican, libertarian, (despite how their glorious Ayn Rand wasn't) or populist.
Besides that, they are made of liquid awesome and know how to give great oral to avoid making babies so nobody has to die. They are all super awesome and you should become one immideatly. Though, be careful of their laser eyes! They can spot an unborn baby for miles, and if that baby is anywhere near an abortion clinic, then... well, ask these guys.
Ironically, people who are pro-life are in favor of the death penalty and killing people in Iraq (and pretty much anywhere else President Bush feels like having people killed; what, do you hate America?).
It's also a known fact the pro-life is full of epic win, and you should be pro-life too or else you are anti-lulz. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK ABORTED BABIES' COCKS
The mortal enemy of any pro-lifer is someone who is pro-choice.
[edit] Pro-Life Quotes
| —Typical prolife response |
| —Another prolife claim to end abortion |
| —Anonymous |
| —Some awesome pro-lifer |
[edit] Pro-Choice
Someone who is pro-choice is generally considered to be the embodiment of all things awesome (strictly due to their love of killing babies, which is AWWWWRIIIGHT.) However, recently the pro-choice movement has been filled with feminists, thus making its ghey levels Over 9000. Though, unlike pro-life, they actually believe the mother is a person.
There are many theories behind the origins of the feminist anti-lulz, but no clear cut answer is available. However, here are the 3 most likely sources:
(Please take to note that these, along with the gays, furries, and Jesus, are among those suspected for the 9/11 attacks.)
Pro-choicers will not rest until every life ruining innocent fetus has been sucked from every un-consenting womb, but are fighting to save the bad guys in the Iraq and take the child-rapists and serial killers off of death row. As Osama Bin Laden is more human than a un-born baby.
NOTE: Pro-choice shall forever remain unlulzy until every feminist on the planet is executed.
[edit] Pro-Choice Quotes
| —Pro-choice n00b |
[edit] Middle Ground
There is no middle ground. You are either a baby-killer or a sexist. Kevin and Kat are, together, the biggest baby-killers evar. A possible third position is to be in favor of abortion as long as the mother is not white.
[edit] Opinion
[edit] Abortion drama
- There is an Abortion category on LJDrama, dedicated to child-free and abortion drama.
- Recently some prick managed to amass 1200+ comments and 89,000+ views in one day, by mistaking The Onion for a purveyor of real news. The article in question, I'm Totally Psyched About This Abortion!, netted a few enthusiastic replies by this gentleman who believed it to be real, and not obvious satire. Notably, he doesn't know what an Ellipsis is, nor what it signifies... it is assumed that he doesn't speak Japanese...
- On Myspace, the biggest prolife group found was found here: Pro-Life. As ironic as the URL sounds, it is a prolife group. It should also be noted that the group site currently has no mod, so it is free for flaming. Also there's a sexy and dashing poster named Jim Profit whom you should devote your life too.
- Amy Richards wrote a big article for the New York Times about how she was infected with triplets and decided to kill only two of them, while letting the third one live. Her husband meekly assented to the murder instead of hitting her with an oiled table leg in a downward motion.
- In April 2007, Yale art student Aliza Shvarts claimed to have artificially inseminated herself at least 100 times, each time filming herself inducing abortions with herbal remedies, and saving the blood to smear on plastic sheets and drape over a giant cube. She did it for the lulz.
[edit] Training Video Demonstrating an Abortion
 Prolifers support ear-neck boy! |
 Monkey-Girl supports pro-lifers! |
 Toadboy wishes he were dead |
 Awww, isn't it just precious? |
 An aborted mexican baby |
 A baby not aborted. Victory for pro-lifers everywhere! |
 Intelligent design in action |
 How cute! |
 Their way of converting people to the prolife way. |
 Pimp your fetus! |
 The Pro-lifer's Final Solution! |
 Good eats! |
[edit] See also
- Aliza Shvarts
- Falcon Punch
- Nathan Sheets, who provided the photo.
- Puckish - bitch who cares more about flaming than abortion
- Kevin and Kat
- Bible Resources Recommend ED's Abortion Stance
- Miscarriage
- Maddox's view on the subject [1]
- 'Amy Richards describes the fantastic halloween haunted house exhibit she has planned for her surviving baby'
- Abortion Is Pro-Life -- The current Pope of Objectivism preaches about the life-affirming Good News of abortion.
- Planned Parenthood Donation Troll
- Donor:...we just think, you know, the less black kids out there the better
- Planned Parenthood: Haha understandable, understandable
