Our pal Rick Astley is up for the MTV Europe award for BEST ACT EVAR! You can help by voting here, digging this and signing this petition.

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ THEY GOT TIRED OF PLAYING SOLO

Did you know that... This individual knows how to use a Wiki as well as the shameless pinhead who created this laughingly inaccurate post about her?

Did you know that... This individual knows how to use English less well than your average retard because she used "laughingly" rather than "laughably"?

Adorkablegrrl, aka Kate Kotler, is an overweight and painfully homely 33 year old journalism student, freelance writer, blogger, vlogger, and writer of "geek erotica." She supplements the zero dollars this lifestyle earns her by working as "a part-time nanny and the moderator of an online forum designed to be a safe ‘Net space for teens." She is also occupied full-time with the misconception that any criticism she receives is due to her being a strong and emancipated woman. This is ironic, considering that criticism centers around her being a whiny and butthurt crybaby.

PROTIP: Referring to something as "erotica" not only means that it is profoundly unerotic, but that the only acceptable response to it is "How totally awesome and empowering! You go, grrrl!" Actually fapping to some decent porno makes you a rapist and a sex criminal.

Her filthy fucking deviant mind conjured up the nasty sexbook “Geek Girls Need Love, Too,” which does NOT suck, is NOT embarrasingly autobiographical, and is NOT awkward and pathetic enough to inspire pity in the hardest of hearts. In other words, it was never meant to be seen or read outside of her particular circle jerk of suck-ass wannabees. To the great dismay of planet earth, the natural order of things was interrupted by one of God's lowliest creatures: the spambot.

“	LemmeFind is a craptacular search engine from India. They crawl the web and gank erotic and pornographic content to be categorized in their own archives so that when people use them to search for such items they have URLs to link them to. What actually happened is that they somehow - purposefully or otherwise - “miscategorized” my story as being child pornography. (I don’t know how, I don’t know why - there are no keywords associated with the post which was on a publishing website and Digg - which would indicate that terms involving child pornography should be associated with my work of fiction.) Anyhow: then apparently someone searched the terms “12 year olds get fucked” on LemmeFind and up popped my story. (???? Again, I don’t understand how this could happen since my story has nothing to do with this.) This created a Google index of that search request. So when you search the USERID associated with the story - it looks like I’ve written something grossly obscene because it appears as: “12 year olds get fucked: Name of the Story by USERID that is actually Kate.	„
—TL;DR on initial source of lulz

Contents 1 Desperate cries for help 2 Do as I say, not as I do 3 International loss and fail 4 See Also 5 External Links

[edit] Desperate cries for help

What word best decribes her reaction to something so petty and meaningless? If you picked butthurt, you win 10 fucking internets, genius. After days of whining, fake depression and attention-whoring, she fucked up and tried to make herself into the latest cause celebre for dipshit female bloggers. Adorkablegrrl is internet buddies with Violet Blue, who is equally stupid and untalented, but who actually gets paid IRL dollars for her crappy writing; something that will never happen to adorkablegrrl, not in a million years. This fact renders her blind with rage. The phony plea for healp she sent to Violet Blue was a pretty straightforward deal to draw attention and sympathy to her crappy garbage blog and her crappy garbage writing. In return, adorkablegrrl swore internet oath to bow, scrape, and polish Violet Blue's e-penis throughout this lifetime and the next. As Violet Blue is actually making $$$ off of this, her e-penis is formidable, indeed. In fact, she didn't get to be where she is today by giving other motherfuckers a leg up in the industry. Fuck that! She made a column out of it, but she also made damn sure to subtly fuck her "friend" over as well. The column itself was boring as fuck, as usual, but cleverly managed to divert attention and commentary away from the fact that she is a shit writer and has nothing interesting to say. In order to show why anyone would possibly give a crap about some fat emo bitch, she lets adorkablegrrl explain just how monumentally butthurt she is by the whole experience. In a classic quote, she locks and loads on the biggest bullshit complaint in any woman's arsenal.

“	I am horrified. Just horrified. I am literally shaking and about to throw-up. I feel HORRIBLY violated. Like I've been raped, even.	„
—adorkablegrrl throwing herself under the bus

Keep in mind that all this baaaawwwing is over a Hindu search engine archiving the content she put out for public consumption. Sounds racist, amirite? What'll srsly shock you is the fact that a 33 year-old woman continues to feel completely justified in firing off the ALMOST RAPED web distress signal. Using violent sexual assault as a metaphor for life's tiniest difficulties identifies her as a particularly shameless attention whore. Say what you will about her dumpy and graceless body, masculine jaw, unfortunate haircut and ridiculous glasses, but let it be known that she can be pretty fucking effective with the right motivation.

“	I also contacted my ex-boyfriend (who is a lawyer and I’ve previously characterized in a not-so-flattering way on this blog, for which I’m now sorry) and my friend Brittany (also a lawyer) who have been advising me all afternoon on what to do next. Thus far I have emailed a cease & desist email to the owner of the aggregation website, aka the pushers of child pornography, I have emailed the website on which the story was originally published asking for their help, I have emailed GoDaddy.com informing them of the violation and I have filed an “Internet crimes” report with the FBI.	„
—adorkablegrrl, on serious fucking business

[edit] Do as I say, not as I do

Did I mention that this cyclone of drama and butthurt hysteria is over nothing at all? What about the fact that she can add rampant hypocrisy to her list of character defects? Her blog tackles Kathy Sierra's infamously massive attention whoring in the world's most thinly disguised screed of all-consuming jealousy.

“	I know, I know - I’m a traitor to the women’s movement by saying this - but, think about it: Men are generally better (in a lot of respects) at not taking stuff like this personally. The bottom line is that if you are going to post anything on the Internet you have to be prepared to deal with the attention (both positive and negative) which you are inviting by becoming involved in the larger “conversation.” As The Resident points out, you have to have a thick skin. Yes, it is wrong and distasteful and a symptom of larger things which are wrong with our society; however, my recommendation is that if you cannot stand behind your words and deal with what people choose to say about them - don’t post.	„
—adorkablegrrl dispensing advice she has no intention of following

There's a lot of irony in the way she airily dismisses the recipient of anonymous death threats, but weeps for days in a ball of depression over a spambot aggregating her crappy content. The word for it is lulz. What would adorkablegrrl's reaction have been under the same circumstances? If history is any indicator, something along the lines of, "Now I know how the Jews feel. What happened to me is ten times worse than the Holocaust." Needless to say, Kate Kotler is plump, juicy, and hypersensitively ripe for trolling. Better watch out, though; she was dumb enough to call the FBI on a goddamn search engine.

“	I do believe calling me a child pornographer constitutes libel. Bet my attorneys are gonna be glad to hear about your glaringly libelous assassination of me on your joke of a website. Ripe for trolling? Fuck you, you 90-lb weaklings… I’m not stupid enough to play your reindeer games.	„
—adorkablegrrl, playing our reindeer games

BTW, I wonder if her "attorneys" include the ex-boyfriend she pilloried as an absolute douchebag, but runs to begging for halp at the drop of a hat. lolllollollollollollollol

[edit] International loss and fail

For reasons beyond human understanding, the webmaster of a feminist site in the UK gives adorkablegrrl a regular platform in which to complain about her life and basically bullshit people. She considers herself to be a talented writer, but, then again, she also claims to be interesting, intelligent, and good-looking. The clearest sign of someone attempting to reach beyond their poverty of talent is when they start using words they don't fully understand. She blithely declaims hilarious junk like "email all permeations of the offending splog a cease and desist letter," and "there is some voracity to this." I wonder if good old Sigmund Freud would have anything to say about the way she confuses "truth" with "excessive desire to eat." A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, especially when viewed through the rose-colored emo lenses of ultimate butthurt. The latest word that this adorkable little beast is pretty sure she understands is "copyright violation." She seems pretty fucking certain that it has the same meaning as "Abracadabra," in the sense that it magically makes shit you don't like disappear.

“	You further can compel any pinhead who further breaks copyright protection on your material in attempts to “cruelly lampoon you” to stop doing as such. Like with the courts and even making them pay you for use the material and stuff, I think.	„
—Adorkable Grrl, about to get rich off of ED

She cited the Associated Press Stylebook on media law, so I guess that quoting publicly posted content for the purpose of satire or parody is totally illegal. It's also ironic that she freely quotes this page and portrays the users of Encyclopedia Dramatica in an insulting manner, but fires up her internet lawyer to protect her from the same actions she engages in. These mental contortions are made possible by the fact that her shitty articles were "commissioned by the Shiny Media Network, a corporation," which somehow renders fair use totally invalid. Okay, so her violations of ED's copyright were done for profit and have been licensed to a profit-generating corporation, while this entry was edited solely for the lulz. Apparently, Internet Court recognizes the "I can talk about them all I want, but they can't talk about me" defense. Btw, her ex-boyfriend is off the legal team. I guess that long after he dumped her, he didn't anticipate working for free harrassing people that she fights with online. lollollollollollollol

Because she's only been exposed to totally supportive and noncritical audiences, she thinks that she can spout off the biggest pile of crap you could possibly imagine and that no one will ever call her on it. Srsly, this is the kind of garbage she actually expects people to swallow].

“	"Seriously," said one mother who would prefer to remain anonymous in context of this column, “Kate, I googled you and found Violet Blue’s article in the Chronicle and don’t think you're going to be suitable to work with our family.”	„
—trying to show that actual harm has come from all the drama

“	Said I, as I walked out the door, “You know, [name redacted,] you ignorant witch, if you’d actually read the coverage associated with that article you’d discover that I’m the victim in the situation not the victimizer.”	„
—plagiarizing the script of a bad Lifetime movie

“	I’m sure that were I a guy that no moms would be questioning my suitability to work with their kids, I would not be receiving ten emails a day calling me a ‘whore’	„
—I'm being harrassed, not just cruelly lampooned!

“	At the time this column was posted the ED entry had been removed… I’m sure it had nothing to do with some smart geek girl who knew how to edit a Wiki deleting or editing the content of the entry twelve times in the span of 24 hours. If you happen to pop over to ED and see the entry republished after this column goes to press, please email me so that the edit/removal war can commence.	„
—deep within the realm of total fantasy

[edit] See Also

Violet Blue's page on ED

[edit] External Links

• adorkablegrrl's blog

• lulzy photos of a creature pretty fucking far from "adorable"

• her Friendster profile

• her phony opinion column

• her nasty foray into pornography