Adult Swim
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Adult Swim is not block on Cartoon Network to show uncut anime, but instead is used to showcase their shitty sitcom ideas while high on skunky weed. It's also a dumping ground for failed network shows, guys who are members of the "Bob Odenkirk Cocksucking Circle", and failed indie comic writers. Some time later, it was decided that Saturdays would be devoted to anime, adding 14 year old girls to the already existing lineup of retards and stoners. The lineups have since blended and Adult Swim continues to pollute the airwaves on TV. Given the painfully low budget of their shows, and their overt support of terrorism, it's safe to assume that Adult Swim is run by self-loathing Japanese people of Jewish origin. Adult Swim is especially hated by weeaboos who still feed from their moms' tits and shit in diapers because they're too busy BAAWWWing over the lack of Inuyasha in the current schedule and writing slash fan fiction to bother using the toilet.
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[edit] Bumps
One of their trademarks is that in between shows, there is white text on a black background in which the gays at Cartoon Network get to showcase their utter contempt for their viewers, in a "I'm better than you! You suck the shit out of my asshole 'cause I rule and you drool!" hackery. Sadly, it's obvious that they put more time into writing these bumps than any of their shows.
[edit] Merchandise
Historically, Adult Swim has tried and failed to sell their merchandise. They failed so hard that it's traditional to view any attempt by them to sell their stuff with laughter due to the way that they inevitably let politics ruin the product. Most notably was when they tried to launch a line of action figures: instead of figures people wanted, we received instead (because the creators who wanted toys of figures THEY wanted, not figures that paying customers wanted), resulting in a wave of Phil Ken Sebben, a Bear, Master Shake, and MC Pee Pants figures no one bought, killing the entire toy line as a result.
The network instead has had most of its luck with hats and clothing based on "Aqua Teen Hunger Force". The people who consciously purchase this garbage are mainly post-gothic community college fags who eat at IHOP at 2:00 AM daily and speak and laugh at at least 100 decibels, perhaps under the impression that they are societal elites or even that someone enjoys or respects their unique™ and edgy humor.
[edit] Incarnations
Adult Swim has gone down more times than a 12 year old Taiwanese hooker. Constantly jumping the shark, it suffered most notably in the last six months when it lost the rights to Futurama and self-inflicted a gunshot wound to it's face by killing off 99% of its anime line-up. Only the new season of Venture Brothers has saved the network this year, as well as the kickback money Brendan Small is forced to pay Mike Lazzo out of his fortune via the Dethklok/Metalocalypse cash cow, as payment for Lazzo saving Small's career and sparing him from having to go back to his former job as an underpaid gay for pay bottom in porn movies.
[edit] No Moar Anime
Sometime in the middle of March Lulzy Adult Swim announced that they were finally pulling their "almost final solution" to the anime problem by removing all anime from their weekday lineup, sparing only Inuyasha because they knew even die-hard anime nerds hate Inuyasha. Butthurt anime nerds and weeaboos bitched and moaned about how this was unfair, and a complete violation of their weekly scheduled masturbation times, in-between downloading more shows illegally from glorious Nippon and continue hurting the business they claim to support. Adult Swim later pulled their real "final solution" and relegated anime to 5 in the morning, safe from human eyes.
Adult Swim whined back that ratings was why they took anime off the network, saying it never pulled in the ratings. This makes sense, as Amerikkkans got sick and tired of slope shows on their tee-vees years ago and now every anime company in the US is bleeding cash or shutting down. When fans complained back that Adult Swim never, EVER promoted or advertised anime, Mike Lazzo basically replied saying it wasn't worth it, and Adult Swim would rather concentrate on plug-whoring their own shitty shows so they can keep all the money, just like the other 4 media companies.
Thanks, vertical integration! You kept anime off TV!!!
Adult Swim continues to be a highly rated channel without anime, and with lots of Family Guy. Butthurt weeaboos have their own "slant" on the story, claiming the block is worse off now and that anime was this big secret that every American would embrace if only they gave it chance after chance after chance after chance after chance after chance after chance. No one cares. They're watching Tyler Perry's House of Payne.
To spite Adult Swim, many anime fans have moved to support Sci Fi Channel's "Ani-Monday," a Monday night block featuring anime no one wants to watch. Except Gurren Lagann. Manga Entertainment actually has to pay the Sci Fi Channel to run them. This block will likely disappear one day without notice too. HAHA DISGREGARD THAT IT'S GONE AFTER GURREN ENDED
[edit] Adult Swim Shows That Suck Major Ass
- Family Guy - repeats only the unfunny epsiodes, all of them
- Robot Chicken kills OVER 9000 pieces of plastic crap each episode. Still not enough to make up for the fail.
- Tom Goes To The Mayor
- Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job - Monstrously Gay and written by the same retarded faggot who made Tom Goes To The Mayor
- Metalocalypse
- Death Note
- Squidbillies
- Inuyasha (unless you're a furry)
- The Brak Show
- The Boondocks: anime+niggers=FAIL
- The Big O(ring)
- Vegeta's Power Hour
- Pee-Wee's Playhouse
- Space Ghost, Coast to Coast
- Eureka Seven
- Frisky Dingo - Seinfeld + Flash animation = FAIL
- Assy McGee
- Bleach
- Saul of the Mole Men
- Stroker and Hoop
- Lucy: Daughter of the Devil - Seinfeld + Computer animation = FAIL
- Everything else
- Garth Marenghi's Darkplace.
- Home Movies
- Sealab 2021
- Moral Orel
- 12 oz. Mouse
- Aqua Teen Hunger Force
- The Venture Bros
- Harvey Birdman.
[edit] Adult Swim shows that don't suck
Adult Swim has one good show, and that's Futurama. Wait, SHIT!!! Futurama sucks mainstream, sell-out ASS! And was cancelled due to the increasing suicide rate as viewers attempted to watch.
[edit] SuperJail
SuperJail! is a show on Adult Swim that's actually decent. It's about some 30-year-old guy (that every 13 year old girl wants to do) and his faggot midget assistant (who also wants to do him), and how they run a penitentiary in outer space or something. It's already sprouted an alarming amount of slash fanart, despite starting last Thursday.
[edit] Excerpts
Basically every Adult Swim cartoon is available for viewing on youtube, accompanied by "lol, i luv that show, lol" comments.
'Course, since the videos have now been made public, they'll get deleted by a copyright claim eventually.
Well, would you look at that, they have.
[edit] Kitties
Now at Adultswim.com they have a section on Cats with hats on.The first one is photoshopped while others are just abused fat cats. The reason why they created this section is unknown. Most likely because they're retarded furfags.
