Spyware
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Warning!: Spyware is a POTENT HERBICIDE and should be used with strict moderation under adult supervision ONLY! |
Spyware is crap that comes bundled with software (or installs just by visiting certain websites without knowing what the fuck) that website operators use to collect data about you that they then somehow turn in to money. Often spyware is buggy, uses a lot of RAM, redirects your home page to pr0n, and gives children AIDS. Basically, spyware makes your computer an absolutely useless turd. Often the best solution is to turn over your computer to the local 13 year old boy along with $70 (pay him less and he'll get more from spyware companies to install more of the shit) or whatever the asking price is for him to install and run one of the free tools listed below.
There's another type of annoying crap called "Ad-ware". Adware is known for pissing off people with annoying and completely useless pop ups, announcing shit like partypoker and adultfriendfinder, things that only fucktards, emos and retarded people are interested in. It is rumored that the person who invented adware and spyware is a fucking pedo castrado phecalphiliac, Otaku Animu lover, fatass who lives with his/her mom, also a PETA asshole.
Contents |
[edit] Anti-spyware tools
[edit] Known spywarez
- Gator/GAIN: comes with .EXE files
- WhenUSave: comes with Kazaa, etc
- eZula: installs itself from various websites
- Java.exe: Actually this is more of a "portal" for viruses and spyware
- Microsoft Internet Explorer: Same as above
- Anti-spyware software.
- The entire System32 folder. Delete it
- The entire HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT folder in regedit. Delete that too
- Autoexec.bat
- Avgwb.dat
- Mctskshd.exe
- Navapsvc.exe
- Windows ME
- Websites that end in ".info"
- Notepad
- /b/
- Your mom
- AIDS: comes with African software such as Ubuntu
- Phorm: When you sign up for a 12 month broadband contract with British Telecom [1].
[edit] Internet Explorer: the spyware and adware sites paradise
Internet explorer, the microsoft gayass internet navigation software invented by Bill Gates, is the best known program to ruin and fuck up your computer, since it is equipped with thousands of ads, and it will let trillions more enter your computer. Actually, IE makes more easy to screw up your computer, the more up-to-date is your IE, the more screwed up your computer will be. The main reason of why Bill Gates made a dumbass of himself when introducing windows to the public is because it has IE installed, thats why the computer freezes one trillion of times per second, and why the so called Blue screen of death appears.HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS. Oh yeah, one more thing, when you type passwords and personal information on IE, it will send it to many many other people and big corporations, so in fact, IE is spyware with a very expensive disguise.
[edit] Removing spyware (for windows users)
Click on Start, Run, and type cmd then press enter. If that doesn't create a big black window with grey text in it, type command then press enter. When the big black window comes up, click on it and type:
format c: /u
Believe me, this is this only way to completely remove all spyware.
For users that are not familiar with the command line interface, the free spyware removal tool Windows Optimizer is also available.
If for any weird reason that solution doesn't work, open your computer case and throw away that thing that says "HD" or "Hard Drive". Or donate it for some good trolling.
[edit] Removing Spyware (for Mac users)
YOU OWN A FUCKING MAC, YOU'RE FUCKED.
