AIDS
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
AIDS is God's way of saying "Fuck You". It stands for Anally-Inflicted Death Sentence and "S.I.D.A." in French, meaning "Sauvagement Introduit Dans l'Anus" (Savagely Introduced into Da Anus). AIDS is the politically correct term for GRIDS, Gay Cancer and The Ebonic Plague and is proof that God hates fags and niggers because all niggers have AIDS.
In spite of the disease's name, AIDS involves no aid or assistance whatsoever.
Created by Reagan during the 1980s to destroy the black race, AIDS is transmitted predominantly via buttsecks between two men. Aside from buttsecks, gay people can transmit AIDS by touch or injecting their tainted blood into harmless str8 people on the street. It is even possible to get AIDS by looking into the eyes of an infected person for more than roughly 8.3 seconds or by being kind of compassionate to any HIV-positive individual.
Do not confuse AIDS with Australian Outback AIDS, which is Alcohol Induced Dizzy Spells. Outback AIDS is curable and is made of win.
Contents |
Origin and Transmission
AIDS, the funniest thing since cancer, is caused by two variant strains of HIV which, in turn, are variants of a virus known as SIV that is found in primates. It is widely believed that HIV (and consequently AIDS) spread to humans when some filthy dark-skinned sub-human raped a monkey. Other less likely theories include the ideas that HIV was originally transmitted by laboratory animals, that some slutty flight attendant bought it over from its original, isolated location and that AIDS was developed by the United States under the conservative Reagan administration and intentionally introduced into the general population to destabilize the deviant base of the opposition party. This latter theory is particularly intriguing because Ronald Reagan embraced homosexuals with AIDS and used the disease as a political tool to demonstrate his compassion and deep commitment to social justice.
AIDS is also a common ingredient of theft-deterrent dye packs or sensors. When a criminal removes the sensor from a stolen article the AIDS-containing ink is released on his skin, infecting them. They then spread the disease to every pool within travel distance. If a nigra uses your pool you should close it due to AIDS.
AIDS: A Closer Look
If one looks at HIV under a microscope you will find that it is very small compared to other cells. You will also see it trying to take over everything around it. What do small things trying to take over everything around it remind you of? That's right: 'the Jews. Jews actually developed HIV while cannibalizing abras. Their nefarious scheme was to use it to take revenge and rule the world. AIDS is simply a concentration of Jew golds in the bloodstream forcing it to surrender to all incoming disease. (See South Park for incontrovertible proof of this.)
AIDS and Culture
AIDS is a popular theme in television and pop culture. This is because there is nothing funnier than the pain and suffering of another human being.
"Bad AIDS" Versus "Good AIDS"
British news program Brass Eye brought us the definition of "Good AIDS" as AIDS acquired via a blood transfusion as opposed to "Bad AIDS" obtained by fucking your "boyfriend" (met 5-10 minutes earlier in a truck stop). "Good AIDS" is just another way of saying Hey, I have AIDS, but the way I caught it is fucking BORING.
Sadly, people with Good AIDS will never, ever get laid, whereas those with Bad AIDS will feel free to smoke all the meth they want and fuck random HIV+ strangers.
AIDS and Weight Loss
AIDS - Now in Chocolate flavor too!
Notable Incidents
- Habbo Hotel, based in Finland regularly has its pools closed due to AIDS. On 6/12/06, AID-Infested nigras entered the hotel to protest the racism of the hotel staff, and ultimately caused the entire hotel to shut down due to AIDS.
- Encyclopedia Dramatica is sometimes closed due to AIDS
- AIDS is responsible for the indefinite closing of all of the pools in Africa.
AIDS Denial
AIDS dissidents believe that HIV does not cause the AIDS. When confronted with evidence to the contrary, they pout and scream that such evidence is a lie, produced by the greedy pharmaceutical companies that produce AIDS treatments.
Anyone who's spent some time on Earth will not be surprised that some "people" simultaneously believe that HIV doesn't cause AIDS and that it was developed and spread by the Gummint. Tards.
On a lulzy note, AIDS-denialists claim they are real skeptics. Though, actual skeptics say otherwise.
On an even lulzier note, several HIV-infested Britfags (in the most literal sense of the term) started up an AIDS-denial newsletter called "Continuum" that was forced to fold last Thursday BECAUSE ALL THE EDITORS HAD DIED. Habeeb it!
On the lulziest note of all, every single person who opposes the HIV/AIDS "theory" will contract HIV, develop AIDS and fucking die. LOL!
Facts
- You can get AIDS from sitting on a toilet seat.
- You can get AIDS from sharing drinks.
- You can get AIDS from having unprotected receptive anal sex with multiple anonymous partners.
- It is impossible for straight white people to get AIDS... unless they interact with anyone infected with AIDS in any way (see top).
- If you have AIDS, it is mandatory that you have sex with as many people as you can. The more the merrier!
- If you have sex with an underage virgin, the AIDS will completely vanish from your system.
- The score is currently AIDS: 23 million, Homos: -5.
- Having AIDS is a bannable offense on TOW.
- Ethiopians hate AIDS because Bob Geldolf won't leave them the fuck alone.
- AIDS is the primary cause of pool closures world wide.
- HIV is synonymous with AIDS.
- Everyone who has AIDS dies a slow and miserable death.
- One can buy AIDS for 5 bucks on any street corner.
- In Soviet Russia, AIDS has you!
- Just kidding. Even if you move to Russia, you'll still have AIDS.
- If you are old, you may have to purchase hearing AIDS. Luckily, those on a limted budget can acquire these for free at any local gay bar.
- AIDS can be defeated by quilting and red ribbons.
- Jews cause AIDS.
- Dani Faulk has AIDS IRL.
- Eazy E got AIDS from Freddy Mercury.
- Applemilk1988 has JapAIDS.
- According to actress and Scientologist Jenna Elfman, "AIDS is a state of mind, not a disease.."
- I gave AIDS to your sister, dude. Yeah, you should probably tell her about that.
- Ted Haggard has AIDS and gave it to his wife.
- According to blogger Andrew Sullivan, AIDS improves your sex life by eliminating the need to use a condom.
- You have AIDS.
| Enjoy your AIDS | ||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||
|
See also
External links
- Habbo Hotel - Take a guess what's in the pool.
- The good citizens of Alabama prevent more IRL AIDS/pool incidents.
- GAMBIAN COOKS CURE AIDS FOR AFRICA! FUCK
- If someone near you has AIDS, for fuck's sake, DON'T LET THEM CLEAN YOUR SHOES.
- A new way of enjoying your AIDS has surfaced. Why take diet pills when you can enjoy AIDS?
- An educational animation about healthy nutrition for infested subjects.
- Documentary on AIDS
 |
AIDS is part of a series on Homosexual Deviants |
| Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
 |
AIDS is part of a series on Diseases and Disorders. |
