AIDS

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Early U.S. government advertisement for their new "AIDS" product line.
Early U.S. government advertisement for their new "AIDS" product line.

AIDS stands for anally injected death sentence. AIDS is the politically correct term for Gay Cancer, and is proof that God hates fags. AIDS has claimed dozens of lives worldwide. As the name of the disease implies, AIDS is spread predominantly via buttsex. Gay People also transmit AIDS by kissing, biting, or injecting their tainted blood into random people on the street. We're not only sure about this, we're HIV positive.

Contents

Origin and Transmission

The origin of AIDS.
The origin of AIDS.

AIDS is caused by two variant strains of HIV which, in turn, are variants of a virus known as SIV that is found in primates. It is widely believed that HIV (and consequently AIDS) spread to humans when some filthy nigger raped a monkey. Other, less likely theories include the ideas that HIV was originally transmitted by laboratory animals, or that AIDS was developed by the United States under the conservative Reagan administration and intentionally introduced into the general population to destabilize the deviant base of the opposition party. This latter theory is particularly intriguing because Ronald Reagan embraced the cause of homosexuals with AIDS, and used to disease politically as a demonstration of his social awareness and compassion.

AIDS is also a common ingredient of theft-deterrent dye packs or sensors. When a criminal removes the sensor from a stolen article the AIDS-containing ink is released on his skin, infecting the criminal. The criminal then spreads AIDS with each rape he commits. AIDS is also known to linger in pools. If a nigra uses your pool you should close it due to AIDS.

AIDS and Culture

AIDS is a popular theme in television and pop culture. This is because there is nothing funnier than the pain and suffering of another human being.

"Bad AIDS" vs "Good AIDS"

British news program Brass Eye brought us the definition of "Good AIDS" as getting it from a blood transfusion as opposed to "Bad AIDS" obtained by your boyfriend. "Good AIDS" is just another way of saying "Hey, I have AIDS, but the way I caught it is fucking BORING.

Perhaps the most overused and misused form of AIDS is the "Good AIDS", common amongst stupid people that either want attention, got butt-hurt and turned emo, or just didn't clean off the needle that their lover mercilessly shoved into their shithole during a awkward and confusing ass tattoo. All in all, "Good AIDS" is a dreary and shitty way to get pwned and die, and give a reason for others to tell you to "die from AIDS".

AIDS and Weight Loss

AIDS is an effective weight loss tool.

Try new Peanut Butter AIDS!

AIDS - Now in Chocolate flavor too!

Notable Incidents

AIDS Denial

AIDS dissidents believe that HIV doesn't cause teh AIDS. When confronted with evidence to the contrary, they pout and scream that such evidence is a lie, produced by the greedy pharmaceutical companies that produce AIDS treatments.

On an extremely lulzy note, several HIV-infested Britfags (in the most literal sense of the term) started up an AIDS-denial newsletter called "Continuum" that was forced to fold last Thursday BECAUSE ALL THE EDITORS HAD DIED. Habeeb it!

The following documentary clip summarizes AIDS dissent:

You can view more of the documentary Here! And of course, what this woman is saying is Absolutely True!


Cheering up People with AIDS

A porn star talks about being infected with AIDS...

Remember, if life gives you AIDS, make LemonAIDS!! Here are a few tips to help you cheer up your AIDS-infested friends.

  • Go up to a person with AIDS and say "I've got a hilarious joke for you! What is the cure for AIDS?". They will most likely respond with "THERE'S A CURE FOR AIDS?!?!". You say "Of course not! It's a joke!"
  • Suggest they fucking shower every now and again.

Facts

This shirt was cheaper than a subscription to Gaydar.com.
This shirt was cheaper than a subscription to Gaydar.com.
  • The score is currently AIDS: 23 million, Homos: 0.
  • You can get AIDS from sitting on a toilet seat.
  • Having AIDS is a bannable offense on TOW.
  • Homosexuals hate AIDS because it symbolizes the filth of their "lifestyle."
  • Ethiopians hate AIDS because Bob Geldolf won't leave them the fuck alone.
  • AIDS is the primary cause of pool closures world wide.
  • You can get AIDS from masturbating.
  • HIV is synonymous with AIDS.
  • Everyone who has AIDS dies a slow and miserable death.
  • One can buy aids for 5 bucks on any street corner.
  • In Soviet Russia AIDS has you!
  • Blindness is actually hearing AIDS.
  • AIDS can be defeated by quilting and red ribbons.
  • Jews cause AIDS.
  • Dani Faulk has AIDS IRL.
  • Eazy E got AIDS from Freddy Mercury.
  • Applemilk1988 has JapAIDS.
  • According to actress and Scientologist Jenna Elfman, "AIDS is a state of mind, not a disease.."
  • I gave AIDS to your sister, dude. Yeah, you should probably tell her about that.
  • Ted Haggard has AIDS and gave it to his wife.
  • According to blogger Andrew Sullivan, AIDS improves your sex life by eliminating the need to use a condom.
  • You have AIDS.

Enjoy your AIDS

External links

  • The good citizens of Alabama prevent more AIDS-pool incidents IRL.
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