Alcoholics Anonymous
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Alcoholics Anonymous is an international fellowship of men and women who are non-boozers and are afraid to admit it to the general populace.
[edit] What is A.A?
It is drama-filled, generally court-ordered (Remember that time you tried to rape a police officer after putting 40 ice cold beers away? Thought not.) and available almost everywhere (except for any fine establishments that stock delicious + refreshing alcoholic beverages). There are no age or education requirements, just dedication to the finest sport known to mankind: drinking yourself into fucktarded oblivion.
Some professionals refer to alcoholism and drug addiction as “substance abuse” or “chemical dependency.” We prefer to call it "lulz". Nonalcoholics are, therefore, sometimes introduced to A.A. and encouraged to attend A.A. meetings - making it surprisingly easy to pick up anything (or anyone, they're all drunk) you want. Hookers and blow are kept on ice for emergency party situations. Anyone may attend open A.A. meetings, but only those who really like to get down and drink hard may attend closed meetings.
[edit] What Does A.A. Do?
The actual program of A.A. revolves around giving up your life to a God. The theory being that if you give yourself up for God to fix he'll give enough of a shit to do it. This cunningly enables A.A. Members to blame all their problems on God, as it's His fault they still drink. A.A. members share their experience with anyone seeking help with a drinking problem; they give person-to-person service or "sponsorship" to the alcoholic coming to A.A. from any source - helping you become a more efficient boozehound in the process. The A.A. program, set forth in our Twelve Steps, offers the alcoholic a way to develop a satisfying life filled to the brim with alcohol.
[edit] See Also
- Rehab
- Never drinking again
- Hangover
- The Al-Anon LJ Community. Dramatic, yet sadly troll-free at this point in time.
