Alcon
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Warning!: This article is about AlCon which is a real anime convention which real anime fans are going to enjoy. The committee will ensure that they'll want to attend the next convention. |
Contents |
[edit] The Committee
Of course, none of the committee had ever actually ran an event before. FreeSaiyan himself isn't even capable of holding down a job, and thinks that running a shitty webforum that he posts in all day is as good as going out and earning a wage like everyone else. All one needs to know about FreeSaiyan can be discovered from his September 2007 tag on AnimeLeague: Underhand Tactioner. Taction means touch or contact - so the dumb fuck is actually admitting to running aspects of AlCon covertly (see Event Stealing below).
[edit] Freesaiyan
Freesaiyan (Michael Towers) is well known among his online community as a paedophile, a power mad nazi, lazy useless asshole and general all round twunt. He has repeatedly struggled to cope with organising his forums and small scale meets, and famous amongst the convention community for the worst con in the UK. Suffering from paranoid delusions he thinks anyone gives enough of a fuck about him and his doings to try and sabotage him. FreeSaiyans' delusions have spread to his theories about how brilliant and successful ALcon, animeleague and his work is (this is coming from the guy who hasn't got a job and lives with his mummy - he's 25. He recently snubbed members who cared enough to try and help him out, but he told them their help was unnecessary since no one can compete with the 13 THOUSAND members on his forum. Ironically the most ever online was 139. Clever Mikey, that's a really big number. Lolz. As well as his delusions about the sucess of his forum, he is a well noted paedophile.He is a 25, going on 26 year old who still holds 'meet ups' for females under 16. Don't forget your ID, he needs top clarify that you are officially a child. No post puberty girls for him! FreeSaiyans meets have become such a joke that there is even an animeleague anthem about him.
The Michael Towers Song:
There's only one Michael Towers With a packet of crisps And the cheesiest smile Michael is a fucking paedophile.
The animeleague meets are just official reasons for FreeSaiyan to hook up with girls, after he has provided them with enough alcohol to kill a small whale from the meets 'excess', from which he also draws his wages.
In short FreeSaiyan likes to get unsuspecting girls drunk and make sweet womanly love to them, not to mention crying hysterically after, about how THAT DARNED MEWSKI IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE HIM! Afterall what sane drunk and violated child doesn't want to hear their rapist cry about his pathetic life. Don't forget he likes to use his administration to act as his social life. Overall ALcon maybe Failcon, but FreeSaiyan is just Let's-sleep-with-underage-girls-and-delude-myself-Saiyan.
[edit] THE DRAMAS!!
[edit] Ryan Gentle
In a desperate bid to claw back credibility AlCon prepared a press release disassociating themselves with Ryan and making it clear they bought him a one-way ticket to BannedVille. Ryan's reaction? Gun based violence. Best of luck with your next endeavour, Ryan!
[edit] Gamestation
British game store chain Gamestation were reported to have been eager to run the Games Room at AlCon. However, the manager of the local GameStation store laughed at the idea when contacted, and claimed to have "filed their phone number somewhere, probably in the bin".
[edit] Midlands MCM Expo
[edit] AmeCon 2007
In an attempt to consolidate their atrocious attendee percentage, some of the committee set up a registration desk at AmeCon'07 in the, er, Bring and Buy Room. Despite strict instructions not to harass AmeCon attendees, the people "running" that desk employed what can only be described as barrow-boy tactics, decamping out into corridors and haranguing anyone that ventured within half a light year of the Bring and Buy Room, including AmeCon committee members, one of whom was collared at least three times. Furthermore, despite the promise of live-action fanservice in the less-than-appealing shape of a topless female (Washu), they actually ended up worse off than when they started.
Total cancellations: One
Mission...... Well and truly FAILED
[edit] Event stealing
It was well known that AlCon were only out to steal events from other, more established conventions to fund their own pockets and as a vain attempt to claw back what they were set to lose. This was even more evident in the fact that while at AmeCon 2007, with the underhanded (and ultimately counter-productive) tactics that they had been using to recruit new members, they "borrowed" events from them, including one of the long time standing guests of AmeCon, Japanese culture expert and all round very nice person Akemi Solloway. This must have been done on the quiet, for otherwise AmeCon committee members and other senior staff would have both (a) jumped on the surreptitious little twats and turfed them out on their arses a damn sight sooner and (b) let the trusting Akemi know what she was letting herself in for. The full thread, and the near-total lack of enthusiasm (not to mention absence of posts saying "Hold up, wasn't she at AmeCon?") can be seen here.
[edit] Committee Confusion
On top of all the drama, they couldn't even decide on their committee, which included such people as 'Shadow Jam' (a drama llama, Pizza Hut obsessive and well known racist) and 'Sakuraslight', yet the moment drama erupts of their advertising techniques they are suddenly no longer part of 2008's attempt - although they plan to have the whole team on for "next year".
[edit] Registration Count
Pfffffffff.
[edit] The Convention Itself
The convention was set to run up to about 7pm each evening... at which point everyone was be kicked out of the main University and all of the "300" members were to head to a pub down the road where all the evening events were meant to happen. The car-crash of an event said that there would be a DJ supplied by the bar, who didn't even play anime or Japanese music, so everyone got to listen to a night of fucking shit British indie music that college kids like instead.
Posted before the con by FreeSaiyan himself on the AnimeLeague Forums was this lovely list of reasons why people should have attended AlCon. You have to remember, of course, that FreeSaiyan had never been to an Anime Convention before! So he definitely knows what he's talking about!!!!!!!!!
1. We're all friendly and down to Earth. Probably the friendliest convention in the UK. (Note that he wouldn't know as he hasn't been to any other conventions. Besides which, you'd think the friendlier ones would have committee meetings rather than committee fucking screaming matches.)
2. Anime Bar! In addition to everything else, we have a bar with anime on the big screens! Relax, and have a few drinks! (In a desperate attempt to make use of their so-called anime bar, they'll be forcing everyone into it at the end of the day - because everything else shuts down. Oh, sorry, if you're under 18 that means LOL BUTTHURT FOR YOU!)
3. NOT just anime! We have rooms for Video Gamers, Roleplayers, Artists, and much more! Even if you aren't a huge anime fan, you'll have a great time! (Thought this was an Anime Convention? Oh well, who cares about that when you're 220 people behind on the paying memberships front! Also, since they don't actually have anyone to organise most of this shit with only a few months to go, you can guess how great the events will be.)
4. Attention to detail. Since we're relatively small (300 people), we can put in the time to ensuring you get an amazing convention experience! We'll put in the effort for you. (This is so they can have more time to argue with each other. If they can't be fucking civil in committee meetings, guess how much lulz will ensue on a weekend when they actually have to do some work?)
5. So much for cosplayers! Cosplay Masquerade, cosplay blind-date and so much more planned! (For blind, read completely fucking desperate.)
(WEBcomic artist whose WEBcomic hasn't even been on the fucking WEB for months, and an illegal dubber of a licensed anime... joooooooooooooy. But still somehow more interesting than meeting shit American voice-actors at Amecon!)
7. We're very CHEAP! Only £30 entry. AND, if you need a place to stay, you can stay at the Halls of Residence (3 minutes walk away) for just over £50 for three nights. We're one of the cheapest conventions in the UK! (Actually, this one is almost true - but they probably don't mean the same sense of CHEAP! as we do. But then again, you get what you pay for. You could probably hold an anime convention in your bathroom by drawing frames from Naruto on the wall in your own urine for FREE!)
8. Dealers! An entire room to buy the kind of items you'd not normally be able to find in the shops! (With Ryan as the original dealer liaison, this is bound to be a success!!!! We can't wait!!!! And of course you can't normally find this kind of tat in the shops - especially if you're looking in a fucking grocery shop.)
9. We love to party! Pub Quiz, J-Party, AMV Night, and much more lined up! (All in the bar! That bar is starting to sound kind of full, huh? Of course, they haven't contacted any of the people who have experience of running events like this, so you can look forward to a bunch of first-timers fucking everything up. Much like everything else to do with AlCon!)
10. We have an amazing online community. Just go visit the animeleague forums and get to know us today! (Another ploy to get people to join FreeSaiyan's community, where 90% of members aren't even from the UK, and the UK section is just filled with Drama with the the gruesome twosome (Mewski and FreeSaiyan) arguing over who should be chair!)
[edit] Post Con
Now that FailCon is over, the reports are coming in hard and fast, with such comments as "All we could do is stand around" and "The MCM Expo is alot better than Alcon" rapidly appeared out of the wood work. Some from "helpers" on the day, specifically the long ditched Mewski, who tried to help out the convention with warnings from everyone that FreeSaiyan would just abuse her, only to actually be abused! This included the borrowing of everything she owned, as FailCon had not even considered bringing any equipment with them, and also the fact that the dealers still considered Mewski to be the chair of the con.
As predicted by all who had even the slightest semblance of a clue, the convention was a complete failure.
[edit] External Links
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Alcon is part of a series on Anime. |
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