Alex Jones
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
[edit] Documentaries
The most notable portion of Jones' longstanding career is the absurd number of documentaries he's made over the years exposing the lies of the government. The first big name in these exposés was America: Wake Up or Waco, about the FBI raid on the Branch Davidians in 1993.
Average plot summary of an Alex Jones documentary:
- The Branch Davidians were not a cult but a peace-loving religious group. And David Koresh was in no way a pedophile.
- The government is being run by the Worldwide Masonic Conspiracy, who are in turn run by Satanists.
- The Masonic Conspiracy funds wars through centralized banks.
- Jews did WTC and the Holocaust.
- The government is creating a North American Union as a cover to poison the world population with nano-technology and enslave the human race. (Seriously. Don't believe it? Try this on for size.)
All of these documentaries are on sale on one of Jones' various websites. All of them cost a small fortune for the DVD versions, but since people rip them and put them on Google video no one buys them anyway.
[edit] Radio Show
Like every libertarian intellectual with a computer, Jones is also famous for having his own radio show. Most of the time it tends to be a circle-jerk of conspiracy theorists and people who call in only to get pwnt by Jones' fanboys.
Other popular topics include:
- Celebrity interviews, like that guy who claims to have fucked an alien and the editor of the World Weekly News
- Jones getting Loose Change made into a Hollywood production
- The true faces of the New World Order
- The Elite Agenda
Some argue that the Muse song "Time is Running Out" is about the blowjob Jones gave Matthew Bellamy to get him to appear on the show.
[edit] The Internet
Jones runs a number of websites devoted to his war against the elite, the most notable of which are Prison Planet and Infowars. Both sites appeal to freethinkers of the eclectic variety. Though liberals love to cite Jones as a champion of truth and freedom in the wake of George Bush's rampant faggotry, any moron who actually bothers to read his articles would know that he's just as bad, if not worse than the people he so heroically stands against. This makes Jones roughly the political equivalent of a televangelist.
Selling points of an Alex Jones website include:
- Articles about the dangers of government
- Ads for critical survivalist literature written by ardent Jones supporters
- Trailers for Jones' next documentary
[edit] Typical Alex Jones Show
[edit] Dr. Death, 2006
The drama began when a well-known scientist, Dr. Pianka, gave a lecture at the Texas Academy of Science and made some off-hand remarks about how humans were destroying the planet and how likely it is a pandemic will wipe out a large portion of the population in the future. Investigative journalist and general fucktard Forrest Mims decided that these were the words of a mad scientist bent on wiping out the human population with an airborne virus, and Jones quickly caught on, calling Pianka "Dr. Death", the frontman for the elite's New World Order agenda of genocide.
In the time since, Dr. Pianka's received a number of death threats from various crusaders for justice.
- Dr. Pianka asks that people stop sending his daughters death threats
- Intelligent Design fucktard decides to expose Dr. Pianka's evil scheme to the Department of Homeland Security
- The Texas Academy fires back!
- TOW article about the drama
[edit] Trolling Alex Jones' Fanbase
- Show them this article
- Add a link to Tin Foil Hat to the See Also section of his TOW. When one of his fan boys reverts, add it again.
- Inform them that Ron Paul
hashad as much of a chance winning the election as a cat has of winning a dog show. - Mock their beliefs by telling them that you're a member of the Illuminati or that Ron Paul is really a space lizard.
- Ask them why they don't get vaccinations[1] or use anything with fluoride[2].
- Inform them that JEWS DID WTC
- Now keep in mind that this doesn't fit in with Alex Jones' conspiracy theory so they will argue this with a series of long ass messages that you'll nevar read. Be persistent and when asked for your proof direct them to: http://jews911.on.nimp.org or something to that effect.
- Chances are you're not going to get any response after that. But just imagine some basement dwelling, tin foil hat wearing, fucktard that believes just about anything clicking one of those links. There lies your joy.
- Now keep in mind that this doesn't fit in with Alex Jones' conspiracy theory so they will argue this with a series of long ass messages that you'll nevar read. Be persistent and when asked for your proof direct them to: http://jews911.on.nimp.org or something to that effect.
[edit] Critical Questions for the Alex Jones Fan
- If Alex Jones' documentaries and books are full of the vital critical information needed to stop the New World Order, why does he still charge money for them?
- How can a world-controlling organization be stopped by the very system of government it invented?
- ...oh wait. It CAN'T.
- If Alex Jones and Dylan Avery are all that stands between the government and world domination, why haven't they been killed by CIA hitmen yet?
- If fire can't melt steel, then how come this happened?
- Also, isn't steel made by melting stuff?
- See if they can define Neocon in their own words without using anything they learned from Alex Jones or Wikipedia, or see if they can use it in a accurate and non-sensationalistic manner.
- Ask them if they can explain why Jones stated the firefighters were involved in 9/11 on his radio show and web site, but when he was quested about it later he denied he ever said anything like that[3].
[edit] See Also
- Ron Paul
- Libertarian
- Survivalist
- Worldwide Masonic Conspiracy
- Loose Change
- Zeitgeist - The Movie
- Truther
[edit] External Links
- Prison Planet
- Infowars
- WHAT THE FUCK
- Jones Report
- Seriously how many fucking sites does this guy have
- Stop the New World Order! Through MySpace!
- Antidepressants Cause Murder!
- Homosexuals Cause Suicide!
- 9/11 Causes Abuse of the Bold Tag!
- The Truth is out there! Wake up!
- Maddox' fans insist he call in to Jones' radio show to get PWNT

