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America is Racist

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Hippies deface the US flag with swastikas to generate drama among conservatives. Both groups fail to recognize the win of swastikas.
Hippies deface the US flag with swastikas to generate drama among conservatives. Both groups fail to recognize the win of swastikas.
Some argue these are racists but it's just Scooby-Doo fanatics dressed as ghosts for Thanksgiving because America is not racist.
Some argue these are racists but it's just Scooby-Doo fanatics dressed as ghosts for Thanksgiving because America is not racist.

A heated editorial that claims America is (or is not) racist is an excellent drama-generating technique. Maximum lulz can be obtained by tailoring the content to your audience.

Contents

Examples of Usage

Visiting Politically Liberal Forums: "OMG! The US Is Not Racist."

Introduce yourself by bitching about dope-smoking leftards, especially foreign ones. Assure the group you are not racist, that America does not have a problem with racism, and that anyone who thinks it does is an unemployed assclown fueled by bigoted hate for everything white. This is a good point in time to bring up Bill Clinton. All hippies worship him and you shouldn't let them forget he is Satan spawn. If the left-wing fops seem too dazed to work up sufficient drama in response, add that Ann Coulter is really hot.

Visiting Politically Conservative Forums: "OMG! The US Is So Racist."

Begin by mentioning that every nation in the world is more civilized than the United States and express your keen desire to move elsewhere, as soon as you graduate from private school. At first, ad hominem embellishments must be general but you will soon meet combatants who want to discuss your theories, so you can personalize your insults as the drama escalates. Don't be afraid to use the classics: Make continuous indignant references to The Man and compare the Establishment's oppression of minority races to the way your mom won't let you get your nipples pierced. Close by announcing Michael Moore is a god and throw in your suspicions that George W. Bush personally attacked New York on 9/11.

Visiting White Supremacist Forums: "I'm black and your momma loves it..."

Try to bridge the gap between the races by sidestepping the question of racism. Instead, share pictures of multi-racial orgies along with friendly commentary like, "Oh, yeah, your mom loved it." Though you will be invited to meet the group in person, don't go.

List of People Who Think America is Racist

See Also

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