Anarchy Online
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Anarchy Online is considered the worst sci-fi MMORPG evar made. It was made like eight or so years ago by Funcom, who are located in Norway. This game's original gameplay featured people running around doing mission after mission. The missions were internal and generated randomly. People found this very boring so they released dungons to go along with this boring game. Eventually they released a "booster pack" which in short means a patch you pay for. This allowed for people not just to PvP, but to attack some stupid towers that gave Orgs (see guilds) speacial bonuses no one needs. Orgs are part of the Clan or Omni faction, or you can be a gay neutral fence sitting faggot and not join a faction. There are only three servers. RK1: Atlantean, RK2: Rimor and the German server RK3: Die Neue Welt Das Dritte Reich.
All in all, this game is really stupid. People who still play it have been playing it from launch and don't know better. The max level was 200, but with the Shadowlands expansion pack, you get 20 shadowlevels which are like Funcom's way of saying "fuck you". The Shadowlands expansion also is less sci-fi and instead all its content is taken straight from WoW and EQ. Then they gave us 30 alien levels with the "alien invasions" exp. which allows you to ask aliens to attack you, they never randomly invaide you, at all. Then when World of Warcraft came out, everyone left Anarchy Online, making Funcom get butthurt. They released an expansion called Lost Eden which consisted of more overpowered weapons, more to whine about and a "Battlestation" which is a large scaling instance based PvP zone. Its layout never changes (it is fun 5 times?) where everyone else is better than you. With all the fail in the game, many people have left.
While the game is ancient, it still gives the player many different ways to make his character unique. You can choose from a variety of high-tech implants to boost skills you suck at, like chest, wrist and other boring shit. It really is complex, so here is a link to a equipment configuration site (Auno.org). The armor in the game looks horrible and Funcom had to introduce a shitty "social tab", which is just another tab page you have to keep up with in your equip menu as if implants, armor, weapons didn't block it up enough, so that you can appear as wearing nothing but a thong on your grey mutant weirdo.
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Breeds
Atrox
This breed is great for:
- Engineer
- Nano Physicist
- Trader
Skills to level up as Atrox:
- Perception
- Swimming
Nanomage
This breed is great for:
- Keeper
- Martial Artist
- Soldier
- Shade
Skills to up as Nanomage:
- Swimming
- Grenades
Opifex
This breed is great for:
Skills to up as Opifex:
- Parry
- Swimming
Solitus (Human)
This breed is great for:
Skills to up as Solitus:
- Digging
- Swimming
Professions (Classes)
- Adventurer - This class can be an animal. They have different cat forms, wolf form, dragon form, and tree form. Popular with closet furries.
- Agent - They can hide from everything. They can also cosplay the doctor, and heal while doing decent damage. They can also trap melee classes for easy ganking. In fact, this is one of the gank classes, so if you play it you are most likely a pussy because you can only shoot and run away.
- Bureaucrat - They're really lame to play, all they do is charm shitty NPCs and whine. Besides increasing the amount of XP you get from punching the same guy over and over, and few lame area buffs, everything else is crowd control. (Because people loves to play a character who's only ability is to prevent someone else from moving.)
- Doctor - They have the ability to heal and do no damage. They never die and nevar kill. Don't attack these. Or else you will probably end up fighting until someone finally decides to divide by zero.
- Enforcer - Big and strong, but they are melee, so most of the time you get "you are not close enough to attack" spamming your screen.
- Engineer - A gay pet class no one plays. Engineers are also known to be the makers of "crab" and are also known as "tradeskilling monkeys".
- Fixer - Fast, ranged, and can stun people. People would usually get bored of this class if they didn't get fixer grid, which somehow makes this class fun.
- Keeper - Came out with Shadowlands. They have amazing damage and health. Their perk attacks are the best. They get auras that enable them to EVERYTHING and used to be unkillable. Not anymore, fuckers!
- Martial Artist - 50000 years into the future and you are using your fists. i think Martial Artist is a pretty cool guy, eh uses his fists against guns and doesn't afraid of anything.
- Metaphysicist - Another gimpy pet class. Who cares?
- Nano Technician - A class you will never see because you will be dead when there's one nearby.
- Shade - This class is basically Agent except no rifle, but with butter knives, leaves, and shit. Dies very fast. They also have terrible armor. However, their new nanos do give them a fighting chance, almost as much as Dusty had against Glenn.
- Soldier - This class gets the best things in the game. It's really the most overpowered character in any MMO until a Trader with BR reflect drains you, or a NT with reflect bypassing nukes pumps you, or the engi runs up and hugs you and splashes NSD all over your face like mayo makeup. Really funny to watch Esquobar tear his opponents new holes, running around lol'n at all the /tears that follow when he takes down 4 people at once.
- Trader - He drains the life from you making you a pathetic pile of shit. Traders are a sort of parasitic leech who sometimes help a poor guy to equip a new sword before complaining about not getting any tip. They fill two important functions in the game: First, they are a poor excuse when a developer screws up and make another class too strong by receiving an ability to completely destroy said class. Then, they make everyone's life miserable by stealing their health, armor, evasion, skills, energy, shields, and virginity before rooting them. Sometimes a trader feels sorry for you and shoot you in the face with a shotgun.
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Factions
- Omni-Tek
They own just about everything in AO's world of Rubi-Ka. Most players go with them because they will get the upper-hand.
- The Clans
The rebel faction, they fight with Omni-Tek for the control of Rubi-Ka and freedom! Too bad they suck.
- Neutrals
They form alliances with Omni-Tek when they are not sitting on the fence, undecided. They are the 1 in 10 that don't know who to vote for.
 The Neutrals: fence-sitters |
Free To Play
(Buy energy drinks!)
With the death of the game near about 4 years ago, Funcom decided to make the original (no expansions) game free. You are just lagged up by ads from time to time in order to play for free. They later allowed people the Notumn Wars "booster pack" for free along with the original version. Goddamn.
Typical Gameplay
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Raiding
Well, since the game lacked a raid system since... forever, the people of Anarchy Online were forced to create their own raid system. Vhab bot was born, or vhabot, hellcom, or whatever the fuck, and it makes loads of different bots which allowed people to join the raid, roll for items, chat and such. Items that were noDrop (can't be traded) were distributed by buying the loot rights with "point" which you get for doing multiply raids. 1 raid usually got you 7 points, and it takes 600 to get anything good. Making gear take forever, and lots of ninja-looting (taking things and then leaving) and drama spout from this. There is a forum you must use to apply to be allowed to raid. Clan and omni had different raid bots.
UPDATE: The URL to this article was posted on the vhabot forums. These are the reactions!
Patches
When the game was released the patches were sporadic, and while scarce they did actually fix some shit. Lately (as in the past 3 years of this game) patches are used to break the game. Patches can be rated from 10 to 1, 10 being crap patch but fixing some shit while breaking some other to 1, meaning they will break a lot of shit, add a lot of crap nobody will use, and you'll have to pay for it. As of late, "1" means a booster or an expansion pack.
On average, a patch breaks 3 things per stuff it fixes, so each shitty patch tends to have exponential bug adding, and sometimes not fixing anything and only adding bugs (Funcom team calls these "features"). Also know as the infamous GM term "Working as intended", when that's big fat fucking lie.
In 2009, Funcom did another shitty patch, as expected it fucking sucked. But this time they surpased themselves and fucked so bad they had to do a rollback. Here's the official word! AO players even get very outraged by this.
Toboexxx
Some guys in a clan got butthurt at some noob trying to boss them around. Toboexxx, a clan member on RK1, is one the dumbest humans alive. He bugged PvP raidbot admins about being a leader until he was finally put in charge of gathering low level players and sending them to the battlefield. He went power crazy. So people got annoyed and started showing him his own stupidity by quoting him. He also made his own org (guild) over and over. (Currently, it could be Striking Fear.) Here are some funnies from people in his org or himself.
[Clan shopping 1-50] Toboexxx: wth tradeskiller to make ql 300 control towers pst [Clan shopping 1-50] Makeshiz: 255 is highest CT possible in game, noobcakes
Lulz
[Storm] Lusthorne: if only tobo were here, he could calculate this for me with the greatest of speed
Team chance!
[Toboexxx]: joo got one chance to not be a dick To [Toboexxx]: i'm in BS. wtf do you want. [Toboexxx]: we got a very good team albtraum. our doc keepsa going ld. Im going to give you a chance to get some phatz here PROVIDING you dont be mean To [Toboexxx]: Suck My Balls you effing noob. i have all phatz from alba.. maybe if you didn't think you were some sort of uber god (you're an idiot).. you would actually have respected people teaming with you.. versus you paying off teammates with /asskissing. [Toboexxx]: blew your chance bai
lol @ toboe groupies
[Shaguar]: u r clanar and u r playing with omni .. [Shaguar]: retard clanar To [Shaguar]: OMG NO WAI?? [Shaguar]: OMG FUCK YOU To [Shaguar]: lol wut? [Shaguar]: To [Mcbtj]: OMG FUCK YOU To [Mcbtj]: OMG FUCK YOU To [Mcbtj]: OMG FUCK YOU To [Mcbtj]: OMG FUCK YOU To [Shaguar]: um? To [Shaguar]: past your bedtime? [Shaguar]: stupid noob To [Shaguar]: QQ /wrist /linkinpark more To [Shaguar]: who the hell are you and what the hell is your problem? [Shaguar]: my problem is you [Shaguar]: OMNi at oa grid and u play with them [Shaguar]: kill them stupid clanar [Shaguar]: delete your char and roll an omni To [Shaguar]: lol you're toboe aren't you? [Shaguar]: i`m our mother To [Shaguar]: if all clanners were like you I would To [Shaguar]: "our"? To [Shaguar]: so why don't you come kill them? To [Shaguar]: well? Shaguar is offline, message has been buffered.
New Engine
They showed some screen shots of a new engine. However, they have failed to update the site in some time now.
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| —- AO Fanboi on the forums |
Update (May 8, 2009): Still no graphics updates. While there have been worthless bug fix patches, and a paid point program released, there hasn't been a single announcement of the graphics update in 2009 to this date.
Paid Points!
Recently Anarchy Online obtained a paid point system. This allows people to purchase items in-game for real-money. It's Failcom's newest way in sucking all the money from their old pile of shit. They clam these items are for fun only, and create no in-game advantage. Three of these items were originally items given to people for pre-ordering expansions. Instead of keeping them to the 1337 oldfags they give them to newfags for money. Hurray!
Items Purchased through Paid Points:
- Phasefronts (Holy fucking shit, hovercars!)
- Hoverboards (Skateboards of the future, only vehicle allowed in shadowlands = advantage)
- Leet pets (Summon your very own bat or something.)
- Luxury Apartment (Biggest personal home in-game = advantage for epeen RP fags.)
- Lost Eden Special Edition Mech (Really sucks and doesn't do anything.)
- Clothes (Cowboy suit anyone? Great for fags!)
Legacy Of The Xan
Funcom is now giving up on full expansions, instead, releasing content packs for 19.95 USD/EURO. Legacy of the Xan is the first of these, and was released instead of the much-anticipated graphics update. This pack is content for max level characters (220) only. It, in a nutshell, is an area where you kill the same boring stuff, then fight another big boss. Forgetting that most people would probably never be able to get on the highest implant in the game, they released even higher-leveled implants. Hurray!
In-game Quotes
PvP Tells
[Thesteez]: your the sploit agent arent you? To [Thesteez]: ? [Thesteez]: exsploits To [Thesteez]: I know what you mean by sploit ... I m wondering why your are calling me ... [Thesteez]: you sploited, to get crit every hit, and AS caps all the time To [Thesteez]: if it's during 4 secondes every 10 minutes, yes To [Thesteez]: it's called concentration ... [Thesteez]: I have a 220 agent, I know what it is... but you crit every time, even without it To [Thesteez]: you, you re Fatchance ) [Thesteez]: yea [Thesteez]: To [Thesteez]: hehe To [Thesteez]: you know what, I ve seen you recently... with my lvl 94 ... and re-crited you
PETA would love this
Technomarine: damn dog shit all over my house Technomarine: wife has a yorkshire terrier little rat fucker who shits in my house Technomarine: im this close to throwing her dog out my damn window Technomarine: hes like 3 lbs too Technomarine: i just wanna step on him
They hate gays
[Clan OOC] Kaimuchiha: that was gay [Clan OOC] Phylicity: how dare you! [Clan OOC] Zanforce: what was gay? [Clan OOC] Kaimuchiha: i mean my duel [Clan OOC] Muraco: duel with trader [Clan OOC] Phylicity: use another word to describe your distaste you homophobic cretin! [Clan OOC] Muraco: O.o [Clan OOC] Zanforce: lol [Clan OOC] Kaimuchiha: ok? [Clan OOC] Gleereaper: Lol [Clan OOC] Kaimuchiha: lol [Clan OOC] Phylicity: im serious! [Clan OOC] Zanforce: so you are gay! [Clan OOC] Phylicity: you wanna upset the gay community?! [Clan OOC] Zanforce: hmm.. [Clan OOC] Sweetcherry: yush [Clan OOC] Phylicity: thats a really bad idea btw... they'll do you in the ass [Clan OOC] Thantori: LOLZ [Clan OOC] Zanforce: no then they'il come and hit me whit theyr leather [Clan OOC] Zanforce: leather wips [Clan OOC] Fredlocks: with no lube [Clan OOC] Zanforce: eukk [Clan OOC] Phylicity: moral of this ooc convo? dont use gay as an adjective, or you wont be able to sit down or poop correctly for a week.
Cow Fucka
[Forsaken] Gronothlis: i wonder wheres my shroud of darkest nite is [Forsaken] Grafter: in the closet with your homosexuality? [Forsaken] Grafter: <3 [Forsaken] Gronothlis: nah that homosexuality is so 2006, i rather have sex wich animals [Forsaken] Grafter: omw to oa [Forsaken] Gronothlis: male ones tho [Forsaken] Benassi: ooooh [Forsaken] Gronothlis: except doing cow into nose <3 [Forsaken] Benassi: o.O [Forsaken] Gronothlis: so it lewks meh from balls on same time! [Forsaken] Grafter: hahahahah [Forsaken] Benassi: GRAV IS A FREAK
[Team] Phylicity: Its ok Thecrowalt1, i'll spam heals like you spammed Byfour chatgroup [Team] Thecrowalt1: here ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... [Team] Thecrowalt1: like that? [Team] Thecrowalt1: :p [Team] Phylicity: yeah.... [Team] Phylicity: except my heals arent that big. [Team] Thekicker: pls not again :p [Team] Thecrowalt1: no problem [Team] Thecrowalt1: Orders From Crow! _________________________________________ Clean my car! _________________________________________ [Team] Phylicity: lol? no. [Team] Knyffen: Im a bit bugged, I dont see thecrow in my team [Team] Phylicity: then you are a lucky lucky person [Team] Thekicker: give me lead again top [Team] Thekicker: rofl [Team] Knyffen: woohoo ya
Crow at it again
[Thecrowalt1]: yooo dawg To [Thecrowalt1]: o.0 [Thecrowalt1]: i like to eat the talking babies because they cry when it hurts To [Thecrowalt1]: 0.o
Epic Raid
[Storm] Remedie: Going to raid my husband's pants.. cya later [Storm] Stormbot: Remedie logged off [Storm] Scandium: O_O [Storm] Kinkstaah: she'll wipe
[Ghostness]: aren't you an omni? To [Ghostness]: yeah [Ghostness]: then....why did you kill me? To [Ghostness]: cause you were flagged [Ghostness]: so...you kill other omnis? To [Ghostness]: ... To [Ghostness]: Did you figure that out by yourself? [Ghostness]: ur a retard....byes
Amazing doc
To [Aakedoc]: How long left on flag ? [Aakedoc]: zods? To [Aakedoc]: How...long...left...on...flag? [Aakedoc]: pls invite me [Aakedoc]: no [Aakedoc]: pls join me To [Aakedoc]: How long left on the flag? [Aakedoc]: i no To [Aakedoc]: You're not joining if you're flagged [Aakedoc]: yes [Aakedoc]: Kbeast will go to this window? To [Aakedoc]: klingon? To [Aakedoc]: Don't go wth the raidforce To [Aakedoc]: Capish? [Aakedoc]: yes [Aakedoc]: pls join me team To [Aakedoc]: no [Aakedoc]: way what? To [Aakedoc]: Because ur flagged ffs, listen [Aakedoc]: oh
Atlantean (server 1) Exposed
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See Also
External Links
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Anarchy Online is part of a series on MMORPGs. |
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