Los Angeles
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| "Come for the weather! Stay because you fail at life!" |
Drama epicenter and generally fun place to visit if you are looking for a homosexual partner. Earthquakes have been known to happen every five minutes. jesuitx and estruscan live there. The people here have a massive inferiority complex against New York City.
Contents |
[edit] About LA
Los Angeles is home to Hollywood, the place the rest of the country depends on for shitty entertainment, (Besides New York, which produces the second largest amount of shitty entertainment) and Republicans hate, since it's the only other group of douchebags the opinionless and impressionable drones of American society listen to other than them. It is also home to the infamous LAPD, known for their policy of "Beat the shit out of blacky, ask questions later". Los Angeles is also the host to many major news events, such as the Michael Jackson trial, the O.J. Simpson trial, and the anorexia of Mary-Kate Olsen, and Britney Spears' hair, weight, and vagina. This is because most of the child molesters and murderers in the US all live in LA. They do this because they know they'll be declared "not guilty" whenever they decide to rape children or kill people. This is thanks to the typical L.A. jury, which consists of common Los Angeles citizens who are all apparently pro-pedophilia and homicide.
The truth is, though, the people that live in LA love it. They also love to talk with homosexual accents. Unlike cities such as New York, people don't market I <3 LA logos on various cheap products. Possibly because anyone caught wearing an "I <3 LA" shirt would be labled as, not just a homosexual, but a homosexual with piss-poor fashion sense, and then shot. This is a sign that Los Angeles is secure with it's sexuality, (which is 100% gay) and does not need to be boisterous and loudmouthed to feel good about itself.
It's a little known fact that no one has actually been born in Los Angeles in at least 100 years. If you go into any hospital in LA and ask where the maternity ward is, the nurse will laugh, then punch you in the dick and have you removed from the premises. Everyone in Los Angeles is from somewhere else, most often from Mexico, New York, China, Korea, Israel or Iran. Most of the immigrants to Los Angeles come from the third world, and so they don't realize that not having public transportation, regular street cleaning, police patrols, and reliable sanitation are bad things for a major metropolis.
Everyone with an ego bigger than their penis must at some point move to Los Angeles. Srsly, it's a law. It was initially intended to get all of the obnoxious, self-important braggarts from the rest of the USA into one area so that they could then nuke them and not have to deal with them anymore, but they unexpectedly created movie studios and produced some lulzy films and so it was decided that maybe we could keep them around for a few more years, especially since it would be cheaper to just wait until the whole place sinks into the Pacific Ocean. This film and music industry attracts people from all over the Midwest who think that they're too awesome for their little shit towns. Convinced that they'll end up in movies or with a band that's as original as Linkin Park, they flock en masse and float the economy of Los Angeles by buying drugs and BMW's with money borrowed from their parents back in IRL-land.
It is also home to very tall palm trees. Most people agree that the palm trees grow that tall to try to escape the infectious cloud that perpetually hovers over LA, which causes coughing, itching, and the urge to surf and have butt sex with other men.
[edit] Sports
Los Angeles professional sports teams include the Lakers, Clippers, Dodgers, Rioting Niggers, Jew Media Giants, and Galaxy, all of which are quite shitty. However, sports is a big business in Los Angeles, as the population is largely Mexican, who love sports.
Most of the sports teams are homegrown. Except for the Dodgers, which was stolen from New York when LA realized they were all talentless homos who would orgasm at the thought of the famous baseball 'ass slap'. Also, the Lakers are from Minnesota, a place that actually has lakes. And the Clippers are from Buffalo, NY. Come to think of it, none of these teams are homegrown. LA stole them, like they stole everything else they've ever had.
[edit] Music
Nothing of musical interest was created in Los Angeles. Some Angelinos claim that Los Angeles was the brithplace of rap. Well, it wasn't. The South Bronx in New York City was, in the 1970's. Again, uncreative Angelinos trying to steal something that isn't theirs. Assholes. However, Los Angeles IS the birthplace of "wiggerism" which we can thank for corrupting our youth.
[edit] People
LA is a racial cornucopia. Virtually every country is represented here with a suburb of its own. The majority of these follow the formula Countrytown, or Little Country, e.g. Little Armenia, Chinatown. These small towns also have nicknames. Little Armenia is often referred to as Bignosia. Lots of Jews and Russians live here too. Despite their differences they all can rejoice in knowing they support the raping of children and the murders of innocent people.
But unfortunately, having all these people living together leads to race riots between Blacks and Latinos (because obviously the white man is not the source of their problems) in the LA Unified School District's high schools, the pride and joy of the city. Being the spawning ground of the countries most homosexual gangs, like the Crips and Bloods adds to the problem.
Los Angeles is home to Jack Bauer, star of the unrealistic and shitty TV show "24" where some dumb bitch somehow manages to get kidnapped 40 times in one fucking day. Only in LA people..
[edit] Justice System
As mentioned before, the LA justice system is currently 0 fer .* when deciding on a verdict in a largely publicized trial. Remember the Los Angeles Riots after the Rodney King verdict? Idiots.
[edit] Architecture
There are rumors that LA has a skyline. Some people have made claims that in the early morning, they have been able to see through the infectious cloud and see what is described as "four 10-story abandoned buildings" which is now known as "Downtown LA".
Though there is a rumor that there is a sign that says "HOLLYWOOD" somewhere to the north of the city of the same name, this has only been sighted by tourists from other parts of the world who do not live in Los Angeles and thus is regarded as bullshit.
