Argentina
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
People from Argentina are fucking weird. Seriously fucking weird. Every single town has it's own accent, and you can never fully speak the language, which derives from Spanish but is more offensive. It's usual in Argentina for men to date younger women, but in late years they've been pushing it, to the point where pedophillia is about to be legal. Argentina has come up with some of the sluttiest women, shemales and gayest men ever. Also, there are a few good writers and scientists, but no one gives a shit.
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[edit] Buenos Aires
Argentina's capital city, Buenos Aires, is filled with crazy bullshit. In the same square foot you may find an hero, a cat, a cabecita, a shemale and a pretty woman (who is probably underage, so don't). The city is divided in several parts, and getting lost is easier than finding cats on the internet.
[edit] The Falklands
In 1982, Argieland was under a token Kissinger-Mandated anticommunist dictatorship, with all the torture (including electrocuting of Human Science teacher's genitalia and drowning ppl in their own shit), random rape and death by crucifixion this entails. They soon realized that something had to be done to distract the populace from the random killings, though. It was then that faggoty leader Leopoldo Galtieri devised his master plan. As less wasted leaders did in the past, he would pay FIFA to let Argentina win the World Cup, and everyone would be happy. However, for no apparent reason, he went batshit insane and decided to go down to teh dockz to gather rowing boats for the Argentinian Navy to invade the Falklands.
In at least 1 month of preparation he amassed the following naval force:
Galtieri was known to smoke pot during leadership at the time, because somehow he thought a cruiser from WWII would've been able to sink 2 aircraft carriers, an entire frigate convoy, and fend off aircraft attacks. It is a fact, though, that the backward sheep-like populace rallied in support.
Noone knew how the fuck the Argentines would win, as the Falklands belonged to England, and everyone knows that the Royal Navy would pwn the shit outta anything that threatened England's sovereignty.
With his WWII cruiser and his many Amerindian powered canoes, Galtieri began his suicide mission. In 2 days, the ship finally sank, ensuing a lot of lulz.
After this, Argies pretended not to have supported the war and acted as if it wasn't their fault (tho it was) (Seriously, who the fuck attacks Great Britain?)
[edit] The Country of Balls
Ballers are the main professionals in Argentina, because balls"balling" is Argentinian for whining and crying, the sorts of things that liberals do in other nations when the neocons run the government. You can see a picture of typical Argentinans in the above paragraph picture, notice the women's purses that are a required attire for a Baller. Ballers most always wear a sporting uniform like those used to play Soccer, or "Futbol" as Argies call it because they also use centigrade.
The ones who are not ballers are cartoneros, trashy people living off trash, homeless Amerindians high on jenkem who literally feed off the garbage they pick into in the city. They are much like raccoons, but in a bigger, moar devastating scale, as they horde into the city every evening picking crap into trash bags, looking for food left over to lick off their nutritional daily base and collecting pricey plastic to sell to recyclers in exchange for Paco, that drug made of crack, cat shit and broken glass. This is exactly what Truman Capote meant when he referred to Buenos Aires as the closest thing to Tiffany's.
It is a well known fact that nobody from Argentina ever made a damn difference in this world. Even Che Guevera didn't make a difference apart from being on those gay t-shirts that college students wear to get hippie pu55y.
[edit] Peronism
This is Argentina's own brand of fascism. It started with Dictator Juan Domingo Peron, famous for having served in WWII on the German front. His ambition was to one day be able to rule planet Earth, by exterminating blacks, Jews and Squaws. Sometime after his violent rise to power, an runaway teenage pornstar became First Lady. Her name was Eva Peron. She was a mix of Squaw and Italian, as most Argies are and which makes them extremely unattractive. Even more unattractive than Puerto Ricans and other Niggers. Unfortunately Eva died soon after, in an operation that was supposed to help fix her massive nose.
[edit] Notable Argentinians
- Che Guevera
- Nazis escaped from Germany to get cover over here.
- Luciana Salazar.
- Maradona, a fat, disgusting, coke addict, soccer player (The best together with Pelé). He is also the Argentinian God.
- Florencia de la V
- Julio Cortazar
- Jorge Luis Borges
- God
- Eva Peron
- Juan Domingo Peron
[edit] Types of Argies
- Cabecitas: Argies version of niggers. They steal, do drugs, can't read and are generally stupid. Problem is, they are everywhere and the government knows this (Peron knew it) so they get payed to vote for whoever candidate offers them a future (which is just some moar bullshit). They have their own slang, which is based on fifty words repeated very fast while shaking a hand, challenging others to fight.
- Chetos: It's a complete social class that behaves fully as 16-year-old girls (even men behave like that). They think they are better so they hate everything and everyone. 99% of them have a pickup truck. They speak an abridged version of Valley Girl consisting of three interchangeable diatribes: "o sea" ("I mean"), "tipo" ("like"), "me entendés?" ("you know") followed by "a full" ("totally")
- Emos: They are everywhere! Everyone hates them over Argentina, too, because they are stupid (even more so than the other kind of Argies). Their slang is a derivation of that of Chetos, only they speak softly and add "odio todo" ("I hate everything") and "sangre" ("blood") every few words.
- Pretty girls: There are pretty girls everywhere. Srsly, everywhere. Turn around and you'll see a ready-for-ass-fuck girl in every street. Most of Argentina's women are doable, so, for the balance, most men are ugly. Pretty girls talk with their bodies, and everyone listens.
- Shemales: In recent years there has been an increase in the number of "confused" men. Their number one excuse is "I was meant to be a girl but was born in the wrong body". Bullshit, you are a man. It's a Trap! Shemale slang is terrible. They talk like women, only with thick male voices.General Argentine women should not be confused with shemales, as this is a Roman Catholic dominated country there is always plenty of hideously ugly women around.
- Regular Argies: They are mid-class people who actually think. Thing is they all have flaws, and since the country is full of shit, they give up very early and blame the government for everything. Their slang often is mixed with others for the lulz, but they usually don't talk.
- The Police: A recent survey by your mom has showed that their police force is one of the world's finest, completely free of corruption (except for shooting the odd nigger, but who cares about them, all they are is a bunch of big lipped wankers that cause trouble)
Argies Hate:
- Peruvians
- Bolivians
- Chileans
- Brazilians
- Americans
- Other Argentinians
- Azns, especially Chinese.
- Spanish
- Italian
- Ppl with money
- Ppl without money
- Mexicans
- Work
- Basically, they hate themselves
[edit] Achievements (if any)
- Utter isolation and history re-writing to the point when they think they have invented stuff that actually originated in the rest of the world decades before they "achieved" it.
[edit] Trolling Argies
Trolling members of the Argie Volk is quite unnecessary since they make a pretty good job of doing that themselves. However, for a petty flame war that guarantees fast results just point out:
- Maradona's goal against England was made with the hand.
- The Rio de la Plata (River Plate) is actually an estuary and not even the widest one (that title being hold by The St Lawrence).
- The ball pen was invented by a Hungarian, not an Argie.
- The Falklands are not called Malvinas, and they aren't never have been and never will be Argie.
- They do not have any prerogative whatsoever in the invention of the bus, the sewing machine, the identity document, the first helicopter, animated cartoons, the traffic lights for the blind, disposable syringes, soccer, the ball, caramel or god.
- Call Argies "nigger" even though black people are rare in Argentina. Americans, most of whom are black, enjoy projection.
- They don't have the best soccer team of the world, otherwise they would have won more than 2 world cups.
- The best asses in the world are Brazilian, not Argentinian.
- Their music bands suck ass and are just poorman's rip-offs of other north american bands.
- They are even moar hypocritical and retarded than most [americans] (an amazing feat in and of itself), and they don't know how to fucking drive a goddamn car for shit.
- Just tell them Perón was BFF with Hitler.
- They get very upset and possesed by gorilla spirits when u remember them his worst lose in all soccer history 5-0 against Colombia playing as locals.
- Also get fucked very fucked up when u remember his fat shitty god maradonna also now as maradroga admit argentina got pwn by Colombia aplaussing the Colombian team wich was totally high during all game
EPIC BUTTHURT!!
