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This is why we can't have nice things

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Nice things are a type of profit usually acquired through purchase with jewgolds. Unfortunately, all nice things are highly susceptible to cancer and other bullshit. As a result, nice things are damn near impossible to have on the Internets. You may also be prevented from having nice things because you are a fat fucking loser.

Nice things are easier to come by IRL because of the real world's dependence on jewgolds and not lulz. However, nice things in the tubes make real-world nice things look like that boil on your ass. Anonymous is the only one who appears to have nice things on the Interweb.

Arguecat, pictured above, is the spokesperson dedicated to pointing out assholes on the Internet and has made appearances over 9000 times. If you should ever find yourself plagued with Arguecat, the only escape is to become an hero. Unfortunately, some people do not understand Arguecat's power and continue with their faggotry, depriving all the Internets of nice things.

[edit] Reasons Why We Can't Have Nice Things

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This is why we can't have nice things

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This is why we can't have nice things is part of Classic Solid Chanspeak
          a series on Memes Fleeting Failed Not a Meme
Click one of the six categories to expand that category.
Time-Tested
Classics		 4chan Stencils • A Cat Is Fine Too • A winner is you • An Hero • Baby fuck • Barrel roll • Bayeux Tapestry • Bel-Air • Bitches Don't Know • Bix Nood • Brian Peppers • Bridget • Bunny Pancake • Buy A Dog • Candlejack • Catnarok • Caturday • Ceiling Cat • Centipede filled vagina • Chin-chan • Chuck Norris • Cockmongler • Copypasta • Creepypasta • Delicious Cake • Demotivators • Desu • Diabeetus • Divide By Zero • DO IT FAGGOT • DO NOT WANT • Duckroll • Epic Fail Guy • Epic Threads • FGSFDS • F40PH • Gaijin 4Koma • George Zimmer • Goodnight Sweet Prince • HA! HA! Guy • HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS • Happycat • Happy Negro • How Do I Shot Web? • I Am In Your Base Killing Your D00ds • I Came • I Has A Shuvel • IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER • INTERNET HATE MACHINE • I See What You Did There • Over 9000 • ITTY BITTY BABY ITTY BITTY BOAT • JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR! • LOL WUT • Longcat • Massimo D'Alema • Milhouse is not a meme • Moar • Mudkips • Nevada-tan • O RLY • Pedobear • ???? • Pool's Closed • Profit • Raptor Jesus • Rickroll • The Sandwich Chef • This Looks Shopped • Waha • WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY • Yaranaika • ZA WARUDO
Ordinary
Memes		 404 Girl • Awesome • BIKECAT • Blockatiel • Borscht • Broccoli Dog • Cactuar • Card Crusher • Chris Hansen • Dicks everywhere • DOUBLE NIGGER • Doug • DSFARGEG • Garfield • ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER • Frosted Butts • Gaijin 4Koma • Gentlemen • Happy Snake • House • Hypnotoad • I am Legend • I GOT NORTON! • I'd Hit It • INVISIBLE... • IS IT CAN BE HUGS TIEM NOW PLEES? • Is This Battletoads • It's a Trap! • Jam It In • John Locke • KILL IT WITH FIRE • Law 4 Kids • lolicatgirls.swf • Machine Code • Man The Harpoons • Mario Drawings • Milk Bags • MSPaint Relationship Thread • Nanomachines • Not This Shit Again • OM NOM NOM NOM • Party Hard • PLEASE RESPOND • Pretty cool guy • Push Butan • Put Shoe On Head • Rape Clock • Shitting Dick Nipples • Slowpoke • Speedycat • Spengbab • Steel Hearts • Teh Rei • That Fucking Cat • delayclose.jpg • TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL • USB Cable • Vespene gas • Weegee • What is Love? • Wrong Location Nigger • X? In My Y? • YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG • Zippocat
Jargon and
Textual Memes		 Bring Back Snacks • But who was x • Bump • Clippit • Combofag • Drawhore • Fixed • Fukken saved • Grey Area • HA HA HA, OH WOW • I don't think you have an X. Enjoy your Y. • in before X • lurk moar • Never forget • NO U • Nobody Cares • Oh exploitable • Pic Unrelated • Posting in an epic thread • Relevant to my interests • Rules Of The Internet • Sauce • Stick It In Her Pooper • Stop posting • Verbose Thread • Weeaboo • WHARRGARBL • Where is your X now? • X is not your personal army • X Y is X
15 Minutes
of Fame		 360 kid • 4chan Battlecards • 4chan Gaming • 4chan Gold Account • Apathy Dog • Approval Guy • Audio • Beat A Rod • Because of Parkinson's • Child Abduction • BRB, CHURCH • brb, compromised • brb, soup • Brinks Home Security • Dental Plan • Dynamic Entry • Extreme Advertising • Feels good man • Fishing Cat • Flea Market Montgomery • #fortune • Ffruustration • Gary Oak • Godhand Edit • Goofy Time • Grin Reaper • Guess The Meme • Hi-tech military software • Holy Grail • I DIDN'T EAT THAT FUCKIN SANDWICH OR THE TOILET THING EITHER! • I Has A Bucket • I need a price check ... • I TOUCHED HIS PENIS!! OMG • Josef Fritzl • JxcelDolghmQ • Time for a Dicking • Chocolate Rain • Large Hadron Collider • Leave Bond to me • LINK MAH BOIIIII • LOLCHAIR • Mavica Sprite • Michael Phelps • Mordor • Nod Flenders • Octocat • Oh No You Didn't • Operation Falcon Punch • Operation LIONCASH • Power Wrist • ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH • SFW Porn • Shamwow • Steve Irwin • Stingray • SUP DAWG • Swirl Face • Switch police on • Tapestry Dog • Tyrannosaurus Reich • Uninformed Lisa • VTEC Just Kicked In Yo • What is a man? • Why So Exploitable? • Why So Serious? • Woll Smoth • Zach Braff Quotes
Close
But No Cigar		 Apples Bear • Asianface • Big Dog • Bill • CAPS EAGLE • COMBO BREAKER • Cool your jets • Dick Butt • Drama Prairie Dog • FUCK YEAH SEAKING • Furseiseki • The Fury • Gaston • GET • Get into the Loop • Hai guy • I AM BEOWULF! • I don't roll that way • Jack Spicer • L-L-LUNAJACK! • Living On A Prayer • Matt Gunderman • Navid • Nyoro~n • Objection! • oh shit i'm sorry i meant • Redtube Roulette • Rita • SHIT IT OFF • Shortcat • Skittle Nigger • Smoking Crab • Staredog • So cash • TAP LADEDANS FISTON! • THE BEST • UNITINU • WHEN I WAS • You Laugh, You Lose • YOU'RE A BIRD!
No.

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