Arizona

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All these people are from Arizona and stick their hands into vaginas for a living.

ENVY THEM!

Arizona has:

Mostly Mexicans
Too many laws
Too many Mormons
White people that stay in the sun too long without sun block and have a nasty white-trash look
People that drive terribly, speeding at the wrong times and going too slow at the wrong times, and always tailgating
Old people that hate anyone young, judging by how they vote, anyways
Meth labs constantly blowing up
People 40, 50, and even 60-years-old that blast pure bass thumps on their home and car stereos wall-shakingly loud like they're teenage thugs

Spanish and Ebonics are the chiefly spoken languages in Arizona, and white people are severely outnumbered in most of the state, except for the small colonies (aka Truck Stops, Scottsdale, Anthem) where the whiteys and trailer park trash gather together. Basically every city in Arizona is a Mexican ghetto surrounded by white/trailer park trash. What's scarier is that it's IRL. All Arizonans own guns, even toddlers and the mentally ill/retarded, and most households actually contain more guns than people.

1 Climate
2 BORDERline
3 Wildlife
4 Cardinals

[edit] Climate

Arizona is known for being really fucking hot... and therefore most of its residents are batshit crazy. Because of this, nobody wants to live in Arizona, except for the rich fucks who live near Flagstaff, which perhaps is halfway decent. There are also rich snobs in Scottsdale, but they're batshit crazy, too; Scottsdale is a shitty place to live. Every year it's getting FUCKING HOTTER because of the increasing population of liberals. Their constant bitching, smoking weed, and human rights protesting is destroying the ozone to the point where the sun is literally shitting on their faces. Arizona is not supposed to even have liberals; they're supposed to only have conservatives, mainly retired people who vote for things. Things like eliminating vision coverage for the poor so that they could build a new football stadium for a team that hasn't been to the Superbowl in at least 100 years.

[edit] BORDERline

Time to get a job at Walmart

Arizona is also known for being the main destination for border hoppers, also known as "Mexicans". Being right next to the border, they cleverly plot out a suicidal mission to cross the FUCKING HOT desert in DAY TIME to get jobs at the local Walmart and be a successful part of society. By doing so, they piss off the trailer trash class of remaining whites for taking their jobs. With this suicide mission to the land of the free, the State of Arizona and the liberals band together to welcome these parasites with various water stations to encourage friends and family to come along for the Pilgrimage. And people wonder why the numbers are increasing!

[edit] Wildlife

Arizona is home to a wide variety of fucked up wildlife, such as: The rattlesnake, Javelina (A pig that shoots ass clouds at people before mauling their babies), Furries, Alice Cooper, three species of cacti, and a whole host of plants that fall into the "deadly pointy things" category.

Also, Arizona, specifically Tucson, is home of the legendary batshit crazy tinfoil hat designer. The only tinfoil hat that protects you from aliens, governments (esp. MONGO), and LJ dramaists who wish to steal your thoughts.

[edit] Cardinals

Generally considered to be the worst team in football, Arizona houses the Cardinals. No team has been so bad on a consistent basis as this steaming pile of shit. The Cardinals have tried everything to make themselves better - getting a new stadium, getting a new quarterback, sending their players to Iraq - except for practice. Anyone driving by the Cardinals $100 billion stadium can see Cardinals players circle jerking each other. They paid for that stadium by doing away with vision coverage for the poor.

Also, you can be pulled over, even if you are not a car, and even the passenger gets in trouble.

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