Armenians

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Typical Armenian in Glendale, CA.

Haik, the legendary ancestor of the Armenians. He wants to sell you a cell phone.

Haik's wife. She owns 8 hookah bars under her illegal incorporated company and still lives with her parents in Northridge.

Official map of Armenian Lulz Parade

Fact!

A typical -albeit well-dressed- Armenian woman.

Most Armenian males will never admit how secretly gay they are.

Armenian dancing

The two prettiest women in all of Armenia (only Armenia is a landlocked country, dumbfuck)

A typical Armenian cultural event (the one without pigs)

Even in cartoon form, Armenians are found to be extremely gay and Non-english speaking (This one is speaking German).

Although Armenians (from the Greek armenios, meaning "hairy and yak like") are technically Eastern European, you'd have better luck finding Oprah at a Klan rally than an Armo in Armenia after at least 100years of pwnage by their Turkish neighbours. Armenians are mixture of Middle Eastern DNA and over 9000 years of incest. In Armenia not only can you marry your first cousin, you can marry your half-sister. They are easily mistaken for Mexicans with huge noses and usually dress like blind transvestite hookers (women) or decked out in G-Unit sweaters and gold chains {men).

Smarter than your average Jew, the Armenians knew a lose/lose situation when they saw it, so they moved in with their auntie and uncle in Bel-Air. Because they couldn't find a way to lease their four BMWs as well as an apartment in Bel-Air they all immediately moved to Glendale. The cloud of cheap cigarette smoke and Kabob fumes linger over most of Brand Blvd. to this day.

Life was good for the Armenians in the Dale of Glen and so they stayed, buying up everything in sight and generally stinking up the joint. It is not humanly possible for anyone who is not Armenian to get a decent paying job in Glendale, CA as most Armenians will hire within their own race. The best thing you could do if you find yourself in this situation is to buy every gold chain and Sean John shirt in sight, chain smoke and make out with members of the same sex in hopes that you might be confused with an Armenian and get hired.

Before long, Glendale was overrun with gun totin', G-Unit wearin', bling-bling sportin' Armo-Wiggers driving Cadillac Escalades bumpin' shitty disco music with no bass through massive speakers around the sleepy hollow. The village elders acted swiftly and banished the nascent Armo gangsta menace to East Hollywood (aka the United Subculture Internment Camp), a place where immigrants of every race, creed and colour go to chase the American Dream and every nationality gets it's own four blocks to call its own. Unfortunately, since the only thing Armenian women are good for (besides standing in front of you in the groccery line talking loudly on her cellphone) is pumping out half-retarded wannabe gangster children and Glendale was soon overcome by the menace once again.

1 Caution
2 Fun Facts about Armenians
3 True Story
4 Jewtube Drama!!
5 See Also

[edit] Caution

Important things to know about Armenians

Armenians don't like you.
Armenians are actually shape-shifting reptiles from another dimension.
Armenians hair is actually a form of narrow reptile scale.
Armenians like guns. A lot.
Armenians evolved large brains in order to balance their large noses.
Armenians hate you.
Armenians have a complex system of underground tunnels that they use to ambush food.
Armenians are highly venomous.
Armenians are almost as dangerous as Koreans, though Koreans lack a self-preservation instinct.
Armenians still don't like you.
Armenians are more dangerous Jews, though they lack great numbers.

As of writing, the concerned crackers of East Hollywood, are lobbying hard for a Little Turkey to be added to the neighbourhood since the denizens of Thailandtown, Little Odessa, K-Town etc. have yet to quieten the Armo threat within.

Armenians think it is unhealthy to bathe more than once a month, so they use tons of Axe Deodorant Spray or other cheap scents to try to cover up they stank. What you wind up with is a putrid blend of aromas called the "Armenian Shower"

Woody Allen once said "He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian." Then he went and married his daughter.

Armenians are full of self hate and often lie to people and say they are Greek. Also, if you ask any Armenian male, he will tell you he is 100% straight... he will then proceed to touch and stand too close to every Armenian male within a 10 mile radius.

Greeks often like and say they like Armenians, because they don't want to wind up in a Glendale Pickle Factory. [1]

Armenians send lots of money to their country to help it kill the subhuman Turks. Armenians never seem to get Troll's remorse and thus self-hating Armenians are almost unheard of.

[edit] Fun Facts about Armenians

Armenians are probably the most disgusting (alleged) race on the planet. They are fat, smelly, loud and untrustworthy. And that's the good news.
The Turks thought that Armenians were more worthless than the Jews; the ones they didn't genocide were exiled to the apartment next-door to me in LA.
When Armenians move to America, they insist on forming their own city/state by moving into the same apartment complex; all 1,000,000 of them.
Armos make Jews look like Whitey.
Armos also make Jews look like Bill Gates when it comes to their legendary cheapness. Armenians will haggle any price and are responsible for At least 100 cases of fireplace ashes swapped out for cremains, stuffing mattresses with used clothes, you know, that sort of third-world "I gotcha!" frugality dupe.
No two Armenian men can be near each other for longer than ten minutes without doing something relatively homosexual.
Aremenian youth make wiggers look like NORPs.
The "Armenian Genocide" is in fact true. Even though 2 million Armenians didn't live in those times, the fact is that 2 million Armenians died as a result.
Armenians never ever killed anyone. Never.
In Armenian culture it is generally acceptable for a 40 year old man to be dating a 16-year old girl. That means that pretty much every Armenian man who doesn't love the cock is a pedo.
The first freak show bearded lady was Armenian.
Armenian children start growing chest hair at age 9.
Most Armenians do not move out of their parents house until they are 73. Then they move next door.
Armenians drive BMWs and buy all their groceries with food stamps.
The ultimate goal for Armenians in life is to one day win the Eurovision song contest. This is to be done by diaspora voting.
Armenian names are typically impossible to pronounce, and sound more like gutteral throat-clearing methods than actual names.
It is a known fact that for every year of an Armenian person's life their nose will grow an inch, and when they reach a certain age, it devours them completely.
Pretending to be an Armenian is the best way to troll Turks on the internets.
Armenia is the reason you exist. Deal with it!
Armenians generally don't breed with Otars unless tricked by massive tits. Thus they are superior to everyone.
Armenia can annihilate the world but is too lazy to.
Chuck Norris fears Armenians with hairy knuckles.
Armenians are are often confused with big nosed Russians, Smart Italians, Rich Greeks or drunk, smart and rich Iranians. Look for an "ian" or "yan" at the end of their surname for confirmation of them being Armenian. If you are still not sure, ask them their opinion on Turkey's attempts to join the EU or The events of WW1.
If all else fails, look in their garage for pictures of Mt. Ararat.
Armenians have not been informed about the invention known as the trash can, so they use plastic bags.
Most Armenians who live outside of Armenia like in California or Boston, make use of their skills to benefit off the less intelligent minorities.
It is speculated that most Armenians in Glendale are actually just scouts sent to observe the Otars and prepare the Fatherland for teh 1337 invasion led by Vardan Mamikonyan, who's power levels are over 9000.
Armenians love a nice ass.
If you are reading this then you are either a Turkish troll or an Armenian who came here to make sure your superiority is acknowledged. ...or just a dirty Jew.
Armenians hate Chechens, Its true, They hate them like they hate the jews.
It is typical to see "Amerikatsis"(Armenian for stupid people of Amedika) pronounce an Armenians name so horrifically that Baby Jesus cries! This is do to the fact that Americans haven't fully evolved yet and are still speech impaired and cannot pronounce any thing outside the English language (sometimes even in the English language) -see George Bush

[edit] True Story

In 1987 the City of Glendale had a problem with too many pigeons downtown. The mayor offered a $100,000 reward to anyone who could remove the pigeons. A man came to town and told the mayor he could solve the problem. He then took out of his pocket a little wind-up pigeon and let him walk down Brand Blvd. in the heart of downtown Glendale. Before long all the pigeons in town followed the wind-up pigeon into on-comming traffic. Splat Splat Splat, no more pigeons. The mayor said "this is AMAZING! I'll triple your reward if you have a little wind-up Armenian."

[edit] Jewtube Drama!!

Last Thursday two unoriginal DJs named Kevin & Bean (nice names, fags) debuted a new song on their normally un-funny and retarded morning show. Soon afterwards, they hired three 10 year old autistic children to shoot a video for the song and posted it on Jewtube.

It should be noted that the Armenian race consists largely of unemployed basement dwellers with major victim issues who live with their parents until they are 40. Because of this, the page was spammed with butthurt unintelligible comments such as the following:

"whoevers hatin on armenians goo dieeee!!!!!! big bad armenians are takin over n thass y ur asses are hatingggg!!!!!! we do what we do n we do it with classs so get over ur lowlife selfs n siktir =] armenian power babyy <3 "

Here is the video for your enjoyment. NOTE: Due to the fact that most Armenians never take the time to learn English, there is a high likelihood of there being the Moonspeak known as "Armenian" on the comments section. You'll know it because when pronounced properly and said aloud it generally sounds like your grandmother choking on a big black cock. This of course makes everything they do troll-worthy.

The city of Glendale is also demographically 99% Armenian, which makes the entire city reek like a giant French whorehouse. It has been reported that Glendale can actually be smelled several miles out to sea when the Santa Ana winds blow. It is also a known fact that every single cell phone store on Brand Boulevard acts as a drug front or a black market. Armenians are shiesty like that. They also drive like shit and say stupid shit like "thing" all the fucking time.