Iran
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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| Iran is now an enemy of the United States, and therefore anybody who befriends them will have their terrorists destroyed and their oil removed. |
Visitors note: Soon to be non existent.
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[edit] Iran
Iran is a nation full of people who do not like to be called Arabs, as they are in fact Persians. The reason for this is that it hearkens back to the birth of the Persian people. You see Persians are actually retarded feminine Arab babies who are queefed out of their mother's snatches after failed abortions. This is the reason they are so prone to terrorism, drooling, and bestiality. In fact, bestiality is the national pastime and over 73% of all Persians have given head to some form of animal in their lives.<ref>The Book of Mormon, p.231</ref> This unique characteristic coupled with frequent human-animal conception makes it incredibly difficult to tell Iranian women from goats. (applogies to the goats). The president of Iran, some camel fucker named Muhammad probably, gained his popularity on the massively successful TV Show, Who Wants to Teabag a Badger? It is common for Persians to blame everyone else, especially the USA for its problems but in truth, everything bad that comes out of Iran (which incidentally is everything that comes out of Iran) is actually a result of fermented sperm build-up in the frontal lobe region of Iranian people. The reason for the build-up is the endemic animal sex in which Persians engage, coupled with the fact that Persians are born with only half of their brain matter intact, as a result of the abortion attempts and the velocity of their birth-queef.
[edit] History
Persia was a superpower at least 100 years ago, but in the wake of some severe pwnage at the hands of a Greek army led by a SPARTAAAN!!!, the nation's fortunes declined and are only now beginning to recover after years of colonization and assorted beat-downs. It also hasn't helped matters that Iran is made up of Shiite Muslims, and thus cursed by their own god,Allah, since everyone knows that all true authority comes from the caliphate of Abu Bakr and is of course not reckoned by way of the lineage of Fatima, retards.
The above is a textbook example of what happens when you give a terrorist a computer and ask him to be humorous or clever. He begins talking about some faggot named Abu Bakr, which sounds like a cab driver or a fluffer at 200 man gang bang. Couple this with shitty grammar and some paeans of praise to the well-known dildo-jammer, cum guzzler and also prophet Muhammad, and you have the exact reason why so many more of these mud people turn to suicide bombing each other at market places instead of the infidel troops 100 meters away. Take the walrus balls out of your asshole and the donkey grundle off of your face and castrate yourself. All Iranians should do the same. (The paragraph directly above, likewise, is a textbook example of what happens when someone who fails at detecting sarcasm manages to wander over to ED from Uncyclopedia, presumably on his lunch break at the American Enterprise Institute.)
- These 3 paragraphs are a textbook example of a typical prime ED textbook example article writing, where 3 ED editors each adds his own version below another one rather than editing it. This paragraph is a textbook example of a Wikiedian refugee nerd moron trying to write textbook examples.
- LOL
- LULZ
- ???
- PROFIT
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- LULZ
- LOL
In reality Persian history is very short. The country was founded as an international dump for anal slime in 1946 by a coalition of proctologists. After realizing that Persia was a queefing-ground for aborted Arab fetuses, they figured there was no better place to start butt-pee repository. This is a major part of the reason Iranians are so brown. Dunk a placenta coated downer in a tub of liquefied poop and sweat, allow to bake in the sun for 4-6 hours and boom!, you have an Iranian.
Incidentally, Freddy Mercury is of Iranian descent. Really makes you think, huh?
Persian cuisine is some of the most disgusting you will find on the planet. The national drink is Persia is actually camel semen, which they mix with water and more semen to make a refreshing cocktail that they will drink. It is common practice to inject the mixed semen of many animals directly into the eyeballs so that Persians always remember what they truly are, the bastard children of an inter-species fuckfest.
[edit] How to Identify an Iranian
- Has a huge, kike-like nose.(Albeit somewhat smaller than the ever-so-famous Arabs
- Drives a modified camel-hatchback with rims. Also drives frozen dildo-shaped turds into his ass.
- Smokes cigars, penises, and crack.
- Gets all butthurt when your country provides medical care for its abdicated tyrant
- Holds you hostage for 444 days or 333 days or something and Jimmy Carter is powerless to help you
- Is hairier than bigfoot.
- Is proud of the fact that Freddy Mercury is from Iran and has no idea that Freddy Mercury is gay, lol
- Is about to blow up Israel
- Is dead from a gunshot wound and mounted on your wall.
- Wears track suits and gold jewelry and has a unibrow, kind of like a über feminime version of an Armenian
- Is jerking off into a Koran because he doesn't know how to be a real muslim since his not an Arab
- Is living in the storage room of your local convenience store which his family has taken from the Chinese
- Is busy face-fucking the prophet Muhammad who actually hated Persians and had his descendants invade their country.
- Overly mestizo looking with often slanted eyes resulting from high admixture with Mongols].
- Masterminds terrorism in Iraq, Lebanon, Palestine and Uranus(yes, literally)
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[edit] Famous Iranians
- Bob Villa
- Adam Rozanski
- Crocodile Dundee
- The Thundercats
- Captain Planet
- Muhammad Ali
- Joe Camel
- Shahiar Ardalan
- Yousuf Islam
- Hitler
[edit] See Also
| Iran is part of a series on Islam
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Key Players Countries Traditions Infidels |
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