Atari
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Atari is a video game company, as well as an entertainment system console invented in 1972 by Tony Stark from a box of scraps while on holiday in an Afghan cave. During the time of it's reign in the arcade and home entertainment industry, Atari was the bad ass system of the day; and is credited for pioneering ideas such as cartridge games, healthy socialising, the cultivation of stylish facial hair, and indoctrinating children into a hate-filled culture of sexual violence. It's good reputation has (since 1984) been ruined by Corporatism, Hasbro, and current owners Infogrames who, after nearly losing all of their money on their retarded ideas, finally were able to bounce back by making a shit ton of Dragon Ball Z games to sell to millions of screaming G4 fans. Atari's name is continually ruined by said fans who insist on wearing clever T-shirts with the Atari logo and captions like "Kicking it Old School" or something equally stupid.
Pong
One of the first to be released for the Atari, this black and white blatant Bulletball rip-off provides sheer minutes of entertainment.
Atari 2600
HOLY SHIT SON, 7-BIT GRAPHICS?
The Atari 2600 was the first gaming console to utilize a microprocessor, meaning games could be written by anyone and stored on programmable cartridges. This paved the way for future consoles and also blew the market wide open for third party vendors who were now able to release their own games without having to provide a proprietary console of their own. It was so expensive that IRL funny niggers like Chris Rock couldn't afford until years after it was released. The original price of the unit was around $300US jewgolds back then, which is like $1200US today.
In the mid-80's, many, many third party companies developed and released cartridges for the Atari 2600. Lulz ensued when what was called the "Great Console Shakeout" occured, bankrupting, and thus putting out of business, many of these third party vendors. The real lulz was in the fact that the third party people had to jump through many legal hoops in order to even sell their shitty carts, going as far as to take their fight to the Supreme Court to win a decision thazt said that they could utilize the same technology to make their games compatible with the Atari 2600.
So, these third party companies spent precious jewgolds to survive, but in the end, they really, REALLY needed those jewgolds in order to survive the "shakeout". FAIL.
E.T. and Other Blunders of Wonder
E.T.
During its prime time, the folks at Atari figured that based on the success of the Indiana Jones game, that making E.T. would be an even better idea! Little did they know that their idea would start a trend that now causes every video game based on a movie to be doomed to a mediocre-at-best existence. Steven Spielberg could care less about video game ethics, seeing that it meant more money for his fat Jew wallet. However, the initial deal was not enough money, so he Jewed away four months of precious programming time to work out a deal that "worked out for both sides." With the rather large loss of time, the programmers were crammed into a 5 month timeframe to release the game by Christmas. Keep in mind that at the time, an Atari game took about 1-1.5 years to program. The lack of time produced a product by Christmas, which is now widely regarded as the all-time worst video game ever made. Though challengers have appeared such as Superman 64 and Halo, one would have to make a damn good case for any game being worse than this one. The initial sales did not seem to be those of a terrible game's, but shortly after the holiday season, folks lined up at their local toy stores to demand their monies back for the game. Three months into release, the company was stuck with close to 70% of the released cartridges. They had absolutely nowhere to put these plastic boxes of fail, so they rented out a landfill in New Mexico, and buried close to 3 million copies of E.T. Yes, the game was that bad. It's damn near impossible to review, since all you really do is walk around and try to piece together a phone to call home (original, eh). If you manage to put the phone together without falling into a pit, being caught by the two sources of a.i opposition, or simply chucking the hunk of shit out of your nearest window, then you can consider yourself a winrar. Congratulations, you wasted precious moments of your life beating a terrible game! As bad as it is, it carries a relevance to internet culture seeing that ripping on it makes aspiring video game reviewers believe that they are funny and good at what they do, when in fact they are simply a bunch of mouth breathing fuckwads.
A commercial that captures the brilliance within this game
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