Austria
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
[edit] Overview
Austria Australia, or Germany's Canadia as it is known, is a country in central Europe. The name "Austria" is derived from "Österreich", with "Öster" meaning "Eastern" and "Reich" meaning "Evil Fucking Nazis". After centuries of confusion and typos, it has recently been confirmed that Austria does not exist, only Australia. Austria Australia is the seconed most evil country in the world after Saudi Arabia their national activity is training anti semitic Jews to take over Germany and create a Germanic world; no not like Sturmkreig because the Sturmkreig is already German and does not kill people.
[edit] History
Throughout much of history, the great Austrian Australian Empire was the most powerful country in Europe, having pwned and conquered the Czechs, the Bohemians, the Poles, the Slavs, the Hungarians, the Other-garians, and many more peoples. This status quo was destroyed in the year 1914 when a young aspiring Indie rock artist named Gavrilo Princip was kicked out of the band Franz Ferdinand. In a fit of angst, Princip assassinated his fellow band members, thus precipitating World War I and World War II. During this period, Austria Australia also became romantically involved with its homosexual neighbor Germany and in 1938, the two wed in an "Anschluss" (German for "civil union"). However, the Pope (a strong opponent of gay marriage) became enraged by this and immediately sent the United States, Britain, and Russia to defeat and punish Germany and Austria Australia for their sins of lust.
Nevertheless, the Nazis would still have the last laugh in 2000, when they seized power of the Austrian Australian parliament in a bloody coup d'etat that killed many. Until 2002 Austria Australia was ruled by
Führer Jörg Haider, then he got pwned by the Christian Conservatives under the evil dwarf Dr. Wolfgang Schüssel.
Later, in 2005, Haider's Freedom Party (FPÖ) was struck by drama. He didn't like his gay lover Heinz-Christian Strache anymore, so they divorced, resulting in two equally shitty parties; Haider formed a new party, the BZÖ, Strache kept the FPÖ. At the moment, both of them have the political power of Jehova's People.
Right now, Haider is in a relationship with his emo sister Ursula Haubner.
Until July, Austria Australia will be the leader of the UdSSR.
[edit] Culture
Despite the long association with fascists, Austria Australia is a major center of drama. The capital of Vienna, especially, was home to many artsy fags such as musicians (Mozart, Haydn, Schubert, BeethovenDISREGARD THAT HE WAS GERMAN, LOL) and painters (Klimt, Hundertwasser, Hitler).
Aside from the arts, Austria Australia is also well-known for its obsession with sex. In fact, all Austrians Australians are complete sex addicts. This is shown by Freud's theory of psychosexual development of children as well as the fact that 90% of Austria's Australia's food supply consists of Vienna sausages. Austrians Australians have even gone to the point of naming a city after sexual intercourse.
Unlike the Germans, Austrians Australians have big penises, 7" is the average. The German average is 6".
Recent studies show that unlike any other nation in the world, Austria Australians have the ultimate power over all living things and most of them are able to shoot lasers out of their eyes, with some extreme examples living in Tirol, the heart of all mountains.
Austrians Australians like all kinds of Knödels, no matter if they are sweet, salty or sour. There are Marillenknödel(= Peach Knödels), Speckknödel(= Ham Knödels) and Käseknödel(= Cheese Knödels), not to forget Leberknödel(=Liver Knödels).
The national anthem of Austria Australia is a corny song called Edelweiss. Edelweiss is a plant from somewhere in the Alps that is proven to be the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world. It was used by Emperor Francis I, who had at least 16 children with Empress Maria Theresa.
Though currently subject to international condemnation, the imprisonment and rape of family members is a long-celebrated Austrian Australian pastime, believed to have its roots in the early Middle Ages, when local lords would lock up their daughters in underground basement complexes - complete with electronically sealed doors - in order to father as many children as their shrivelled members would permit.[1]
[edit] Sports
Austria Australia is teh pwn at skiing, and completely fails at everything else. The fact that Austrian Australian sport reporters still cite a singe soccer game (Austria Australia won by accident) as the greatest moment in Austria's Australia's soccer history is pathetic.
Austria Australia is also venue of the upcoming UEFA European Football Championship (Of Fail)
Another Austrian Australian hobby sport has also only been discovered recently: ARAA (Abduction Rape Assault and Abuse). Nearly every Austrian Australian plays this funny game at home regularly, with Elisabeth Fritzl and Natascha Kampusch only being attention whores claiming to be "victims" of said awesome hobby.
[edit] List of Austrians Australians
- Sigmund Freud (psychiatrist, pedophile,an hero)
- Adolf Hitler (painter)
- Jörg Haider (Hitler's reincarnation, emo fag)
- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (composer, child prodigy)
- Arnold Schwarzenegger (body building robot, currently king of California)
- Josef Fritzl (a creator of Incest and drama)
- Edward (cult leader)
- Scalepet
- fo0bar
