Ayn Rand

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Ayn Rand

Born in Soviet Russia, Ayn Rand rebelled against the system like any angsty teen and wrote a lot of crappy literature that caught on with college students, 16 year old girls, and other selfish, egotistical gaylords and sociopaths. Her sci-fi religion, Objectivism, caught on like wildfire among those who had piles of money and wanted to keep those piles and create newer, bigger piles while they were at it.

It is important to note that Alan Greenspan tapped that as well as the fact that Ayn Rand popularized the notion that all women want to get raped and that it's perfectly normal and rational to have rape fantasy-type sex fantasies. She also had no sense of humour, as attested by the fact that she never, ever laughed.

Ayn Rand, seen on radical tee shirts promoting rape

Typical libertarian

1 Objectivism
2 The Fountainhead
3 "Atlas Shrugged"
4 "Anthem"
5 And the Jew will inherit the earth
6 Famous Objectivists
7 Nonfamous Objectivists
8 Virtual Objectivsm
9 External Links
10 See Also

[edit] Objectivism

A less succesful version of Dianetics, it consists of a "technology" to make socially ackward basement dwellers into self-righteous zealots. In her own words:

My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute.

This is crap. She hated communism with every centipede in her vagina, because she knew that when you gave people a chance to be fair in all things they'd wait until you weren't looking and steal everything that wasn't nailed down and on fire (On-line communists will argue that capitalism causes this greed, because they have no experience of owning anything anyone else wants). That's why we have the godly government which is composed of people with a higher nature than us and who shit ice cream and piss champagne. Despite this knowledge, she expected all men to be a combination of Indiana Jones and Thomas Edison, fighting looters like gold-crazed Nazis and single-handedly inventing practical new alloys AT THE SAME TIME. Those seeking to become heroes through Objectivism, by contrast, end up as failures who wish Rush wrote songs about them. Her book "Atlas Shrugged" shows that she's a staunch libertarian on all issues except labor, because unskilled workers were put on the Earth by a God she doesn't believe in to be used and abused by the upper class and then discarded. Proletarians aren't human, they're scum - making her "philosophy" a less honest version of Nietzche's.

As an economic theory, objectivism can be accurately modelled using cheese triangles.

[edit] The Fountainhead

Rand's first book was "The Fountainhead", a novel that was part rape-fantasy romance novel, part glorified masturbationfest towards people who build buildings, and part condemnation of the dumbing down of the American people. The story involves a down-and-out architect turned rapist and arsonist that no one will hire because he doesn't build according to the tastes of the dumb ignorant mob. During the course of the novel, he rapes a rich girl, who becomes obsessed with him but shows her love by marrying everyone BUT her obsession because she thinks that if they stay apart and remain miserable, it means that they are better than the chattle of humanity. Was made into a movie, which was infamous as far as Rand throwing a tantrum to force the screen-writers to keep her long, incoherent speach at the end when the architect-rapist-arsonist speaks to a jury and successfully gets acquitted by playing the "I blew up the building because I had the right to do so as an individual" card.

Face it. Howard could never, ever, EVER have survived in the real capitalist world.

[edit] "Atlas Shrugged"

Atlas Shrugged is a 1000-page brick of a book whose supposed climax is a 60-page speech by the main character, who doesn't actually show up until page 600. In it, Rand outlines her utopia: men are men, women are subservient, maniacal bitches, and everybody who has ever disagreed with her, faltered in their agreement with her, or just not agreed hard enough dies a horrible, slow death after the fall of civilization.

The plot goes something like this: America is ruled by socialist overlords who have everyone turned into lazy drunken Russians and broke everything until John Galt, a robot from the future, comes back in time to save computers from not being created. At the same time a nymphomaniac has a crush on the android, and then they have robot sex in the subway. It takes 1200 pages to sum it up.

The opening words of this book are "Who is John Galt?" ParkingStones crossed out the words "Who is John Galt?" and replaced them with "Dude, Where's My Car?" The meaning stayed pretty much the same.

It's more useful as a doorstop than actual reading material.

[edit] "Anthem"

In contrast, her novella by the name of Anthem is written on three tissue papers. Ayn once used them to clean her period blood off of her cat's mouth. She was so inspired by her kitty's explosive tongue action that she immediately wrote every word that came to her brain. The result was Anthem.

This is great to read while fucking a cheap whore, since both are really men in disguise.

[edit] And the Jew will inherit the earth

Objectivists imagine a rational world where everybody would mind their own rational self-interest and people wouldn't troll each other but work individually to achieve unparalleled wealth. This means creating more A.I., who would naturally decide that people are not as rational as robots and should therefore be exterminated for having seized the undeserved like the socialist leeches we are. An alternate hypothesis is that, the pursuit of wealth being their highest principle only after Israel's right to exist, it can be concluded that the Jews will inherit the Earth.

[edit] Famous Objectivists

[edit] Nonfamous Objectivists

Jay Naylor
alitheia - template Randite sociopath
objectivism - sadder than furries
furjectivists - two bad things that go worse together.

[edit] Virtual Objectivsm

The Objectivist Institute has a presence on Second Life, where it is located at Marco Island 87, 34, 23 ("Your Galt's Gulch away from home"). The sheer immensity of the faggotry that goes on there is suspected to defy most traditional methods whereby faggotry is quantified.