Bam Margera

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1 Bam Margera
2 Vam

[edit] Bam Margera

~~SO HAWT~~ Fucktard.

Bam Margera is a camwhore who skates and stars in his own reality shows on MTV.

~~Awesome Skateboarder Awesome Actor Just Awesome!~~

~~Most Powerful Man Under 30 In The World Friends With Ville Valo (Also Just Awesome) His Wife Is WHOOOAAAA!!~~ HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS.

[edit] Fun Facts

   *Bam is a regular on the show jackass, where he likes to have everyone plug him with gold dildos and pube beads. srsly.
   *He dresses like a gothfag and cries when he's around [snakes.
   *People actually think he is bad ass, same with the shitty music he listens to.

[edit] Bam Advertises Himself

Like many of the world's most hated thiefs, Bam wanted to steal an icon that he would use to promote himself unto the masses. The heartagram (which looks like an upside-down Jew star with boobs sprouting from the top) was taken from HIM because Bam happened to like that band. Also, he believed that by taking the logo for his own use, people will think he's an actual member, but he's just a poser. Amirite?

[edit] Viva La Bam

This what the bastard really does for a job

Last Thursday, there was a TV show about Bam who staged his retarded antics to the horror of his illegitimate parents. Every episode seemed to have followed this basic plot:

Bam comes up with some asinine scheme: "Okay, on today's show I'm gonna make my dad Phil run around in a diaper and it's gonna be soooo badass!"

He then drags all his friends and family into said plan: "Hey guys, when Phil gets home we should check and see if he crapped himself. And then, we're gonna make him eat his shit!"

And on occassion, there will be a special guest: "Holy shit it's some wrestler no one ever heard of! We'll have him watch Phil eat his own shit! I'm so awesome!"

Obligatory breaking of objects: "Now I'm gonna break some windows!"

As long as all of this criteria is met, the producers have done their work.

At least 100 episodes of Viva La Bam were produced until the show became unprofitable just to make way for more contrived faggotry. This meant that Bam had to find other ways of making himself popular once again, even if he had no other choice than becoming an hero.

[edit] New Shit

Early this year, Bam got a new crap show on MTV that is a ripoff of the Newlyweds called Bam's Unholy Union. Even though folks who like Bam will happily watch his little antics, some argue that the show and the marriage will eventually fail, leaving Bam to either find another half-assed reality show and vagina to plug or find alternate forms of work. There's lots of opportunities out there.

[edit] Wigger Theory

In theory the psychology of Bam could come from him being a wigger in denial. This in practice could mean that he has confused himself by being obviously getting molestered lots by someone else, probably confused that they were a wigger themselves. He expresses this by taking on the persona of a total faggot (see skater above). However he could just be confused and doesn't know he is an asspie. Basically in wigger theory Bam was molestered by a wigger and has become one, because he is a batshit insane asspie with ADHD. User was too busy fapping to 4chan pics to type something that made sense.

[edit] Vam

"Here he is about to daterape his celebrity crush, Ville Valo. Notice the beer and the placement of Margera's hand."

"SRPRZE BUTTSCKS!111"

It is a popular belief among many 16 year old girls interested in Homosexual Relationships that Bam and the frontman of the Finnish band HIM, Ville Valo, (the guy he stole the heartagram from) are secretly in love. While this may be true, there is not enough evidence to confirm that Margera really is a fudgepacker. Ville, though, has openly confessed his love for both teh vagina and teh cock. ~~Whether he pitches or catches is still a mystery.~~ He likes it up the ass.

"Vam" is the clever result of some genius noticing that, if you insert part of "Ville" into "Bam" (GET THE PUN?), you get "Vam." This is not the unquestioned name for this pairing. From this idea have also sprouted varios seeds of faggotry, such as "Dugera" (Bam x his hobo-friend, Ryan Dunn).

Fanfics are easy to write.

Start with a cheesy plot line.
Have one man or the other masturbate to the other.
Have the opposite walk in and see them.
Badly written sex scene.
????
PROFIT!!

It is common for a 16 year old girl to become obsessed with this pairing for over 9,000 years, get bored, and move on to some ~~sexier~~ more faggoty pairing.