Krautchan
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| |
| Foundation | May 1st, 2007 |
| Major Boards | /b/, /a/, /s/ |
| Epic Wins | |
| Website | krautchan.net |
Be aware: Krautchan is full of WIN. Also, it is made of pure AWESOME.
Krautchan is being overrun by newfags, immigrating and infected with aids German-speaking 4chan users.
ITS LIKE GERMANY WRAPPED-UP IN AN IMAGEBOARD!
Krautchan is yet another attempt a successful defunct attempt of establishing a German Imageboard where you meet friendly Germans that welcome you in a friendly manner. Typically, there are around three two different people active, so don't expect too much traffic. Things change every time the Russians decide to provide it with content. While most German boards went into extinction, Krautchan experiences a stable growth, only being challenged by furry and real imageboards.
Krautchan was founded back in 1945 by moot's grandfather after he unfortunately had to leave Germany, because his career took a little downturn.
Krautchan has also taken part in Project Chanology 2008. (which made the community split up into cancer and internet-elite)
Contents |
[edit] Structure
[edit] Boards
Like other Chans, Krautchan offers a variety of boards the world will never need, confusing its never-growing userbase of four Nazis and two chatbots. Most of these boards are blatant rip-offs from other chans, while some are the result of overall consent.
- /b/ - Home of Bernd, this is an experimental board better not to fuck with. Please support it with depictions of beauty and human superiority.
- /a/ - Official Weeaboo hideout.
- /c/ - A board about Precision Engineering and all the in Germany banned vidya-gaems. Show your E-penis here or stay the fuck out, you have been warned.
- /d/ - Here be drugs. Since it's a German board, you will only find plenty about natural byproducts.
- /e/ - Post images of your foot and discuss several kinds of eating cum.
- /fit/ - The Board Bernd talks about never doing any sport. Some post their Fanfics about doing sport.
- /k/ - Rarely visited Board with a lot of potential. All kind of creative shit goes here.
- /l/ - A place to discuss literature.
- /m/ - Music. ZOMG file sharing!
- /p/ - Board to post your ramblings about politics.
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/ps/ - Photoshop template circle jerk.deleted because Germans prefer to steal memes and imagemacros rather then creating them by themselves. -
/t/ - Since Germans love nature in general, they also have a board dedicated to animals.deleted because Germans hate furries, the environment and the world in general -
/w//t/ - A board aboutweaponstechnology and weapons, usually made of Fail and AIDS. - /tv/ - A board dedicated to movies and television programs Bernd refuses to watch. As if there were any notable in Germany.
- /h/ - If your mom doesn't want you to look at /s/, this is your board of choice. However, please note that as of today it is major consensus to put all Pr0n that won't fit in /s/ into /h/, because there are only people that either want to resurrect this dying board or don't care at all.
- /s/ - The only good thing about Krautchan.
- /kc/ - Where to ask the mods to create stupid new boards nobody will ever lurk on. Or where to politely note the beauty and smart functionality of the underlying software.
[edit] Administration
As of today, there are three handsome guys to be blamed for the cancer that is the existence of Krautchan.
- Shaky - Seems to host the site on his private server in a country yet unknown.
- Tsaryu - Primarily known for shitty emo anime-oriented poems he posted all over the net at least 100 years ago, ask him about these for the lulz. Knows how to moonspeak.
- Der General - Keeps an eye on the superior Desuchan software Krautchan is running on.
[edit] Subculture
[edit] Bernd
While descending from Anonymous, the average Krautchan user is special. He is called Bernd (a common first name in Germany that begins with the letter B... you see? /b/ernd, haha, those funny guys). In general, Bernd is much more helpful, patient and polite than Anonymous (as long as you post in a language other than English), and quite proud of his own raids against international corporations, Animexx and evil nazi scum. Bernd isn't Anonymous without reason: due to his superior intellectuality, and because anonymity is IRL b&hammerd and punishable by death in Germany (the creation of lulz in general is a punishable crime in Germany, resulting in either Abschiebung, prison or death of the poor soul), Bernd likes being identifiable and stays in IRC all day and night, creating a sense of family among his kind.
Since at least one user of Krautchan reportedly has AIDS, Krautchan can proudly call itself an imageboard officially full of AIDS now.
Sometimes, the ghost of Wengel haunts Krautchan, telling everyone to "contribute, 4chan-style"; thank god, the mods are usually fast enough in their response to handle those incidents.
Please note that the use of "hacker tools" and anonymization, as well as mentioning "Jews" in a derogatory way or posting anything that portrays teh Nazis in a good light, is a v&able offense in Germany. It is not yet known whether the Germany-based users are paranoid about this. The Germany-based users are paranoid about this (as if modern Germans aren't paranoid enough by default), and should be. The whole site is monitored, so enjoy your partyvan.
The known mortal enemies of Bernd are Schäuble, "Ammischweine", INUVASHUN and freedom
[edit] Memes
Because of Bernd's innate inability to produce something worthwhile, the whole site consists of fail/AIDS and forced memes usually stolen from other chans. The latter includes making memes out of Krautchan users - srsly, wtf, I can't believe how creative those Germans can be - what should give you an idea of how "many" users actually lurk there. Well, what should this "memes" section here be good for at all? There never was anything noteworthy on Krautchan and there will never be. In fact, in many cases they even TRANSLATE the memes they steal into their hideous language, taking the whole issue up to a whole new level of faggotry. GTFO. SRSLY.
The only original meme known to originate from Krautchan is a funny image-macro of a parrot with the text HALT DIE FRESSE.
Also, list of the memes:
However, using memes connected to Germany when trolling Krautchan is always a good idea to artificially increase its post count.
- Post pictures of Hitler.
- Always let your ramblings be translated by babelfish, otherwise Bernd could understand what you want to say to him.
- Use babelfish more than once. Try translating from English to Japanese, back to English, and then into German.
- Make sure to attack the low self-esteem every Bernd experiences when using the internets.
- Read the article about Germany and make extensive use of copypasta. Efficiency is the key.
[edit] Gallery
 Not funny. |
 The only original content ever produced on a German imageboard |
 Oh yeah, these guys |
 Krautchan's macros are superior! |
 Inferior version of the parrot one |
 Typical results of faggotory |
 Lastest movie by Krautchan's /b/. Holy shit. |
|
 Bernd's Girlfriend Kotono. |
 Krautchan's old, fat and ugly camwhore. |
