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Blu-ray
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| BRACE FOR IMPACT!!1 |
A pointlessly proprietary and expensive video format from the makers of UMD that will most likely be remembered as "Betamax 2: Teh Quest for Moar Lulz." Sony is trying to force consumers to own a blu-ray player by integrating it into the Playstation 3, bumping the price to $9999. Too bad Sony does not realize that 80% of us are not spoiled wiggers who own HDTVs; thus making Blu-ray a pointless waste of money to the casual consumer.
Contents |
[edit] Specs
Blu-Ray's storage will be available from 25GB to about 200GB. Game developers have rejoiced, knowing that with the extra space (and the insane horsepower of the PS3) they no longer have to spend time to efficiently code games for file size or FPS. They also don't have to compress files anymore. Developers can be as sloppy as much as they want and get away with it (Because 13 year old boys think bigger file size and minimum system specs = better games).
The format battled against the HD-DVD, which was called "The Fight of the Formats You Didn't Buy."
Blu-ray won however you probably will not buy a disk in you life.
[edit] Lazers
Blu-ray disks use blue lazers (shock!), where DVDs and other future old media use red lazers. Blue lazers are more expensive to make because blue lazers are clearly more awesome than red lazers. The blue lazer diodes are made of fairy dust instead of concentrated shit. This is why Blu-ray disks cost at least 100 dollars each and why nobody can get the drives.
[edit] How the Laser Diodes Are Made
- Find fairies
- ?????????
- Make diodes
- ?????????
- PROFIT!!!11
[edit] Java Software Support
The whores over at Sun decided it would be a damn fine idea to put Java into all Blu-Ray players. So now Alan Turing can pwn both your browser and your TV! This basically just adds moar fail to the drives, which increases their ripoff factor.
[edit] Country Codes
Your favorite anti-piracy bullshit, now with new region codes!
| A/1 | USA, Canadia, Mexico, Uruguay, Paraguay, Korea, Japan |
| B/2 | Europe, France, Middle East, Africa, Australia, New Zealand |
| C/3 | China, India, Russia, Vietnam, Tibet |
| BINGO | Bat Country, Ghetto, Bethesda |
This shit also has new "features" that allow Big Brother to send your player to Bantown. If you're rich or retarded enough to actually buy a Blu-ray player, you should probably hack that shit for maximum piracy and win. Fuck the man!
[edit] Companies that Have Jumped on the Blu-Ray Bandwagon
- Sony (duh)
- LG
- Panasonic
- Hewlett Packard
- Phillips
- Halliburton
- Dell
- Disney
[edit] How YOU Can Help
- Don't buy a PS3.
- Don't buy a Blu-ray player.
- Don't be a wigger.
- Troll and harrass aforementioned degenerates if sighted IRL or OTI.
