Boston
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
[edit] About Boston
Faggotry and trollability are deeply rooted in Boston dating back at least 100 years when, in a raging hissy-fit, a bunch of Bostonians dumped a bunch of tea into the Boston Hahbah to protest being pwnt by the King of England, who was taxing they asses for great justice. This tantrum became known as The Boston Tea Party however, since Boston is ethnically entirely made up of drunken, lazy Paddys, they never drink tea and every day is party day.
Shortly after they'd slept that bender off they started whining and whining about not having won a World Series because of The Curse of the Bambino, which refers to the complete and utter failure of their baseball 'team' (the Boston Red Stockings) to win a World Series Championship after the team's owner sold their star player, the legendary Babe 'The Bambino' Ruth, to the New York Yankees so he could finance the Broadway musical "No, No Nannette".
This ended up being almost as embarrassing as the terrorist attacks of 1/31, (nevar forget), because after winning 5 of the first 15 World Series Championship titles, they went to shit without The Babe whilst the New York Yankees franchise went on to become American sport's most winningest nigras of all time. They also became the Yankees' bitches for life [1]. In conclusion, 80% of Bostonians are faggots and the remaining are pedo Catholic priests.
The current World Series tally is Red Sox 7: Yankees 26, -their 6th title being courtesy of the Yankees who finally let them win in 2004 in part to stop all the Bostonian hot air from adding to Global Warming. Ironically, this was a sad day for the citizens of Beantown, for now they had nothing left to moan about -besides not having won a World Series since 2007 because the vastly superior New York team spend more money on better players than them; of course, they always neglect to mention that it's only $100 moar. They recently won AGAIN in 2007, but it was probably because they were playing THE ROCKIES. The most pathetic team EVER to make the playoffs.
However, on June the 17th, 2008 the Boston Celtics won the NBA title against the LA Lakers. In celebration the Boston Police Department vowed to restrain from arresting the (now victorious) team members for one day. The majority of Boston fans point to this victory as proof of their city's supremacy in the sporting world. They FAIL, because no one cares about professional basketball unless Michael Jordan or Rape is involved.
They occasionally moaned about a huegly expensive Urban Renewal project to overhaul the city's mass transit system called The Big Dig which -in part- created great lulz from time-to-time for everyone in the rest of the country when parts of it fell on people driving into the still under construction tunnels. This took place because greedy capitalists decided it would be cheaper to just glue the bolts in with epoxy than to pay a big burly, smelly union worker to twist them into nuts on the other side of the concrete slab with a wrench.
But it wasn't until that fateful day of 1/31 (nevar forget) when the collective, pent-up unfunny and Faggery Daggery Doo of a city and a populace so constantly and terribly wronged, reached critical mass (lol) and the city went ballistic over a two week old prank by a couple of hairy performance artists.
Such was their fury that they accused them, the Cartoon Network, the Aqua Teen Hunger Force and the New York Yankees of being FOO (Friends of Osama) operatives trying to make The Big Dig fall down even more. They then said "OMFGZ!!! WHBT by The Curse of The Bambino!!!."
In conclusion, 87.5% of Bostonians are faggots and 12.5% are pedo Catholic priests who crave boy cock.
[edit] Fun Facts
- If you hang up Light Brights all over /b/oston, you will be found for having WMD's
- how the fuck can you lose to a potato?
- That Boston is just likeThe Departed, everybody gets shot.
- The roads in Boston were created by the Jews at least 100 years ago for the lulz. The Irish have tried fixing them so that they don't suck, but they're always too drunk to do any real work.
- Bostonians love local sport heroes David "Big Fati" Ortiz and Randy "Gotta Keep 'dat Bitch In Line" Moss, but would call the police or just go for the shotgun in the closet if they saw them in their neighborhood.
- Bostonians plan to hold a massive rally on the steps of Boston City Hall when Tom Brady and his boyfriend, Matt Light, are officially joined in holy matrimony by Mayor "Mumbles" Menino this summer.
- Boston is home to the "World's Only Living Abortion"
