From Encyclopedia Dramatica
braumsgirl26, aka goldendragon26, selenafan27, and bscfanc, is either a troll or mentally challenged. She haunts customers_suck, bad_service, and c_suck_snark, picking fights in order to show off her incredibly witty and devastating insults.
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You know that bad storm Hurricane Katrina? that was sassy_wench and inbred girl aka hotclaws throwing a tantrum cause the zookeeper didn't let them take a rubber duckie into the hippo pool with them at bathtime.
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| —braumsgirl26, http://braumsgirl26.livejournal.com/3906.html ICE BURN
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Braumsgirl has four kinds of insults:
- ur fat
- u wear diapers
- ur a dog
- ur a baby
To be fair, this isn't much different from the arsenal of the average ED user, but Braumsgirl can be identified by the incredibly convoluted and repetitive structure of her insults. She can barely understand what she's saying, so she has to repeat herself and circle back in order to achieve full comprehension, giving her work the disjointed quality of schizophrenic ramblings. Her lack of cognitive ability, of course, leads her to believe that anything difficult for her to understand must be utter brilliance.
[edit] What Is It?
In January of 2007, Braumsgirl posts to customers_suck about a bad experience she had at work: she was
verbally accosted by a stranger, which made her cry, and her manager accused her of scamming for a free meal. She says she only works two hour shifts, two days a week, and has a four hour commute. Not only that, but her stepfather actually drives her out and back. The mod, pezstar, starts deleting comments to freeze drama.
Later that day, she posts a remembered suck, wherein she has trouble waking up at 11am and cries because a manager she liked had been fired. Someone teases her about crying, to which braumsgirl26 can only say, "Mew??!" Then someone gives her a present because it is her birthday. Yay!
The weirdness gets written up on c_suck_snark, someone links her to it, and she posts this:
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so theres this two year old retard lianzim74 that seems mad because while I have my two hour job and manage to get my work done and still care for my co workers.........
it is busy trying to learn to do basic things. Like act human.
I have to bust ass to not give up hope since I got stuck with a operation that was suposed to give me more years at work with those I cared for (and more hours) but it revered itself because I did too much too soon. Granted I could never work the all day everyday shifts of my managers even if things had turned out right.
And baby lianzim74 is all mad because even if it ever grows up the only job it'll be able to do is work in one of those sheltered programs.
Or maybe just doing simple tasks will be 'job' enough for it.
I can see it now.... a few years from now when lianzim74 is 30 years old now and still living with mommy and its 40 brothers and sisters cause mommy can't keep her legs closed.
lianzim74's Mama : Baby mama will give you a whole cookie if you'll get up and walk down to the corner and bring your sister home from her job.
lianzim74 : Me walk!!! *gets up sloooowwwlllyyyyy and toddles down to corner*
lianzim74's mama : good job!!!
lianzim74 : *returns 11 hours later* here sissy ma-ma! *points to inbred dog*
lianzim74's mama : No. I know I called your sister a inbred dog but..........nevermind good try.
lianzim74: Me did good! *drool*
how do you like it fucktard?
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| —wat
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This is, perhaps, the textbook example of her labored attempts at an insult. It's clear she worked hard, and is proud of herself for her viciousness, and yet TL;DR.
[edit] She Really Loses It
Just a few days later, Braumsgirl posts about how a woman threw a fit at her workplace while she got paid to play in the playground.
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At 1pm I clocked out and once in the van I let the tears fall. Mock and Snark me all you guys want but I felt bad. I'm not going to be made to feel bad because I have feelings and I felt bad for K.
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| —braumsgirl26
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Once again, people question her story and she lets fly:
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then again maybe I should ask trinity1986 since they know everything
oh btw I'm being sassy. But it's cool I've always thought animals less intelligent then human beings would be mad that humans are better and smarter then they are and trinity1986 proves tht point by being mad that I'm better then it is.
| „
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| —braumsgirl26
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Might want to take a bath then to see if that helps sassy_pumpkin that is if you even know what a bath is or how to take one. Since you already don't see to know what a life is.
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| —braumsgirl26
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how do I set posts to humans only? wait nevermind that if I did such a mean thing then half of you couldn't even reply and show off what sorry spoiled crotch drippings you are. Or the fact you have no lives and mommy and daddy do everything for you so you have no clue what jobs no matter how big or small are because you don't have one! I'm day I envy your 'lives' except for
1) I'm human and humans don't envy those lower then them.
2) I would rather word for my food/roof/money/clothes/shoes
3) While you're all sitting around waiting for preschool to start again I'm actually doing something with myself.
4) When my parents grow old and die my thought will be 'I'll miss them' your thoughts will be (if you are even capable of thinking all by yourselves) 'Oh no who's going to wipe my ass/feed me/shelter me/give me everything I bawl for!'
5) see point #1 if you even know what a 1 looks like.
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| —braumsgirl26
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Then, out of fucking nowhere:
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Don't blame how god damn ugly you are on others who are better looking then you.
that was to the OP I'm not taking any shit anymore. pezstarx has a problem with it then it can just say so to my face a good five seconds before I punch it's teeth out.
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| —LOOK OUT
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[edit] Death of Braumsgirl; Enter the Dragon
Soon afterward, she starts to die, in standard LJ fashion. Presumably resurrected as goldendragon26, she continues to bitch about customers_suck.
Then, she has a birthday and becomes selenafan27. Her new target, bad_rpers_suck, calls troll; she calls them babies. Fucking harsh, dude.
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That was your fat mama showin off her pussy coat cause she's too fat to reach there to shave
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| —selenafan27
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News flash you stupid assfaced retards
Hate to burst the bubble that a combination of being shortbus riding retards and mommy and daddy allowing you to live in such a fantasy world. I really do. But you see darling retards
rpg is not for real it's just pretend! it's made up! transformers aren't real neaither are kitsunes harry potter sailor moon or any other made up cartoon book or what have you.
SERIOUSLY GET LIVES AND TAKE YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR DIAPER WEARING RETARDED ASSES
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| —FUCK YOU I'M A SAILOR SCOUT
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The BRPS users laughed her off, but they shouldn't have; after all, her neighbor is a cop who has a list of IPs from brps and is going to do...something.
In February of 2008, bscfanc posted a sad tale to bad_service and gaia_online: Gaia Online would not take her fistfuls of money.
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Gaia sucks
Gaia sucks! They won't let me buy monthly letters from them because my phone number is in use and I live in an apartment and can only afford to donate maybe $50 or a little less a month. They're being really rude about it. Yeah my phone number is in use it's MY PHONE NUMBER! I USE IT! What did they want me to do make one up?! Morons and this is a year after one of the mods got mad and banned me for wanting to put some of my items on a backup account they said I was doing it to avoid them. WTF? Losers.
THe mod I talked to even told me that gaia didn't want my fake money or my phone scam shit. WTF?!
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| —bscfanc, http://community.livejournal.com/bad_service/1570116.html and http://community.livejournal.com/gaia_online/1797995.html
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Where she gets $50/month to spend on Gaia when she only works four hours a week is anybody's guess. The better question is, who the hell spends $50/month on little hats for your avatar?
Members comment with variations on LOL WUT -- you know it's bad when other Gaia users are calling you an idiot -- and it gets posted to a snark comm here (locked), but nothing much happens until a week later.
Then, she comes back.
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I'm snarking all of you for being a bunch of crybaby losers! Oooh wah wah wah you whiiinnneeeee she can afford to donate 50$ my allowance from ma ma is only 2 cents wah wah wah!
Guess what you sorry excuse for humans NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE WORTHLESS POOR IDIOTS! YOU WANT TO DONATE? STOP WINEING FOR MA MA AND DA DA TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOUR WORTHLESS ASS! dO IT YOURSELF! gET A JOB BEYOND GOING POTTY IN THE BIG BOY TOILET ALL BY YOURSELF!
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| —bscfanc, missing the point
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At the moment this poster's identity is not yet confirmed, but since the trademark preoccupation with scat and infantilism is present, as is the inability to spell or form proper sentences, there isn't much doubt.
