Brian Williams

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Brian Williams showing off his crooked face

Apple uses Brian Williams as a marketing puppet

Brian Williams showing how many inches he can currently take

Thought to be a distant cousin of Swirl Face, Brian Williams is an anchor for NBC Nightly News with a crooked face. He spends most of his time being unfunny and pissing people off. Many may wonder: how can you be a news anchor and have your face shown on national television every day with such a fucked-up face?

[edit] How it Got That Way

Several theories attempt to explain this monstrosity. The ones that have been proven false are crossed out.

• He was born that way WRONG!
• He got his face caught in a throttling wood-chipper.
• He pissed off a tough guy, and they beat him up.
• He got surgery to make it like that because it looks 1337.
• He got bit by a radioactive spider, but instead of being able to shoot jizz from his wrists, his face became crooked.
• Bigboxbear sat on his face.
• Ahotwheelscar forgot to put on his diapers and shit on his face.
• Royce Gracie smashed his face in just for the lulz.

*Chuck Norris gave him a roundhouse kick to the face so strong it ripped a whole through the space-time continuum which distorted his face to the point seen in said picture. Chuck Norris jokes suck

• dammit,somebody already used the Chuck Norris thing
• he divided by zero.oh shi-!!!
• He tried to suck two nigger cocks at once
• His face is imitating his dick.