Brisbane

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Brisbane, CA

Brisbane, also known as Bris-Bantown, is a shining example of post-modern urban gentrification (commonly known as a yuppie shithole) located in Australia. It is known by yuppie leftard locals as Redneck Wonderland. This city was named after the famous right wing feminist explorer Sir Thomas Brisbane, who had a stroke after seeing the topless natives fucking each other.

[edit] Politics

The mayor of Brisbane is Campbell Newman, but no one cares about this except people who listen to talkback radio, who are by definition fucktards. In fact most of the locals still think that they are still run by the former mayor: Lord Jim. Lord Jim is a former Catholic priest who was excommunicated for ~~having a consenting intimate relationship with a mature adult woman~~ adultery, which of course is a mortal sin in the Catholic Church. Fuck knows why he took up politics if he was getting laid regularly.

To increase economic growth, the new draft city plan proposes that it becomes a "Special Economic Zone" and protectorate of China. This of course is very popular with the leftards and Aborigines who think that they will get better human rights under a Communist regime.

[edit] Suburbs

Some of the suburbs of Brisbane have native Aboriginal names with special meaning:

Indooroopilly: Creek of leeches,
Yeerongpilly: Creek of mosquitoes,
Woodridge: Major bogan hangout,
Beenleigh: Wiggers have great pride living in this wasteland,
Eagleby: Abo Central,
Kingston: Consists of wiggers and Abo's,
Bulimba: Teenage girl with finger down throat,

and lastly

Bracken Ridge: Home to all sorts of inbred, paint sniffing scum.

All of these names suggest that they lived in such a goddamn paradise that they get pissed at white people for giving them something to drink.

The suburb of Sunnybank and surrounding areas, such as Macgregor and Robertson, is notorious for being a province of China. It is advisable that you stay away at all times as you will either get lynched or raped by the azn gangs in the car park of McDonalds (this is highly likely because there are about a million of them in the one suburb), or you will be hit by cars over 9000 times, since no one here can actually drive.

Should this happen, you will doubtlessly be a victim of raep, as the most horrendous social faux pas in Sunnybank is to damage the azns pimped Nissan Skylines.

Brisbane's main street is Queen Street, also known as FUCKING QUEEN STREET.

[edit] Famous people

Brisbane is also noted as the birthplace of such notable exports as:

PowderFinger
The BeeGees
The HeeBeeGeeBees
Air Supply
INXS was not from Brisbane but Michael Hutchence was a total embarrassment to the entire fucking country because he was a sick fuck

Needless to say, they are all shit bands and the city's music scene has been suffering ever since.

The Veronicas a pair of twin emo cockgargling coke whores (seriously, ask anyone who went to school with them) who are part time magicians that specialize in making themselves disappear and transforming themselves into a pair of pegs or stick insects. Their performances involve one twin trying to scream louder than each other, since they are both inbred retards. Most of their songs consist of crying and broken hearts . . . since no one listens to their music they should now become an heroes.
Axle Whitehead not actually from Brisbane; therefore, a poser and all-around anal barf.
Kayla
Home of everyone's favorite kiddy-fiddler Dennis_Ferguson