Brokeback Mountain

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

A scene from Brokeback Mountain

Another scene from the movie.

A spoof of brokeback mountain. See: Gloom

[edit] Summary

Brokeback Mountain aka Brokecrack Mountain is a movie about two cowboys who have sex for no reason one night and then all the sudden are in gay love with each other, even though this has never happened in the history of everything ever. It started a fagdrag between catholics and Hollywood.

If you are a heterosexual male, the only reason to see this movie is if your girlfriend forces you to. Make sure she promises you a blowjob up-front.

[edit] Plot

Here are the main outlines of the plot:

• After World War II ended, two faggots took refuge near a penis shaped mountain called Brokeback. It is there where the two guys filmed their first gay porno and sold it to Ebaum's World for twenty dollars Ebaum's World stole it..

• Eric Bauman allegedly masturbated furiously while watching the film. After viewing it, his colleagues in the offices next door claimed that he shouted, "Greatest. Film. Evar!!"

• Later that day, Mr. Bauman uploaded the video to his website. He then claimed that he directed the film and should get credit for everything that appeared in the film. The film was constantly downloaded and received numerous accolades from critics and fans alike.

• Near the end of the film, while waiting to receive his academy award, it is revealed by the two gay cowboys that Mr. Bauman did not have any involvement in the making of the porno. The ultimate irony comes when Mr. Bauman goes to jail and stars in a new gay film called Prison Rape with Bubba.

• If you ever use the term "I wish I could quit you, X," where X equals a noun, you have failed at comedy, and should thus go to work as a writer for one of the network late shows. This line is not so much old meme as it is totally unfunny.

• Example of Brokeback Mountain style gayness (click)

[edit] Origin

Brokeback Mountain is a 134 minute movie by Ang Lee based on a 15-page short story by Annie Proulx (Not to be confused with Ayn Rand, whose stories are of a similar gay magnitude). As a result of the small size of the short story (and Heath Ledger's dong), the movie is filled with lots of bullshit filler material. Only four things from the original story remain in the movie:

1. Gay Sex
2. Cheating on Wives to have Gay Sex
3. Jack Twist gets beaten to death with a tire iron and left to die.
4. Sheep
5. ????
6. PROFIT!

Jake Gyllenhaal has a very convincing performance wherein he takes it in the ass from Heath Ledger, who lubes Jack Twist up with lots of spit. Heath Ledger also wishes he knew how to quit Jake Gyllenhaal, even though his name is Enis, which sounds like anus, which immediately makes him gay.