California

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search
Californians like to believe that they were once an independent republic (lulz). They were, but for about a month in 1846 after they seceded from Mexico.
Californians like to believe that they were once an independent republic (lulz). They were, but for about a month in 1846 after they seceded from Mexico.
Official State Photo of teh Governator.
Official State Photo of teh Governator.
California...the FIRE & BRIMSTONE state
California...the FIRE & BRIMSTONE state
One of the suspected arsonists
One of the suspected arsonists
A road sign in San Diego, California warns of Mexicans crossing
A road sign in San Diego, California warns of Mexicans crossing
Collyfornia (formerly California, before Ahnold) is the lamest state on the Left Coast of America and home to many serial rapists and their bastard offspring. Most Americunts take up residence here.

Home to Hollywood in the south, San Francisco in the middle, and Canadia in the north, California has the nation's first action hero governor in Arnold Schwarzenegger (aka The Governator) - an Austrian, Republican bodybuilder (Jesse Ventura, that lame wannabe in Minnesota, does not count).

Contents

[edit] History

California was founded in 1849 by Carlos de California, the son of royal parents Juan de Mexico and Pilar de Puta. The area was originally created to serve as New York City's garbage dump. That privilege has since moved to New Jersey. Nothing interesting happened until it became the official haven of emos, hippies, wiggers, and wapanese, and been annexed by Mexico.

[edit] Government

The governor of California is Arnold Schwarzenegger, a cybernetic organism (Living tissue over a metal endoskeleton), who calls the state "Collyfornia". He is the first governor EVAR that has had movies made with him as the star actor. "I'll Be Back!" While good at acting, he sucks at being governor. His latest approval drop was due to his making bestiality in California illegal.

[edit] Why Californians Are Idiots

It's the largest state in the United States that nobody gives a shit about, having the most revenue of them all. But when you compare the large population to the density to a state like New York, the population isn't anything special. It's home to many famous serial killers and child molesters. Also, nearly the entire state's population is the result of a century-long breeding experiment involving Oklahoma White Trash, Third World borderjumpers and hippies. Those who live in California are pussies who just can't take a little cold, and are also idiots as they voluntarily put their lives in danger with earthquakes, mudslides and other horrible disasters. There are also many lakes you can go to and have fun mountain climbing and jetskiing, among other fun ways to kill yourself for ever visiting this horrible state.. As mentioned below, the only thing good about California is that half of the state is warm. The other half wishes it were warm. Cities like San Francisco prove this by installing fake palms trees everywhere. If you want to go to a state with mountains and beaches, go to New York.

To all the Californians who edit this article: Please don't wast your time. I'll just paste the original article back once your done. So go do something more constructive, like giving your father a blowjob. Fags.

[edit] Why this state doesn't suck

1. The weather (SoCal only). That is, if you like the weather constantly being as hot as Satan's anus.

[edit] Why this state does suck

  • Enough emos to create a website.
  • Sympathy for people who are here illegally. DISREGARD THAT I'M A NORP
  • Birthplace of Hollister and every other "trendy" clothing line (Although their parent companies are most likely incorporated in the East).
    • Birthplace of paying $200 for a pair of jeans.
    • Inspiring high school students that its cool to dress like a metrosexual.
  • "We're better than the rest of the country" attitude. (New Yorkers also have this attitude, but theirs is justified).
  • Thinking lead, asbestos, and other toxic things are especially toxic in their state. See electrical appliance's manual.
  • Greater concentration of people everyone hates, who also happen to be rich.
  • Hippies. And lots of them.
  • Californians in general.
  • Full of gangs, which every white kid from suburbia thinks they be reppin'.
  • Compton.

[edit] Economy

The United States loves California for it's entertainment. However it hates California for EVERYTHING else. While California leads the way in revenue, it still takes a back-seat to New York's very own Wall Street in terms of overall wealth and capital trading.

[edit] All in All

For at least 100 years California has been home to pollution, child molesters, pornography, gays and Mexicans. Until recently it was home to the tech industry, which has since moved to India, knowing that sooner or later California will sink into the ocean, where it belongs. In 2006, IT WAS RANKED THE 8TH GAYEST STATE, with 4 of it's cities in the top 10. It was also ranked the DIRTIEST STATE IN THE UNION, as 5 of it's cities dominated the top 10 "Dirtiest Cities" list on Forbes.com. All in all, if the gangs don't kill you, the wildfires will. If the wildfires don't kill you, the earthquakes will. If the earthquakes don't kill you, the mudslides will. If those don't kill you, you'll probably just commit suicide to end your horrid life in this pitiful excuse for a state. Stay far away.

[edit] Notable Californians


This article is a stub. You can help by expanding it.


The United States of Encyclopedia Dramatica
States Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | Delaware | Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas | Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine | Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire | New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota | Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania  | Rhode Island | South Carolina | South Dakota | Tennessee | Texas | Utah | Vermont | Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming
Not a
state yet 		Australia | Canada | China | District of Columbia | Eurabia | Iraq


[edit] Notable Californians


This article is a stub. You can help by expanding it.


The United States of Encyclopedia Dramatica
States Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | Delaware | Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas | Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine | Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire | New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota | Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania  | Rhode Island | South Carolina | South Dakota | Tennessee | Texas | Utah | Vermont | Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming
Not a
state yet 		Australia | Canada | China | District of Columbia | Eurabia | Iraq
Retrieved from "http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/California"
Personal tools
Your Ad Here