Camp rock

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

It's basically High School Musical going camping but with different names and even crappier dialogue and music. Congrats on wasting another hour of my life, Disney.

Camp Rock is a DCOM or Disney Channel Original Movie (or Delightfully Cleansing Orgy Maker). Basically just High School Musical at Summer Camp, the movie makes one wonder just how much Disney has to throw around. Judging by all of their crappy made-for-TV movies that all resemble the same storyline but with different character names, quite a bit. Congratulations on all the money you're making for Disney, Miley.

Within the first five minutes of the film, lack of common sense rears it's ugly head. Bitchy Mitchie, the main character, is seen dancing around her room, which contains not only a keyboard, but also a microphone and a guitar. So when her mother tells her she can't go to Camp Rock because her catering business is taking off and her dad owns a successful hardware store and they have plenty of nice things in their house and they just can't afford it, most of us were sitting there going LOLWUT?

Disney used it's clever Nazi knowledge to market this movie just right. So what did they do to turn this crock of shit from just another crappy made-for-tv-movie into the highest rated thing on television? They brought in teh gheys.

[edit] The Characters

Proof that Disney is breeding jailbait.

Bitchy Mitchie has an Itchie (aka, a rash): Disney stays true to their copying of previous movies by making sure that every character in the movie had an HSM equivalent. Mitchie is obviously a knock-off of Vanessa "Nude Pics" Hudgens. Basically she is a 16 yr old girl in disguise. LOOK OUT. But like all main characters, Bitchy is one compelling girl. She finds herself caught in a web of treacherous lies as it becomes known that Bitchy's mom isn't the president of MTV China, or even Asian at all. The lead JoBrohoe was absolutely heart-broken over the news, and yells and screams in an illiterate 12-year-old girl fan-fiction author kind of way as the movie reaches it's anti-climax. People are hailing the actress who plays her, Demi Lovato, as the next Miley Cyrus.

Jonas Brothers/The Connect 3 (Character names irrelevant): Much Like Mitchy Bitchy, each of the JoHoes has an HSM equal. The girlie-looking one is Zac "Buttsecks" Efron, the middle one is the stupid B-Ball player, and the youngest one stays true to the few Black People in HSM by wearing his hair in his signature "JewFro" style, proving that the JoHoes are, in fact, Jews.

The Blond Chick: Obviously Sharpay in drag, this camwhore is by far one of the deepest characters in the movie. Her mom is a famous pop-star, who taught her daughter every sex move she knows (hence that shoulder shaking in her show-stopping number "I'd jump in a pool for You"). Her mother's success is recorded on her daughter's charm bracelet:

LUVS ME NOW.

Oh, ok.

[edit] How to know if you should watch this movie

Typical Camp Rock fans having an E-orgy.

Whilst most of us would never subject ourselves to this faggotry, there are a select few of you to whom we would recommend Camp Rock. For instance, if I hated you, I would tell you to go watch this movie. If you can identify with any of the following things, you should watch this movie:

• You play Gaiaonline
• You use Livejournal
• You take computer science III
• You are proud to be a totally unique and original fan-fiction author whose characters are amazingly realistic
• You have listened to a Jonas Brothers song. And liked it.
• You like/love Twilight
• You contemplated suicide after somebody stole your iPod.
• You are a 12-year-old girl
• You charged your laser but accidentally killed that diabetic JoHoe with it.
• You are an Avril Lavigne fan

[edit] The Fanbase

As is the case with most of the shit that Disney comes out with (see Hannah Montana), Camp Rock isn't rotting away after old Full House reruns as one would feel appropriate, but is instead making zillions of cash money, and a second production is in the works.

As any legitimate source will tell you, Camp Rock is FRIGGIN' AMAZINGGG!!!!11!!1!!! But if you don't want to believe that, let the following fan responses convince you:

And, much like the Twilight fans before them, they fight the haters with a ferocious force.

Luckily, the fanbase is easy as hell to troll. Just follow these easy steps and you shall find a large field full of lolcows:

Youtube Version:

• Go to Youtube
• Search Camp Rock
• Find a shitty vid (preferably one of the movie's hit songs.)
• State a truthful fact, such as "Joe/Nick/Kevin [delete as applicable] will never fall in love with fangirls", or, "Camp Rock is utter Disney shit. Even Goatse is more appealing." (Though most fangirls probably don't know what Goatse is.)
• ????
• PROFIT!

Alternate Version:

• Find a Camp Rock Forum.
• Sign up with a name like "JOEISMINE112" or "CAMPROCK4EVA"
• Troll the fuck out of it with truthful facts about Camp Rock and the Jonas Brothers (like those shown in the Youtube version).
• ????
• PROFIT!

Or be a TARTlet and make a stamp like this, since dA is full of aids.

[edit] The Truth

Surprisingly enough, there were those who saw the movie for what it was. It is speculated that these few were mostly Nickelodeon fans who were against the hype and really hated the movie. Most speculate that they are actually closet-Camp Rock fans.

[edit] See Also

• Disney
• Jonas Brothers