Canberra
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Recently awarded the Guinness Record for "Only Hole Above Ground" and composed almost completely of crop circles, Canberra is the void into which Australians dump their politicians, pornstar-wannabes, and cycling-enthusiast university students. The two-story high "City Centre" is believed to be the ruins of Atlantis, as the only reason historians can find for their diminutive stature is that "they sank" (Dr Jeremy Fisher, 184BCE). Curious phenomena, such as the overnight construction of a carillon tower by aluminum pixies, has led many to believe that the pit rests above a portal to the alternate dimension of Bizarro-World - a wild and mysterious realm inhabited by aluminum pixies, bike-wheel-spoke goblins, fuzzy-wuzzy lie generators (common pets of the politicians), and a small neo-nazi boy in a wolf suit, known only as Max.
At least 100 years ago, NASA made the shocking revelation that (from satellite imagery) Canberra was very clearly evidence of extra-terrestrials. Never before had crop-circles been discovered on such a large scale. This led to the Great UFO Migration of '42, when starving Russians and flying-saucer conspirators left their houses and smoke-stacks in search of enlightenment from the stars. Tinfoil hats are now a staple clothing item, although they are highly attractive to aluminum pixies who mistake these hats for possible mates. It is advised to carry a can of Whack-Off or similar substance when journeying into canberra.
Canberra is the classic example of what happens when you let Australians have sharp objects and take their pacifiers away. It exists because they had a vote on which town was going to be the new capital of Oz...........and couldn't decide. So they stuck a pin randomly in the middle of the map, and built an entirely artificial town in the desert, a bit like Las Vegas, except full of tards with not even one tenth the money to spend. A similar event occurred when they had a competition to find a new national anthem. There were 14,000 entries, and every single entry was rejected as unsuitable or too obscene.
[edit] Trivia
The parliamentary triangle, an area bounded by several major Canberran roads and landmarks, has seen the mysterious disappearance of many aircraft and paddle-boats, and is thought to be the final resting place of the Dengue Coq, a morphine-sloop operating during the Australian Civil War. It was said to be carrying enough morphine to "blinde a welder's dogge".
