Castlevania
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Castlevania is a video game series by Konami where you play a vampire hunter in every single game, who has to whip things in a dungeon. Of course, Dracula was made up by Bram Stoker, an Irish gentleman, but Konami refuses to give his heirs the royalties they deserve.
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The Belmonts
The Belmonts are a family of vampire hunters that use a whip, crosses, holy water, axes, knives and other stuff to kill Dracula (over and over) and his minions. Said whip is the Vampire Killer, which has been passed down the Belmont family for generations. A few notable Belmonts include:
- Leon: The first member of the clan to wield the whip. He had anger issues and some very lame lines, such as "I'LL KILL YOU AND THE NIGHT!" and "CARVE THEM ON YOUR CURSED BODY AND PERISH!". He's also emo, which is surprising, since the game took place in 1095 AD, when the emo subculture was yet to befoul the world.
- Sonia: The only female Belmont. Had some unique abilities that did not return in later games. Unfortunately, she was only in an older GameBoy game, so she isn't exactly good fap material and for whatever reason, nobody's fixing that problem.. She totally fucked Alucard, and then beat the shit out of him afterwords because they're into that sort of thing. She is not considered part of the Castlevania canon timeline anymore, because she's a woman.
- Simon: The Belmont everyone knows and loves, and starred in the original, which is always the best. Truly all that is man.
- Juste: Simon's grandson. How a family from Romania got a French-named kid is anyone's guess.
- Richter: Fought alongside Maria Renard and Alucard. He was controlled by Dracula, but only after getting his shit kicked in by Alucard did he come to his senses. He originally looked like Ryu, but was updated for Symphony of The Night and the Dracula X Chronicles to look like every other Belmont, with the added bonus of greasy, unkempt hair. May be related to Richiter Belmont, who you can play as in Portrait of Ruin.
- Julius: A modern Belmont, Julius is the most powerful Belmont to date, and is the only one to have facial hair, which may or may not be related to his powers.
Other characters
- Dracula: The constant villain of the series. In every game, he gets brought back from the dead, and a Belmont has to kill him again. His usual tactics include breaking a number of wine glasses and transforming into his true form, which is never the same thing in any game, possibly the only variety in the series. Supposedly destroyed once and for all by Julius Belmont in 1999.
- Death: Dracula's sidekick who has to get his shit kicked in every game. Though he's supposed to be the incarnation of death, he gets his ass kicked a lot, and is notable for downright bizarre voice acting in some games (such as Portrait of Ruin).
- Carmilla: Carmilla fucking loves Dracula. No. Srsly. She has butthurt over the fact Dracula is gay with Death and prefers his boner over her tits. She likes to wear typical whore outfits like fishnets and platform high-heels. Alucard acts like he hates her and wants to kill her. But we all know what he really wants from her.
- Alucard: The son of Dracula, and his pseudonym is Dracula spelled backwards. His real name is "Adrian Farenheit Tepes". He is the most fapped-to person in the series by fanboys and fangirls alike, due his cool powers and hawt looks. He hates his dad, probably because he was not given enough hugs as a child. Is gay for Richter Belmont. Suggestions have been made of just going ahead and making a game where you play as Alucard to rescue Alucard from Alucard in a castle that's made of nothing but high-resolution images of Alucard.
- Soma Cruz: A high school exchange student in Japan in 2035 who is supposed to be Dracula's reincarnation, and can absorb souls from monsters. He can equip souls to gain new attacks and transform. He is quite androgynous, only surpassed by Alucard and his disguise Genya Arikado when it comes to looking like an animu man-whore.
- Sypha Belnades: Sorcerer who helped Trevor Belmont in Dracula's Curse. At the end of the game, he is revealed to be she, and apparently had a hard life.(Gee, now where have I seen this before?) After IGA took over, and Konami granting him power to change everything, Sypha and Trevor made babies and gave birth to new super-powerful Belmonts, most notably Juste. In the fighting game Castlevania: Judgment, where Death Note artist Takeshi Obata did the character designs, he gave Sypha a new rack job, as well as a PMSing personality, thus giving birth to her new name; Slutpha Bitchnades.
- Stella and Loretta: Brauner's twin daughters. Brauner kills their father, turns them into vampires and brainwashes them so they think HE is their father before the events of Portrait of Ruin. Both of them have Desu eyes until you purify them, which is reason enough to mention them here.
- Shanoa: Doesn't stay in the kitchen. A member of an organization called Ecclesia, she is ordered by some old fart who wants to resurrect Dracula (again) to get some magic spell called Dominus back from her associate, Dumbledor. All of her attacks use magic called glyph magic. In her adventure to get Dominus back (and then kill Dracula AGAIN), she fights a giant enemy crab and a whole other assortment of other monsters no one cares about. For a slight bit of lulz, you can set all three Dominus glyphs to her slots, then use them all at once to watch her become an hero while destroying everything else on the screen. Who knows? You might set a new record...
- Jonathan Morris: One of the few non-Belmonts to use the Vampire Killer, as the Morris family is related to the Belmont family by blood. His dad died because he used the Vampire Killer too much and his grandfather is one of the characters from Bram Stoker's Dracula.
THE GAMES
- The Early Games: These games all had the same basic gameplay. The early Belmonts had not yet evolved the ability to change direction in the middle of a jump or the ability to jump off of stairs, causing all but the most persistent gamers to break their systems.
- The Nintendo 64 Games: Even though series producer Koji Igarashi doesn't want to admit these games exist, they do. In both you had the choice of playing a Belmont wannabe, a magical girl, or a furry. The plot usually involved saving a loved one from Dracula's clutches. Famous for being even more frustrating to play than the old games. Castlevania 64's only enemies are skeletons which include giant skeletons, skeletons riding motorcycles (even though it's set in the 1800s), and dragon skeletons.
- The New Games: Symphony of the Night changed everything. Now there are RPG elements, backtracking, and other things ripped off of Metroid. They've also been subjected to many graphical and stylistic overhauls. No doubt a case of Konami jumping the shark.
THE FANDOM
There's little information available about the Castlevania fandom currently.
However, what is known is that the fandom is divided into two camps, who spend most of their time arguing over whether or not Koji Igarashi is ruining the series. The pro-Igarashi camp believe that since he's in control of the series, he has every right to make changes as he sees fit. This often leads to pages-long forum threads where true fans begin fapping over pictures of Alucard while the old schoolers accuse them of being weeaboos, hilariously ignorant of Castlevania's origins.
There is multiple fandom for Castlevania such as the knockoff JKA Mod being developed by omegasigma from FileFucks. The easiest way to troll a Castlevania board is to say that Castlevania: Legends is canon, and that Igarashi removed it from the time-line because he's sexist.
GALLERY
No fandom is free from cosplay... |
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See also
- What is a man?
- Vampire
- Christianity
- Konami
- Goth
- ICVD - A forum full of Castlevania fantards.
External Links
- Castlevania: The Rap Album
- Throne Room of Lord Dracula Another forum with Castlevania fantards.
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