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White people

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Typical residence of whiteys.

White people are a nomadic folk.

Nigga getting back at the white man.

Vital for when white suburban youth attend "rap" concerts.

Typical white family.

Caucasian mating ritual.

Blacks are rumored to harbor resentment against whitey for some strange reason.

Average white person. Note the lack of melanin and absence of tribal headwear, thus distinguishing him from non-whitey.

Exterminate white people! (Note: that's you.)(serious fucking business)

“	The problem on the planet is white people.	„
, Dr. Kamau Kambon

For those who find this tl:dr, the short form: White people live in the internets (which, coincidentally, were created by other whiteys). They own everything, including the sky and the moon, which were stolen in typical whitey fashion some time in the 1800s. White folk can only be defeated by sexual means (see almost_raped) or with psychoactive drugs like LSD, Jimson Weed and Prozac.

The long version:

White people are so named for the pale, sun-deprived complexion that was bestowed upon them by God, because He wanted them easier to see at night. (Note: Jews do not count as white people, as they are genetically inferior to even tribal Africans.)

White people are a subset of the Cauc asian race, and therefore include such diversity as people of Romania, Spain, Sweden and Russia (but not the Middle East). White people rule teh internets, but fear that black people like Al Sharpton will one day rise against them after figuring out there's more to operating a computer than trolling chat rooms looking for bitches to gangrape. Actually, that probably will never happen, as everyone knows that black people can't afford computers (and even if they could, they wouldn't know how to use them.)

1 History of Whitey
- 1.1 Whitey in Ancient History
- 1.2 Whitey in MediEVIL History
2 Other terms
3 White Accomplishments
4 Whitey and You
5 Whitey and Slavery
6 Where Whitey Lives
7 Whitey Social Behavior
8 Whitey Sexual Behavior
9 Eating and Shopping Habits of Whitey
10 White People Who Are Not White
11 Conclusion
12 Typical White People's pasttimes
13 See also
14 External Links

[edit] History of Whitey

Practically all which whites possess they stole. This includes the land, including North and South America as a whole.
They are too lazy to build their own economies, and so often got slaves to do it for them. Before you assume "NIGGA STOLE MAH WIFE", remember that "HONKEY STOLE MAH LAND!"
Modern whities came from Cro-Magnons, who drove the original whities, the Neanderthals, into extinction. Whities even stole the "old country" of Europe from someone else. A hint of things to come?

Whiteman, a superhero for the 21st century.

Modern whiteys (or "crackers," as this sub-human species is commonly known) were created at least 100 years ago by a black scientist named Malcolm X as a race for his fellow blacks to rob, rape and murder. However, the first whitey, Pat Boone, broke free and -- in a crude precursor of "doing it for the lulz" -- violated all of the goats on Mr. X's farm. But the insane cracker wasn't finished yet.

Boone broke into the barnhouse and strangled Mr. X's pre-teen daughter and son. The vile subhuman went on to rape their corpses, hack their bodies into pieces, and place the remains in an ice chest in the basement. (Note: you don't find black people doing crazy shit like that.) These events were to form the defining characteristics of the cracker race.

When Malcolm returned home he was devastated. His lab was in shambles, and what's moar, Boone had cloned himself to create an army of goat-fucking, pedophilic, road kill-eating crackers. This caused Malcolm X to vow vengeance on all crackerdom by any means necessary. His struggle would form the basis of the television show "The Jeffersons," which depicted a stylized version of these events, changing the goat farm to a cleaners and Pat Boone into some guy from England.

White man's vision of the ideal woman: 95 lbs., A-cup breasts and a pancake ass. An ass any larger than this would classify this woman as "morbidly obese."

Though white people often point to the Bible to justify their rape and subjugation of non-whites, this is in fact evidence of their illiteracy. Biblical characters were actually Semitics, mostly Jews. Because white people can't read, they often choose to watch films instead; the past 100 years of seeing white actors play these roles has caused the mass delusion that whiteys are the chosen people.

In America, even someone who is 100% white is still, generally, a mongrel. Most white people have the blood (and frequently, also, the semen) of many ethnicities inside them. Within a generation of coming to the US, most sons and daughters of immigrants have interbred with the local population. This seminal intermixing guarantees that most white people have genetic material from other races. If not for this genetic mixing, white people might have gone extinct as the result of genetic syndromes caused by inbreeding. Nonetheless, whitey as a race is doomed (see below).

Typical white person.

White people have FUN!

In America, great social upheaval has occurred since the second half of the 20^th century over employment and educational polices such as Affirmative Action, racial quotas and immigration visas. In order to make sure some real work gets done, American businesses, schools, and the government have instituted policies to bring in non-white workers. Many lazy whites have protested these policies, which they believe allow non-whites to land jobs they feel entitled to. On the high salary end of the job market, high-tech companies are forced to look overseas for H1-B work permit holders to find qualified workers. Even among low-wage jobs such as fruit picking, it is well-known among farmers that germophobe whites are unwilling to get dirty or do the job with any speed or efficiency. Put simply, THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!!!

[edit] Whitey in Ancient History

Contrary to popular belief, Whities were not great inventors or civilized gentlemen who created civilization and introduced it to the dark savages. Whities were quite backwards, and had no technology or history to speak of. The only ancient Whitey civilizations even worth mentioning, like Rome, Greece and Byzantine (none of whom were even white), only had civilization because of their direct contact with Africa, the Middle East and Asia. It was those civilizations which gave Whitey civilizations their levels of technology, medicine and literature. When Rome and Greece fell, Whitey went back to his natural habitat: crawling on all fours over the hills of Yurp looking for a white woman to clobber over the head and raep.

[edit] Whitey in MediEVIL History

Whities had no sense of sanitation and would have 20 people drink, spit and snot in the same bowl of water. In fact, Whities were so backwards and nasty that the Black Plague happened precisely because they were so fucking dirty. Unfortunately, the Arabs felt sorry for them and civilized the rock apes by introducing medicine. To thank them for it, the Euro-peons got jealous of the Moors in southern Spain, who are well-known by anthropologists for having technology superior to that of the white Spaniards, and attacked them. Nobody expected the Spanish Inquisition. The Spaniards won by reducing the number of Moors with filthy Whitey diseases. Eventually, Whities stole boats and gunpowder from the Chinese and navigation from the Africans and went sailing. They killed off the Native Americans with Whitey diseases and took over Murikkka and took credit for everything ever invented. Because they were able to take over the world by spreading disease and stealing technology from other people, they believe they are superior.

[edit] Other terms

YT
Cracker
Hick
Hillbilly
Honkey
Hoosier
Pea-pickers
Redneck
Trailer trash
Wigger
Yokel
White Trash
Fishbelly
Cocksauce
Maggot

[edit] White Accomplishments

White people are responsible for the following inventions/innovations:

[edit] Whitey and You

Typical whitey middle class suburbs that whitey believes is the peak of human civilization.

Sexually deviant white perverts have fetishized every other skin color and ethnicity on the planet. Historically, white people had to rape in order to fulfill their twisted needs. Even the American founding fathers were having babies with their slaves. As white people moved west across the United States, and their European brethren colonized Asia and Africa, they continued to force themselves on native people to satisfy their desires. For this reason, everyone hates white people -- except for a few who are liked by black folk, as shown by the fact that a website named Black People Love Us! exists.

The white man's lust for the unobtainable creates a huge marketplace for the entrepreneurial pornographer, and rightfully so. The proliferation of interracial porn on the internet, sub-divided by every ethnicity (particularly asians and blacks), is testament not only to whitey's sexual appetites, but to the fact that non-white women won't have sex with white men unless paid to do so.

It is worth noting that communities and conventions organized around a sexual fetish are mostly populated by white people, typically fat ones. White people are known to fall asleep while fucking, which is just lame.

Typical YT female teenager.

[edit] Whitey and Slavery

They breed prodigiously, like rats. Especially the Mor(m)ons. They also value their privacy.

The typical Arab on IRC Undernet thinking he's white.

Eventually the whites took over America and enslaved the blacks, yet even in a position of power they couldn't fight back their primitive, animal-like behavior. The most telling example of this was undoubtedly the raping of the slave women. To most normal people this would hardly sound appealing, yet so depraved a creature is whitey that he just had to get himself some of that action. This eventually contributed to the decline of whitey's civilization, as the resulting offspring have gone on to make all kinds of problems we never used to have before all those darkies moved into the neighborhood. The worst of the lot can be traced back to the great-grandmother of Britney Spears, who is well-known for having the most hideous fuckhole in the history of fuckholes. Poor Brit is also famous for being the rankest whore ever to step out of a Louisiana mobile home.

While Blacks typically complain about the system, Whitey tends to complain about people who complain about the system. Whitey is a steadfast supporter of the status quo, no matter how much it works against him, and believes that everyone who gets fucked over in life is just "lazy." This is grossly hypocritical, given that Whitey got slaves to pick his cotton because he was too lazy to do it himself. Whitey's entire economy has built off of cheap labor from Blacks, Hispanics and Asians, but this fact is typically lost on Whitey, who likes to think his kind invented pretty much everything.

[edit] Where Whitey Lives

"Dallas", a known residential area for white people.

White people tend to congregate outside of cities in large developments of houses that look completely alike. Because their brains lack the ability to grasp many new concepts, they are frightened and disturbed by anything unusual or that requires complex thought to understand. It is because of this that whites create large housing developments with strict rules. In a development, some usual rules include the required possession of: one bible per person, one white person of the opposite sex bound by marriage, one to two children, more than $50,000 per year in income per independent, many expensive and shiny objects with which to occupy oneself, a satellite dish that receives 500 or more channels, multiple cars, jobs (preferably office work), and very green, evenly trimmed grass. Any and all skeletons should be buried very deeply in closets; such abnormalities can cause other whites to become scared, stop allowing their children outside, call the police, or curse you in church. In the event that particularly troubling skeletons or revealed, whitey may riot, commit arson, or kill you. Yes, it's that serious.

Whitey is also known to chill under specially designated white trees.

[edit] Whitey Social Behavior

Average "hawt" white girl.

Crackers have a tendency to walk around in public in a uptight manner, possibly due to either having sticks up their asses or having been almost raped.

The male White specimen tends to be a lamer, a frat boy or an emo. During the day they flock together in packs at the mall or travel alone in search of non-White women to molest. At night, the emofag cuts itself, the lamer posts on livejournal or myspace, and the frat boy gets drunk and/or gets humjobs from freshman pledges. When a male White animal gets drunk, it becomes rowdy and aggressive, making loud whooping noises that disturb the entire neighborhood. Some scientists believe this is a form of mating call, while others believe it's just fucking stupid.

The female White specimen tends to be a 16 year old girl, an emo, a Valleygirl or some type of whore. During the day they flock together to look for clothes or fattening food, or go out in search of frat boys to "hook up with." At night, they get on Facebook or Myspace, shamelessly promoting themselves and basking in the glow of unwarranted self-importance. The Valleygirl often turns into a were-bitch that wrecks parties, while the whore gets drunk to the point of passing out and getting almost raped, which they soon reveal in a tell-all entry on Livejournal.

White women have by far precipitated to represent the worst elements of femininity. This phenomenon began in 1066, when William the Conqueror introduced the doctrine of prima nocte, allowing his relatives to fuck all the women on their estates on their wedding nights before their husbands could get them some. Over time, this practice became a commercial one, with white women evolving into prostitutes and subsequently introducing "whore culture" to the New World.

Average "handsome" middle-class white guy, obviously much better than those poor whiteys.

In the summertime, white people, especially the middle-aged ones, will inevitably wear inappropriately short shorts to show off their marmalade-esque, shapeless legs. They seem to think other people enjoy seeing these varicose vein-riddled blobs of uncooked dough, but they are mistaken.

Whiteys typically love dissing non-White people so they can feel important and good about their pasty, unattractive selves.

[edit] Whitey Sexual Behavior

Average suburban Whitey teenage male doing average Whitey teenage things, like raping your neighbor's dog

Whiteys are world-renowned rapists and dabblers in all sorts of sexual perversion. White men rape women in Asia, take sex slaves from Africa and South America, and take child prostitutes from Eastern Europe with impunity, as Whitey can do no wrong in his eyes. Blame for all the world's sexual abuse is shifted to the darkies, and Whitey's record stays at clean as his skin (unless he's white trash, which is sort of like "dark" white meat.) Thanks to YT Revisionist History, all those Native American and slave women that had the white man's johnson plunged forecefully into them were simply asking for it. The white man is also known for being sexually perverse (more like diverse, amirite?) and is not above having sex with dogs or taking it in the ass from horses. Not surprisingly, white women are known for preferring ~~non-White~~ Black 12+ inch cock over skimpy little 2- inch White Cocks, and sometimes for having extreme fetishes and dying from bizarre sexual acts.

[edit] Eating and Shopping Habits of Whitey

A strange dichotomy exists within white shopping culture. While most white people just eat crap, hippies, yuppies and others swollen with liberal guilt tend to purchase so-called "healthy food," and can often be seen buying organic products. The more expensive and Earth-friendly it is, the more this consumer cross-section must have it. They also bring their own bags to the store, usually tiny misshapen hemp bags handmade by women from the local battered woman's shelter that cannot hold their $350 worth of soy products and K-Y Jelly. Strangely enough, for people who insist on "cruelty-free" products, they certainly do tend to be assholes towards to the hired help of stores and restaurants. A no-cruelty mindset does not extend toward the lower class; wearing a cheap polo shirt and plastic nametag will make you shit in there eyes. They care more about animals than people, it would seem. See Peta.

White Trash beauty queen: From the failed "Girls of the Buffet" spread

Amongst white trash, greasy, nutritionally barren food is the norm. Hamburgers, Americanized "Mexican Food", and the ubiquitous all-you-can-eat buffet are essential to the white American diet. Picture if you will a 500-pound fat fuck who is actually malnourished, living amongst a pile of McDonalds wrappers and shitty discarded underwear while drinking a Diet Coke. Nothing beats good-old white ingenuity!

[edit] White People Who Are Not White

Kind of white.

Despite the degrading implications that come with being associated with the white race, there are still those who take pride in pretending they are at least loosely associated with this perverted species of rapists and plunderers. Some examples include:

Coconut: Brown (black) on the outside, white on the inside
Apple: Red on the outside, white on the inside
Twinkie or Banana: Yellow on the outside, white on the inside

Harassment, beatings and the popping of caps into one's ass are typical responses to these individuals. If you see one, please react accordingly.

[edit] Conclusion

White men are self-loathing piles of fecal matter who are afraid of everything. They hold black people in disregard for not being "productive members of society," fear Asians because they are too "smart," and are insecure of Jews at having been "beaten at their own shit." Fear of the Mexican is probably warranted, however: they are a crafty race, and are no doubt are out to steal that choice position at McDonald’s I've had my eye on. It has been said that whitey should revel is his achievements while he can, as Census Bureau projections show that "white" will be near minority levels in the U.S. by 2050. Oh noes!

"All white people are going to hell." ...but not before the Jews, the Blacks the Sandniggers and You...