Chewfox

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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FAT ALERT

WARNING LEVEL: EXTREMELY FUCKING HIGH

Chewfox and TomCat preparing to show the world how it's done

Chewfox, AKA Chelsy Dyer is a furfagette from Orlando, Florida who, after appearing on The Tyra Show to tell the world what furries really are like, has stirred up a nest of anthropomorphic dog-fucking hornets, failing so spectacularly at life that she's now effectively shunned by the lowest existing social tier.

Tryagate

Tyra Banks, in desperate need of ratings, decided to put her hairy feelers out for a show about freaky motherfuckers and the sex that they have. Furries started getting messages in their Myspaces and Facebooks.

“	Subject: The Tyra Show Hello, My name is Brooke and I am an Associate Producer for "The Tyra Show." We are in the research stages of an upcoming show and I’m looking to speak with furries in relationships. If this applies to you or anyone you know please give me a call at 0000000 or email me the best contact information for you: brooke.townsend@00000. Thank you so much and I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Brooke Townsend	„

While most furfags suspected a ruse, Chewfox took the bait like it was a cheeseburger and ran with it, telling everyone she could how much her mind was blown, how she "wanted people to know what it's like to be furries", and that she would take utmost care not to tarnish the gleaming, sparkly reputation of the furry fandom.

“	I got the call yesterday. It will be airing September 16th at 4:00 PM Eastern Standard time on the channel known as the "CW". I'm very excited, and considering it was such a fast process I feel that they didn't edit anything out on context. We will be the VERY FIRST part of the show, just so you know. You won't wait have wait through all the commercials to see it. Spread the word :3	„
—Chewfox's (now deleted) initial warning to the furry public.

Unfortunately, her lack of e-friends kept word from getting out quick enough, and the world's eyes were subjected to satin-pajama-covered mascot-humping rolls, and their twiggy boyfriend. The result is a hilarious display; the crowd immediately figures out who the furries are just by looking at them. Chelsy covers all the furry basics about how furries are really just people with animals trapped inside to how much she likes being pegged by a man in a kitty costume.

The Fandom Reacts

Soon after, her proud journal post on FurAffinity was flooded with so many comments that the site's massive and amazing servers finally folded under a weight nearly rivaling that of Chewfox herself. In what has become a proud tradition at Fur Affininty, furries once agsin acted surprised when one of their own did something stupid. Although The Tyra show was only watched by stay at home moms, the elderly, and the unemployed, furries knew that Chewfox's appearance was only the most important shit evar and spammed the shit out of her journal. She managed to delete it, along with another one expressing her deep disappointment in the fandom before being banned for being the worst furry of them all by none other than Preyfar/Dragoneer.

Dragoneer Reacts

Tyra must FEEED

He fucking ~~hates~~ hated you

~~Get the fuck out~~ JK you can come back.

After the first time the site went down, users were greeted with a new "FA is Down" page, featuring Tyra Banks herself. Not long after, the FA forums went down and started to piss off Dragoneer. The site came back up, only to crash all over again. This sent Neer into a furry rage, which was only fueled further by the release of a video of the actual show. After a quick tweet, he slammed the banhammer down on her with a special message on her page, telling everyone how she "has brought shame to the entire fandom for their own personal self gain."

“	"Suffice to say, she sold out the fandom for her own personal gain. She got her fifteen minutes on national TV by showing herself to be the very kind of person we all like to pretend doesn't exist, and she did it by taking a collective shit on the rest of us for a few dollars and her momnent in the limelight. I was less embarrassed over the Allan Panda pedophilia issue than I am this shit."	„
— Preyfar on his livejournal

Dragoneer Retracts

Dragoneer was a hero to all furries due to his actions and was about to receive a medal until he remembered who he was and backpedaled with a 'temporary' ban and explanation. Clearly, Dragoneer saw the irony of banning someone for "misrepresenting" furries as perverts so that he could get on with his life of drawing dragon cocks and generating revenue from sex toy ads.

Chewfox Returns (UnBant)

The overweight attention whore comes back to FurAffinity at about 12:00AM on Sep 18th 2009 and has already started to collect her own hate art like any typical furfagette in this situation. But hope for the ultimate lulz may not be lost. As most suspect she will be doxed.

Chewfox Ruins Lives

It turns out that she actually ruined other furry lives. No, not by her fat ugly face, but because she went on television and stated that all fursuiters fuck in their suits. She made some fursuiters, who used their fursuits for reasons other than fucking, lose some of their business either performing as a mascot or making fursuits for clients. Now they are all seen as sex-crazed deviants, and anyone who watched Tyra know the sad pathetic truth.

Chewfox Tries To Explain Herself

In a recent journal (which has over 500+ comments) she tried to explain her self and get others to see her viewpoint. Everyone knows however, that she is just being an attention whore and looking for sympathy after being outed by an entire fandom. Of course, doing this does bring in the white knights and make her feel better about herself.

“	When I spoke to the producer, she told me that there were TWO, yes... TWO couples that were both FURRY COUPLES, that were interested in going. Tom and I beat them to the punch. We were both the first ones to agree, and that were able to get off of work, etc. So yes, there were actually two other couples "stupid enough" to do what we did.	„
—Chewfox, Well she did one thing right, she saved another couple from being hated by everyone in the fandumb

“	Talk to your parents about it. Be honest from the beginning. If you let them believe it is something that shouldn't be talked about, then they will think it is something that they should be scared of.	„
—Chewfox, I'm sure your parents would like to know you fuck in animal suits and probably fuck your dog too.

The Landwhale And Its Journals

Chewfox explains how she's gonna help the furries	Then she tells them how disappointed she is that they're berating her instead of fucking in animal costumes	Dragoneer lets his rage shine through	With enough failure, even furries can be shamed
Cause only Bitches watch Tyra Banks, amirite?	Chewfox's INNER ANIMAL	STRATEGICALLY PLACED HOLES	Friendly advice whale
Tom cat should try out this one	Internet Tough Guy	She should've seen it coming...	I'd hit it...with bullets
Typical audience reaction	Dragoneer is disappoint