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STD

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STD Is the outdated term for venereal disease (so called because you get it through your venerium). It stands for 'sexually transmitted diseases'. You can get these by kissing, holding hands, or looking to closely at those of the opposite gender.

Contents

[edit] Kinds of STDs

  • Genital Warts - Small, painful itchy bumps on your cock or cunt. It cannot be cured; look forward to a lonely, boobless/cockless life, because no one is going to want to fuck you now.
  • Genital Herpes - Pretty much the same deal.
  • Gonorrhea - Causes a pus-y sore on the end of your cock.
  • Syphilis - First causes a rash all over your body, then makes you go crazy and invade other countries.
Another unfortunate victim of MONGO.
Another unfortunate victim of MONGO.
  • Crabs - Lice that live in your pubic hair.
  • Scabies - small brown bugs that dig onto your skin and then lay eggs in your skin. there you go, and ya its pretty fucking nasty.
  • AIDS - Damn, dude. I'd start looking around Caskets R Us pretty soon. Prevalent in hotel pools, often closing them down completely until management sends out banhammers.
  • Chlamydia - Usually doesn't cause symptoms, so that you don't even know you have it until you get an ectopic pregnancy about 15 years later, and have to have an abortion to save your life, and so get kicked out of the church and burn in hell for eternity.
  • Furpes-Furpes is a virulent genital ulcerative disease, and one of the most common sexually transmitted infections in furries. The disease is spread by fucking someone who is wearing a stupid costume. Think carefully before you indulge; your actions could lead to large, unsightly pustules and sores all over your knob.
  • children- The most common form of std the symptoms of children are being harrassed by a 13 year old loser for the rest of ur life... Epic Fail!
This is Herpes, which you can get either from being a whore or from being MONGO'D.
This is Herpes, which you can get either from being a whore or from being MONGO'D.

Remember that next time he says he "can't feel anything through the condom".

With some STDs, your pussy burns.
With some STDs, your pussy burns.
Ribbed for her pleasure!
Ribbed for her pleasure!

[edit] eSTDs

Due to Al Gore's invention, teh Internets, STDs gained a new face: eSTDs with eAIDS as the prime example. Usually you catch eSTDs by unprotected cybersex. eSTDs jokes roam across LJs, IRC and such, with people asking "U CYBRAD WIT HER?!!!? OMG WTF SHA HAS 3ADES!1!!!!1 OMG LOL." You can also gain eSTDs by pissing off a random group of people - suddenly you find yourself having eAIDS!

WARNING: Unlike normal AIDS, eAIDS is spread by virtual contact or pixelated pools. It's similar to Chuck Norris's AIDS mutation.

[edit] Prevalence

This map shows the rates of being MONGO'D in the United States. Image:Mongomap.gif

[edit] Cures

The only effective cure for all STDs is suicide. It's for the best, really. Unless a necrophiliac comes around. That sick fuck will have to kill himself, and start the cycle all over again.

ALTERNATIVELY:

Those kids were lying. There's no cure.



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