STD
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
(Redirected from Chlamydia)
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STD is the outdated term for venereal disease (so called because you get it through your venerium). It stands for 'sexually transmitted diseases'. You can get these by kissing, holding hands, doin' the anal mambo, sharing drinks or looking too closely at those of the opposite gender.
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Kinds of STDs
- Genital warts - Small, painful itchy bumps on your cock, cunt or anus. It cannot be cured; look forward to a lonely, titless/dickless life, because no one is going to want to fuck you now.
- Genital Herpes - Pretty much the same deal.
- Gonorrhea - Produces pus spewing from the end of your cock.
- Syphilis - First causes a rash all over your body, then makes you go crazy and invade other countries.
- Crabs - Lice that live in your pubic hair. (See Lovebugz.)
- AIDS - Damn, dude. I'd start looking around Caskets-R-Us pretty soon. Prevalent in hotel pools, often closing them down completely until management sends out banhammers.
- Chlamydia - Usually doesn't cause symptoms, so that you don't even know you have it until you get an ectopic pregnancy about 15 years later, have to have an abortion to save your life, get kicked out of the Catholic Church and burn in hell for eternity.
- Furpes - "Furpes" is a virulent genital ulcerative disease, and one of the most common sexually transmitted infections in furries. The disease is spread by fucking someone who is wearing a stupid costume. Think carefully before you indulge; your actions could lead to large, unsightly pustules and sores all over your knob.
- Diabeetus - An extremely fatal infection contracted by participating in group anal sex with Wilford Brimley.
Remember that next time he says he "can't feel anything through the condom."
Prevalence
This map shows the rates of being MONGO'D in the United States.
Cures
The only effective cure for all STDs is suicide. It's for the best, really. Unless a necrophiliac comes around. That sick fuck will have to kill himself, and start the cycle all over again.
ALTERNATIVELY:
Sadly, those kids were lying. There's no cure.
Educational Films
Statistics
The CDC's latest (2009) study on STDs found:
- 1.2 million cases of chlamydia were reported in 2008, up from 1.1 million in 2007.
- Nearly 337,000 cases of gonorrhea were reported.
- Adolescent girls 15 to 19 years had the most chlamydia and gonorrhea cases of any age group at 409,531.
- Blacks, who represent 12 percent of the U.S. population, accounted for about 71 percent of reported gonorrhea cases and almost half of all chlamydia and syphilis cases in 2008.
- Black women 15 to 19 had the highest rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea.
- 13,500 syphilis cases were reported in 2008, an almost 18 percent increase from 2007.
- 63 percent of syphilis cases were among men who have sex with men.
- Syphilis rates among women increased 36 percent from 2007 to 2008.
