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Chode
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Appearing in a vocabulary near you, Chode is a word that has frequently sparked controversy mainly due to the fact that no one truly knows what it means. Various definitions exist in the real word. In recent years, especially with the invention of the intenetz, the word has become moar integrated into society and, naturally, has produced more lulz among certain groups of people, mainly, people who either (a)Heard the word their first time and lol'd (b) Guys who lol and can't believe chodes actually exist or (c) Guys who actually have chodes and hope their lol's cover up their deficiency.
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[edit] Definitions
According to Oxford Dictionary, chode is actually the past-tense form of chide, which means to yell at someone really loud or to approach someone in anger. Some examples of this word used in today's vocabulary any vocabulary include the Bible and anyone on fanfiction.net that uses the word yelled or scolded too much in their story so he or she clicks for synonyms in MS Word and comes up with chode. Clearly, no one uses the word chide, chided, or chode anymore for such purposes unless they're trying to come off as educated or clever.
The G-version has chode defined as a moron or someone who's a redneck. They claim this is actually from John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath, in which one of the character's names is Tom Joad, which sort of sounds like chode. Obviously, if you believe this, you are already a moron and should take every opportunity to call yourself a chode in any conversation. Even so, if you knew this definition without reading this article or stumbling upon it proir, you may have a chode, which you will read on about later.
Some argue that chode is actually the name of a three-eyed, purple alien who is vertically challenged and runs some shitty spaceship on a TV show. Of course, this TV show originates from Canada, and anytime the Canadians claim to have invented a word, the rest of the world laughs at their faggotry.
Still, there are dirty definitions of the word chode. The first, lesser known version of the word is a mixture of blood, shit, and semen. Obviously, the only time this would come up in conversation is from a sick fuck explaining his Saturday night to someone via MSN Messenger. Still another definition is the skin between ones sack and ass. This definition is highly used by people who grew up in mormon based communities or who just refuse to believe their are real-life instances of the next defnition. The true definition of the word is as follows: chode is used to describe a cock that has more girth than depth. In other words, a pimple-shaped cock, or a doorknob-shaped cock. Since true chodes are supposedly rare, it can basically refer to a small cock. This is the most accepted definition, and should be used to clear up any confusion regarding the word's meaning. Anyone who thinks differently obviously has a chode.
Used in a conversation, chode can be used like this:
Everyone will understand exactly what you mean.
[edit] Types of People who have Chodes
Chodes are very special in that they are the bottom of the barrel when it comes to cocks. No woman worth her salt would ever date a man who has a chode, let alone sleep with one, unless they are very fat or are a twisted combination of blind and quadriplegic. Even gay people can't stand the chode because it won't wedge itself far enough into their ass, making them sad. Typically, owners of chodes are really, really fat men who jerk off repeatedly, thus increasing the aging of their cock and decreasing the size even further. These people will typically cry often, have man boobs, and will wear pants that, when they sit down, will give them the appearance of a camel toe. Or, if they're truly sick fucks, they will find pleasure in fucking their dog, because a dog can't laugh. These men are doomed to be basement dwellers their entire lives. Woe to them.
Also, it is documented azns can be victims of chodes. To them, there is still hope of finding someone, or something, because their are millions of Americunt weeaboos who want anything azn. Just squint your eyes further and smile. Unless, of course, you're fat, which is a double-whammy for an azn. For these types of people, they no longer have chodes - it's too far sunk in to be called a chode anymore. The word to describe it? There are none. For now, just use "too small to be called a chode" in your match.com profile.
One can also easily detect a chode based on ethnicity. Actually, there's a lot of studies suggesting this isn't true. Many studies have actually dispelled the myth of niggers having large cocks, stating many nigra cocks are actually about the same size as that of the white man. Typically, though, azns, Indians, and the French are more susceptible to the short dick syndrome. On the opposite side of the spectrum, Easter Europeans often have been found, more times than not, to have generally larger sizes. If you fall into this category, don't pat yourself on the back just yet - you still might have a chode and if you do, then you fail at life. Good thing you're not azn.
Furthermore, it should be noted that there's a general rule regarding chodes and dick sizes: the more one boasts about the size, the smaller it truly is. Kind of like a reverse-Pinocchio rule, amirite?
[edit] Real-Life People who have Chodes
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
- Arguing said definition
- Nigras can have chodes too.
- A chode's story. If you like this story, you might be gay.
