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Chris Hansen

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Hey there! Why don't you have a seat?
Hey there! Why don't you have a seat?
Hansen ready to protect and serve.
Hansen ready to protect and serve.
Chris Hansen: He just don't give a fuck. (Unless you rollin' out fo' sum CP)
Chris Hansen: He just don't give a fuck. (Unless you rollin' out fo' sum CP)
Chris Hansen is currently hunting Pedobear
Chris Hansen is currently hunting Pedobear
Dont mention CP.
Dont mention CP.
Well, your fucked now.
Well, your fucked now.
Chris Hansen busting Pedobear.
Chris Hansen busting Pedobear.
No one is safe.
No one is safe.
Chris Hansen - logging your chatz.
Chris Hansen - logging your chatz.
Chris Hansen back in the day
Chris Hansen back in the day
Sneaky, sneaky.
Sneaky, sneaky.

Chris Hansen is an old media troll who baits unsuspecting pedos into traps set up by Dateline in concert with Perverted Justice for the lulz. The pedos are sourced from MySpace and Cregzlst, ensuring Hansen a limitless supply of childfucking prey. Hansen's secret is that even if the supply of pedophiles does run out, he will still have a show because he uses hot 18 year old girls to lure the "pedophiles" into the house, so really the men are trying to have sex with an 18 year old girl who claims to be either 13 or 17, making them innocent, but trying to bang a 17 year old is still pedo. This of course doesn't bother Hansen, who is simply doing it all for the lulz and by doing so Hansen inevitably shuts down 12chan without knowing it for at least another week. so i herd u liek entrapment?

That's cool, except Hansen's TV persona and vocal inflection drips with such intense smarm that you almost feel bad for the kiddy-diddlers. Hansen reads their chat logs with incredible smugness before pretending to let his victims go so they can get pwnt by the man for the Dateline cameras. Sometimes, the cops are wearing camouflage in the bushes, so when they bust the internet pedo, it looks like they are being attacked by a plant monster.

Recently Hansen made a "hidden camera investigation" with Dateline on iPod thievery, lol

Based on his last name, he is Jewish.

Ironically, he is also known to be a pedophile-in-secret. He would usually have buttsecks with unsuspecting girls and then use them to lure other pedophiles as a cover-up.

In short, Chris Hansen is justice.

Contents

[edit] Chris Hansen breaking news as of March 2 2008

A federal judged has ruled that the sister of a man who committed suicide after being filmed on NBC's To Catch As A Predator may sue the network for $100M.

Louis Conradt, a 56-year-old assistant district attorney, shot himself in November 2006 after he was confronted at his Terrell, Texas, home by police officers. He was expecting delicious 13 year old shota. They were accompanied by an NBC news crew that was there to film his arrest.

In his ruling, the judge said, "A reasonable jury could find that NBC crossed the line from responsible journalism to irresponsible and reckless intrusion into law enforcement."

Chris Hansen is killing pedo-bear and must be stopped.

[edit] List of Internet Celebrities who have guest-appeared on Dateline


[edit] In summary, here are the hottest 16 year old girls ever

[edit] In summary, Chris Hansen is definitely Jesus

Chris Hansen always comes prepared. He has THE BEST lines to enter with.

If there is a pedophile looking to get some from a minor, Chris Hansen is the ultimate cock block, in a good way.

I would want to have Chris Hansen's babies. His wife is too young to have babies.

Chris Hansen doesn't take shit from emos.

Chris Hansen tends to pwn people like you.

Chris Hansen should be every Counter-Strike players name.

Chris Hansen appears on 4chan somedays in an effort to catch pedobear.

Chris Hansen is a master of disguise.

Chris Hansen is very adamant about wanting you to have a seat, preferably right over there.

Chris Hansen is paid $10,000 by dateline every time he says "I'm Chris Hansen, from Dateline NBC" Even after its either been established or the cock juggler runs away.

[edit] Lulzworthy moments


Chris Hansen even hunts for family members


Camera crew out of fucking NOWHERE


guy makes a return appearance


--my back!!!


Fishin' for sex with a 12 year old girl! Sick burn. (¡volume warning!)


Don't taze me bro!


A cat is fine too. An officer disguised as Pedo bear makes the arrest. Chris Hansen can only imagine and fap to what would happen if he hadn't fucked everything up. Ima Fuck you in there!


at least 100 years from now, poorly designed Hansen clones will still be catching predators.

[edit] Chris Hansen on 4chan

[edit] Chris Hansen on Habbo Hotel

[edit] Links


Image:Pedobear_small.gif Chris Hansen is part of a series on Child Abuse.


Chris Hansen is part of Classic Solid Chanspeak
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