Church of Euthanasia

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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The Church of Euthanasia (http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/) believes we should pwn ourselves and our offspring and possibly everyone else (not necessarily in that order) in order to create a balance with the natural world.

Typical Euthanasian

The four pillars of species-deletion are:

• Self-pwning
• In the ass
• Use a coat hanger
• Eat your neighbor (or yourself) if he/she is thinking about putting sperm in the mature vagine

The last pillar can be ignored if you follow the following rule:

• Absolutely no grass on the playing field

The logical chain goes like this:

1. Assumption: Humans are selfish and egotistical and have a drive to reproduce.
2. Solution: Convince said humans to become an heros.
3. Result: A few depressed people get ideological justification for their self-pwning, while everyone else goes on being selfish and egotistical with their drive to reproduce.

Also, restoring a balance with the natural world is stupid. The natural world can eat a dick. Forced extinction through nuclear weapons or self-replicating ovens is a better solution.

Jeremy Rifkin, in a talk given on the site, talks about building "species consciousness." Unfortunately, the Jews must be destroyed before we can build such a utopia. And jews are really fucking powerful.

Serious business Euthanasians have been known to hang around suicide sites such as alt.suicide.holiday, in order to convince sad people that suicide really is the solution. This is the way that a Euthanasian can approach sainthood. Just like Mormons who have 12 kids get to drive a really big fucking SUV in their mini mall heaven, so Euthanasians who convince people to kill themselves get to enjoy this heavenly suffering boneyard we call planet earth.