Code Geass
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion is a clever and original animu that became the cancer of /a/ for the whole summer of 2008. Originally intended to be named "Cowd Cheese: Sausage of the Rebellion", the show is still known as the world's longest-running series of Pizza Hut commercials.
Pizza Hut, thinking they could get a bigger piece of the Japanese global market, wrote and produced an epically gay anime that included such original elements never seen before in the genre: giant robots, large-scale military invasions, heaps upon heaps of still-attractive bishie corpses and more tits than a Playboy shoot. These were all included in an effort to attract a wide audience. Japan paid them extra, so the show also features a staggering amount of the bullshit post-war propaganda that Japan has so desperately tried to feed the world.
The result, against all odds, was not an altogether bad show, but then again one can only speak purely in terms of comparison.
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[edit] The Show
The anime takes place in an alternative-history world where Japan has gotten pwned by the Holy Empire of Britannia thanks to the latter's giant rollerskate-wearing robots, which are obviously more effective than tanks and other conventional weapons.
Despite having killer-cool mecha (and lots of female military officers with e-size tits), Britannia is still just a bunch of English Nazis who want to take over the world and do what Hitler would have done had he lived on.
And because the Japanese love them some historical revisionism almost as much as increasingly bizarre sex practices, they have taken great pains to ensure that no one notices that Britannia is doing everything the Japanese did to the Chinese during World War II).
[edit] First Season
Lelouch Lamperouge is the repulsively unlikable main character -- a pretentious bitch who lives his life in the lap of luxury, surrounded by beautiful women whom he has absolutely no attraction to. This self-indulgent lifestyle apparently is not enough for the spoiled aristocratic cunt, so for the sake of the plot (and nothing else) he one day wakes up with a terrible case of butthurt over the way the Japanese people are being treated.
He enthusiastically joins up with the local Japanese revolutionaries, but because he didn't have an invitation he had to convince them that he was worthy. Reluctant to admit his sexual preferences, Lulu (his nickname -- as if you didn't think he was gay already) was suddenly accosted by a green-haired bitch everybody thought to be dead -- in doing so, he promptly receives unique paranormal superpowers called "Geass".
Things get needlessly complicated when it turns he's the son of the Emperor of Britannia himself, but because Lelouch is so noble and true to his word, he sallies forth to perform heroic acts for great justice against his father's evil political state.
His best friend fiancé is Suzaku Kururugi, a green-eyed, brown-haired Azn (because clearly Azns always have green eyes and brown hair) who has decided to join the Britannians because he firmly believes in his childhood ideals. Although the two are best buds engaged to be married IRL, they only fight when they're inside their Mechs because they don't know they're actually not enemies...kinda like another anime you may have seen.
Lelouch declares himself the defender of justice, assuming the name Zorro Zero. After creating the Black Knights as some form of terrorist vigilante group, he starts to fight back against his own nation.
During the course of the show (and again, for no particular reason), Lulu finds his awesomely hot sister Euphemia, who professes a pressing need for white and fluffy storyline development. Lulu objects, but after being offered to get into her sister's panties (no, srsly, there's that one episode where he says his sis was his first fuck love) he readily reconsiders.
The two of them gather a whole lot of people in a closed stadium surrounded by armed military men -- always an auspicious start for creating a "white and fluffy world." While there, Euphemia asks Lulu to go to a dark backroom, where he accidentally her, causing the bitch to spontaneously go where Harry Truman pussed out and give some Japs the smackdown they richly deserve. She grabs herself a gun and starts to party down like a pro.
Lulu, in order to hide that he made such a colossal error, kills her, causing yet another needless character death (there are several in this anime). Watch the JewTube clip to see it in action:
He then proceeds to go on an epic rampage against the Britannians and doesn't afraid of anything. He raises a huge fucking army, and almost takes over Japan, before his army of inept morons goes down in spectacular failure and start to lose the second Lelouch leaves to go save his useless, whiny, cripple loli sis. Lelouch's army apparently forgot there's a reason why Britannia controls 2/3rds of the world.
When he arrives to the place he thought he'd find his worthless cunt of a sister, a challenger appears to start the decisive battle...and the WHOLE MOTHER FUCKING SEASON ENDS RIGHT THEN AND THERE.
[edit] Second Season (R2)
It was already clear for the viewers that the continuation won't be the same again when they introduced the new shota character, Rolo. Somehow, it seems that "R2" goes for the "Remake n.2" as the whole plot was reset and that the first 7 episodes were made by following THE SAME SCENARIO as the first season, making the watchers wonder whether it will be a similar faggotry as Hirurashi, a.k.a "nipah~" where they reset the timeline every couple of episodes.
After re-experiencing the whole plot, Lelouch finds himself totally owning the world this time, somehow making a pretty fair trade-in of China against Japan. He also finds himself surrounded by a whole new bunch of morons, which includes a Chinese princess with her pedo knight, a lover fake brother that he intends to use and dump later, as well as some hundred of other nations' leaders that he infected with Geass so that they would join him. (I mean, why the hell didn't he do so in the first place!?) So he finds himself being the leader of half of the world and goes on to kick his Father's ass who owns the other half of the world.
Apparently some moron from Sunrise (the studio that cranked out this trainwreck of an anime) had the bright idea to make every episode end the same way as they did by ending the 1st season to make the show popular. And guess what, all the loyal Azn and American fans took the bait. From then on the plotline becomes pretty unpredictable predictable -- at the end of each episode, one or more of these totally unpredicted happenings occur, like:
- Good guy becomes bad guy
- Bad buy becomes good guy
- Unexpected truth is revealed
- One of the main characters dies
- Somebody turns out to actually NOT BE DEAD AFTER A FUCKING NUKE-LIKE THING BLOWING HIM/HER UP;
- All the bad guys become good guys, and they all turn against the remaining
bad guysgood guysfaggots.
After Rolo taking Lulu to the Wonderland of Joy and dying from the divine punishment of using ZA WARUDO move that was way too cool for a faggot like him, then the main hero finds his fucking sense of life and levels up his Geass to level 50, and his ability gains...um, nothing new basically, except that he can now also use it against a floating Jupiter-like thing on the ceiling that's located in a hidden dimension in his basement. He also secretly marries Suzaku and finds himself in a world turned upside down face, meaning he's now in control of the bad guys side half of the world fighting against the good guys half of the world. The show then meets an unexpectedly simple ending, and everybody lives happily ever after.
[edit] Opening Themes
Like many animu, Code Geass features way too many opening sequences and songs to go with them. Here's a rundown:
- FLOW - COLOURS
A huge, booming, epic anthem that impresses nobody because it clearly tries way too fucking hard
JIBUN WOOOOOOOOO~
- Jinn - "Raion"
It's a Japanese girl shrieking into a microphone in a failed effort to "sing", but it sounds more like the audio to some weird porno where a Japanese girl shrieks into a microphone while scraping her vagina with sandpaper.
- access - "Hitomi no Tsubasa"
Mind-melting, ultra-hyper explosion of glittery, super-saccharine J-Techno from the people that brought you the soundtrack to Gravitation. Listening to it will make the world seem sparkly and wonderful.
[edit] Those Damn Robots
If you'd like to know more about the sexy mecha featured in Code Geass, take a look here. Yes, it's text. Shut up and click.
[edit] Characters
- Lelouch: Main character of the series. Watched V for Vendetta one too many times and decided to go for it because, well, he has superpowers, after all. He has a strange tendency to mercilessly kill people around him for no apparent reason, perhaps because of their knowledge of his true sexuality.
- Suzaku: Lelouch's
childhood friendboyfriend. Had the bright idea that killing his dad would bring peace and joy, and stop Britannia from taking over Japan.Even after his anus was used as the daily cumdumpster by his Britannian fellow soldiers, he still keeps on believing he does it for a a righteous and worthy cause.
- Rolo: A 16 year old boy who is clearly asking for it like the demented fanboy that he is. He keeps humping
his brother'sLelouch's leg with hopes to fulfill his dream of becoming just like him. He can cast Za Warudo, but because of his inherent weaknesses, the results are always embarassingly bad.
- Kallen: A pink-haired half-Azn who joins the Black Knights. Looks exactly like Sakura from Naruto, which makes her that much more unlikeable. She has a set of rockin tits, which you get to see in the early episodes.
- Princess Euphemia: MURDER PRINCESS YAAAY!!! OMG SHE'S SO CUUUTE I WANNA GIVE HER A HUG -- OH SHI-!!!
- Ogi: While he pretends to be a Jap, his curly hair and the yellow badge from the Third Reich on his jacket all reveal that he is in fact a Jew. He was one of the original terrorists, which should surprise nobody, as it is well-known that Jews did WTC.
- Villetta Nu: A silver-haired bitch who is significant only because she was one of the first people Lelouch mindfucked, and because you get to see her tits. Later on she gets amnesia and lives with the Jew of the show (Ogi) until he impregnates her at the end of the 2nd season.
- C.C.: Lelouch's ladyfriend who follows him around like an ugly, green-haired puppy. Gave Lelouch the Geass early on in the show. She was born hundreds of years ago as part of another needless plot twist. After spending many years excelling as a reliable cumdumpster for everyone she met, her vagina was, despite her eternal youth, worn out so badly that she wanted to die in peace, with cum all over her face.
- XCVIII Emperor of Britannia, Charles di Britannia: He's the emperor of 2/3rds of the world. His favorite quotes are "ALL HAIL BRITANNIA" and "People are not equal." He dies by turning into a magical rocket. He seems to have been the only heterosexual man in his family, and went for it so much that the number of his legitimate predecessors alone is measurable in three fucking digits. Not mentioning the fact that he admitted having preserved Lulu's mom's original body so that he could use it later.
- Marianne: Lulu's mother and one of Emperor Charles' whores. She's
deadstill alivedead, and was a whore for her whole fucking life.
- Li Xingke: The Chinese guy that appears in the second season. He's a combination of both Lelouch and Suzaku except he's less gay and less retarded, which seems to contradict the entire show. He's also an active pedo.
- Nunnaly: A crippled and
notblind sister of main hero Lelouch that does nothing until the very conclusion of the show where she has the RED BUTTON AND SHE SO KEEPS PRESSING IT until it falls out of her hands because of her being a fucked up cripple.
- Diethard: Who cares? He's dead.
- Nina: A fugly emo failure both at life and attempting an hero that is only good at raping tables and inventing a nuke. See the Jewtube vid on how she rapes the table.
There's also like a hundred other characters in this show that nobody cares about or remembers.
[edit] Just What the Hell Is This "Geass" Shit, Anyway?
Geass, also pronounced as "gay-ass", is a sexually transmitted disease that modifies your DNA and gives you amazing powers. This skill can be leveled up, and by reaching the level 99 you can gain access to God Mode.
Lelouch's "Geass" ability is to make anyone do whatever he wants, no matter how absurd or immoral. Regrettably, what he really should have used it for never appears in the series, but then again, that's what Yaoi fanfiction is for, amirite?
[edit] Wait, Haven't I Seen This Shit Before?
Why yes, yes you have.
After watching a few episodes, you'll get this strange feeling of déjà vu. You see, this plot was originally played out on Death Note which sucked, and before that in Final Fantasy Tactics, which sucked more than the last two combined.
The main difference between Code Geass and Death Note is that the latter is about creepy Emo kids, while the former is about significantly-less-creepy-and-emo Terrorist and Fascist kids.
The similarities to Final Fantasy Tactics make the blatant plagarism even more blatant: Lelouche is a noble who wants to overthrow the system by working outside it (like Ramza) and Suzaku is a lower-class born kiss-ass who wants to overthrow the system by working inside it (like Delita).
Both contain and equal amount of tiresomely ambiguous homosexual situations, as if Shounen Jump and Square Enix (respectively) needed any more faggotry.
To make matters worse (or better, in case you hate this show) Rolo's special attack was also stolen from Za Warudo, which came from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, an awesome manga that arbitrarily became the gayest thing in the world.
[edit] Manga
Someone had the bright idea to add some mango to this ghastly trainwreck of an animu -- in fact, to add several mango that all have various degrees of failure to account for.
The best known of these gems of literature is Nightmare of Nunnally, where Lelouch's helpless, worthless, whiny, stupid, and just plain annoying sister Nunnally suddenly gets amazing superpowers. She can summon a stylish mecha that looks totally nothing like something from Neon Genesis Evangelion, has the ability to see into the future and, most importantly, she can create a doppelgänger to finally satisfy her natural needs -- as she's a cripple and can't reach it otherwise.
However, the actual manga has remained hidden for a very long time, and only recently has a link to it been discovered. Click here to discover the true meaning of TL;DR.
[edit] Rating
- Action: 9/10. It's about taking over teh world and giant robots, after all.
- Lulz: 4/10. The parts where it tries to be funny, fails. There are exceptions: the moment when a chink named Mao tries to chainsaw C.C. and stuff her into a bag, and when the Britfags decide to burn down the Jap ghetto and shoot all the motherfuckers for teh lulz.
- Faggotry: 20/10. Out of all animu you'd ever watch, this one doesn't even need to be shooped to look gay, screenshots alone are enough. The way main characters look and dress (and jump) are shockingly homosexual, especially the combined efforts of Lelouch and Suzaku. Gayness is outright implied in more than a few parts: when Rolo approaches Lulu saying "I will be always with you" and, and practically every other conversation between Lelouch and Suzaku. Just look for "OH GEASS NO" on YouTube.
- Furry Fandom: 4/10. They dress up in animal costumes for some reason in one episode, and the pink-haired cumwhore dresses as a giant green beaver in another.
- Product Placement: 30/10. Just for the Hell of it, try taking a shot every time you see a Pizza Hut logo. Be warned: you may die of alcohol poisoning.
[edit] Yes Britannia, There Is A Gallery
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[edit] See also
[edit] External Links
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Code Geass is part of a series on Anime. |
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