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Codey Porter

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Sad to say,
there is an hero in this article.

S& HERO

Naruto eh?

Codey "Code Red" Porter is was the name of a 10-year-old boy and amateur magician from the state of Washington. It is claimed in the media that the nickname was derived from his name (Codey) and the colour of his hair (red). In fact, it was simply what his parents and close friends would scream whenever he picked up anything sharper than a wooden spoon.

In March of 2008, Codey attempted the dangerous act "Sandbox Coffin," an act he saw on the shitty ninja anime Naruto. Porter accomplished the feat, but died soon after in a ~~tragic~~ hilarious turn of events. Naturally, Anonymous leapt to the scene with cruel jokes, lulzy shoops, and fake Myspace accounts. Thus, the death of this class A Narutard brought much joy to the internet, and Codey Porter is now known as the s& hero.

Most argue Codey and his families' situation is extremely sad and depressing. As such, if you were to feel upset by the wikification of this topic; please consult our offended article and let us know.

1 So, Here's What Actually Happened
2 Bel-Air
3 Youtube Tribute
4 Youtube Tribute #2
5 That Boy Has Got To Stay On Top
6 Not Alive
7 Sand Hero
8 What The Tubes Are Saying
9 Gallery
10 See Also
11 External Links

[edit] So, Here's What Actually Happened

On March 10th, 2008 he and a few friends decided to LARP Naruto. This resulted in an heroism when he requested that his friends bury his head in the sand box so he could imitate teh amazing power of Gaara of teh Sand's SAND COFFIN; proving once again that Naruto role-playing is serious business. Even for fifth graders.

FUN FACT: Codey was an organ donor, and his family allowed his organs to be used to benefit the community. It is presumed the family was required to clean the sand out of the lungs before donating them.

Obviously, the media dipshits had to jump all over this, covering the whole thing as a tragedy and blaming it on television, rather than the natural end of a stupid kid. One particularly ignorant news source reported that the boys were, "Trying to emulate a cartoon called Narutu Sand Ninjas." I mean, seriously, they can pronounce the fucking AZN reporter's name correctly, but fuck the name of the show that killed somebody. They even said his name out loud in the clip, for fuck's sake. Well, it is lulzy that Cody's official name is "DAH SANDMASTAH!"

According to his friends, they watched in horror (though they probably didn't care very much) as their friend was buried under the gruesome sand. However, some do speculate that this was not an accident of a fucking retarded kid, but instead a plot by Codey's "friends." It was rumored that Codey was used as a sacrifice by his friends in order for them to obtain the Mangekyo Sharingan. His friends wanted the Magenkyo Sharingan so bad that they killed Sandmastah, their close friend. Or maybe it was just bullying gone too far; they did say he was a really smart kid and his friends were probably budding alpha males. Either way, Codey Porter was an true S& Hero, and will be missed.

[edit] Bel-Air

Now, this is the story all about how
Code Red got flipped turned upside down.
And we'd like to take a minute, just sit right there.
We'll tell you how he ended up in the sand with no air.
In west Washington state, born and raised,
In the sandbox is where he spent most of his days.
Chillin out, diggin, playin all cool,
And watchin some Naruto outside of the school.
When he saw a guy named Gaara up to somethin good,
He did a Sand Coffin, and Code Red understood.
He had to role-play Naruto, but his Mom got scared,
She said, "You're not emulatin that show, you won't have any air!"
So he whistled for his friends, and when they came near,
Codey said he had a plan and would proceed without fear.
If anything, his friends could say this plan wasn't sound,
But they thought, "Naw, forget it. Let's put him in the ground!"
Code Red dove into the sand around 7 or 8,
And he yelled to his friends, "Hmmmmph Aaahhhhhh Hllpp."
Since his friends couldn't hear him, he got IRL b&.
Now he can sit up in heaven as the Master of S&.

[edit] Youtube Tribute

[edit] Youtube Tribute #2

[edit] That Boy Has Got To Stay On Top

Affectionate tribute

Beware of the Jawas

Watching Cartoon Network, with his head hung low

Couldn't get a life, it was a shitty show

Heard the roar of the crowd, he could picture the sqee

Put his eye to the TV, then like a distant scream

He saw one Gaara, just blew him away

He saw rings round his eyes, and the very next day

He got beat up for watching it in the window of a store

Didn't know what to do then, but he knew for sure

That one Gaara, felt good in his hands

Didn't take long, to understand

Just one Gaara, going way down low

Was a one way ticket, only one way to go

So he started digging

Ain't never gonna stop

Gotta keep on digging

He isn't gonna make it to the top

And be an sandbox hero, got sand in his eyes

He's an sandbox hero

He took one Gaara, an sandbox hero, sand in his eyes

An sandbox hero, won't come alive tonight

[edit] Not Alive

This was a failure.

I'm making a note here: EPIC LULZ.

It's hard to overstate

How much I'm laughing.

Dear Codey Porter,

You did what you did

Inside that sand.

For the good of all the lulz

Except for now you are dead.

But there's no sense crying

Now that this dumb kid's dead.

You just keep on trying

To keep sand off your head.

And so now then you can breathe

And your mind it is at ease

But not for Codey,

'Cause he's Not Alive.

I am still laughing.

I'm being so sincere right now.

All because you dunked your head

And killed you.

And thought that you wouldn't.

You actually thought that you would live.

As you squirmed your friends looked on

Because they all are fucktards.

Now these news reporters,

They just add to the lulz

And you're still in sand now,

Well at least you had balls.

Not that all that matters now

You great big fucking lolcow

Because I'm living and you're

Not Alive.

Go ahead to hell now.

I think I prefer to follow behind.

Maybe Satan will not anally rape you.

Maybe he'll like you.

That was a joke

HA HA

FAT CHANCE

Anyway, this song is cool,

It's full of epic and win.

Look at me still writing when there's LOLing to do

When I look around it makes me GLaD I'm not you.

I've got an oh-so-comfy bed,

And an air-surrounded head,

Unlike you, 'cause you are

Not Alive.

And believe me, you are

Not Alive.

And in a year you will be

Not Alive

I feel FANTASTIC but you're

Not Alive.

[edit] Sand Hero

Much like being an hero and An Legend, there is now a very special stategy for those that want to go out in style.

1. Play Naruto with your friends in a sandbox.
2. Choose to play Gaara.
3. Stick your head in the sand.
4. Don't pull it out, and make sure your friends don't either by hitting them if they come too close.
5. ????
6. PROFIT!!!

[edit] What The Tubes Are Saying

“	Codey was buried roughly from his head to his chest. At some point, he began thrashing around, but the children apparently thought he was playing. Eventually they figured out something was wrong.	„
—King 5 News

“	Parents say they are bracing for some difficult conversations. "I have a third grader at home, so he's going to come home with some information. So certainly, the need to edit and filter what he thinks about is important," said one parent.	„
—A Quote-Unquote Parent, from the same article

“	How does an "intelligent 10 year old" end up dead in a sand box?	„
—savvygirl

“	At least they don't have to pay the heavy costs for a full funeral, just stick a headstone in the sandbox	„
—Bill Hill

“	He was going to die a virgin anyway!!! He watched Naruto	„
—some EDiot

“	LOL	„
—Every other jewtube comment

“	Is this what Darwin called Narutural Selection?	„
—Anon

[edit] Gallery

S& Heroes? In MY sandbox?	Rule 34 on S& Hero	An S&man	SANDMASTAH!
How do I breathed sand?	S& crusher	S& Hero and An Hero...Separated at birth?	A box of s& is yours!
Bitches don't know bout my sandbox. An obligatory shoop.	ALL NEW! Codey Porter action figure!	COMING SOON! S& Hero: The Game	The tragic event captured by ED's Photoshop artist.
Sandmastah and his furry alterego, Sandmonstah.	S&mastah	No one fucks with him.	The great thing about being a sand ninja.
Pedoninja Orochimaru at the scene of the incident.	An Hero No Jutsu!	You're doing it wrong.	BEST VILLAIN FIGHT EVAR111!11!
	His cat tried to bury the rest of him and suffered the same fate	Just as Planned.	Desert Coffin.
	DIG! muthafucka', can you use it?!	Da Last S&murai.
How do I?