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Drug

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Drugs are pretty awesome

Like wow, man

~~Trust me, it gets ever better with the drugs~~ not if you're on LSD, trust me!

These were popular among kids no more than 99 years ago.

This man is definitely not on drugs

A drug is technically any non-nutritive substance which changes the function of the body.

Many people use drugs, psychoactive and otherwise. These people may or may not be homosexuals. Emos particularly liek drugs as a prelude to their cutting sessions and to also make themselves sound more hard core.

People who hate drugs often claim to be "high on life". Dr. Park N. Stones has studied this phenomenon and claims that these people are lamers who have never taken a mind-altering drug. These are the geniuses responsible for the war on drugs.

1 Why Drugs Are Good
2 Why Drugs Are Bad
3 Types of Drug
4 Drugs and Wikipedia
5 High Scores
6 Videos
7 Gallery
8 See Also
9 External links

[edit] Why Drugs Are Good

Drugs make you cool

Drugs are mostly good for social settings. They can make men and women alike easy to sleep with, and they tend to have no problem blowing hundreds of thousands of hours of your life away. You didn't really need them anyway. Drugs are great for laying back and not doing anything, which is great if you're in high school and won't be passing anyway, or if you plan on dropping out of college anyway because your life is really meaningless otherwise. Drugs are also good for making your shitty day great (while you're on them anyway), and they take the pain away from very miniscule happenings, such as losing your omg bf u datd so llong :(.

Drugs also make you think you're funnier than you really are, or more talented. Which is great when you're the only one in the room on drugs. While the crowd won't agree, you're the greatest guitarist or the most masterful debater in the room around you.

So go ahead, there really is no reason NOT to take drugs. Unless you're some liberal pussy with a fascist job or working on some fancy 'higher educated' lifestyle.

PROTIP: If you edit while under the influence, make sure to use the preview button before saving. This can save your username from having a string of edits in the article history of Roman Showers or other sick shit that you are expert in, you sick fuck.

[edit] Why Drugs Are Bad

Empirical evidence that drugs are bad

Drugs are bad, m'kay ?

Drugs are all called "drugs" because they are all exactly the same. If a crackhead on a comedown robs someone, it is because he was on drugs.

Therefore, any drug that can be called a drug (but not one that has been legitimately prescribed) is the same as crack. If it wasn't, they wouldn't both be called drugs now, would they?

Incidentally, whilst it is completely OK to take prescribed drugs in the advised dosage whilst you are ill, if you take exactly the same drugs for fun when you are not ill, they immediately become drugs, and therefore crack.

If you think the above is not completely retarded, the DEA has an opening for you.

It should be noted that taking too many drugs might make you think you don't need food, you goddamn hippy.

[edit] Types of Drug

[edit] Depressants

[edit] Alcohol

Alcohol will get you though the tough times, and ensure that more are ahead.

Alcohol is one of the most common strong drugs used by humans. Cheap white cider and poof juice is what the gay emo and wigger kids drink, while the more non-gay drink lager and vodka. Real men drink gasoline, but the pussies mix it. Women prefer cocktails. There are many explanations, but mainly because they do not want to get drunk drinking alcohol, their weak inferior female bodies can't take real drinks and drinking cUtE fuNneH drinks like "Sex On The Beach" makes them cool and hopefully gets them the dick they were longing for for so long. Butthurt girls prefer mojitos, a drink made at least 100 years ago by a Mexican faggot.

[edit] Inhalants

For when you're too poor to even be able to afford real drugs, or too retarded to know who to get them from, there are inhalants, a category that pretty much covers any chemical shit that you can sniff. Glue? Obviously! Petrol? Hell yes! Spraypaint? It's like candy! Shit? You better believe it! The panties of 16 year old Japanese schoolgirls? Sure, but only if they piss pure methylated spirits.

People who work in the education sector are particularly susceptible to getting hooked on solvent abuse. It's all about stress and proximity. Look out for the tell-tale circle of blue or black ink around your teacher's nostril. If you notice this, shout, "For shame, you solvent snorting bitch!" at the top of your voice. You have a moral obligation to do this. Think of the children.

[edit] Tobacco

Gentlemen

Tobacco is the most accessible and arguably the most ~~enjoyable~~ shittiest of the recreational drugs. Tobacco built America, so by extension people who hate tobacco hate America. Additionally, as taxes on cigarettes go to support education, they also hate children.

There was once a man who became a powerful head of state who went on a personal crusade to stamp out smoking. As well as mandating that no one around him smoke, he banned public smoking and spent vast amounts of public money disseminating anti-smoking propaganda. His name: Adolph Hitler. In spite of his groundbreaking advances in the field of Jew extermination he is still vilified to this day for this reason.

There are many great reasons to start smoking. As well as making you feel great, studies have shown that smokers are 25 times more likely than non-smokers to be cool. Also, by not smoking you are associating yourself with asinine anti-smoking douchebags such as the pussies at TheTruth.com, which funds itself primarily through gay prostitution.

You can also chew tobacco. Chewing tobacco is great because it gives you magic powers like spitting yucky goop on douchebags like liberals and feminists. This makes for great IRLtrolling especially on fruity guys who insist on wearing mandals as they step in your chewed tobacco wads.

[edit] Sedatives

this shit'll fuck you up gooood.

[edit] Cannabis

Sharing is caring

What do you expect?

A winning combination!

The completely awesome and amazing cannabis was invented at least 100 years ago in 1969 and legalized in the year 1982. Some people say that God made it. Others will disagree and say that Satan did, but everybody knows that actually it was invented in Colombia, because every single Colombian is an expert on the manufacture of every illegal drug. There are two types of cannabis: Schwag is dirty shit invented on the planet Mexico - growers of this type of weed are usually scumstache-sporting spics in nigger clothes. It tastes like rotten ass; don't smoke it. The other type is known as dank bud and it will fuck you right up. Retarded wigger assholes like to divide this into categories that don't even exist and invent strains ('hey man I got some totally crazy northern lolrus bhudda last night') in an effort to appear like they aren't just smoking the same carpet weed shit that gets made into hemp. The best shit you can get is White Widow. Call Sheneequa (or any other fat nigger bitch) for some hook ups.

Prior to the 1960s, cannabis use was mainly confined to Jesus and the guy who wrote Lord of the Rings. This all changed when Jerry Garcia invented the dirty hippy by forgetting to take a shower one day, thus increasing cannabis consumption by over 9000% across the world. However, it was still difficult to acquire at this time because The Beatles were using most of it to help them write songs about walruses and glass onions. Thankfully, they broke up in 1970 so the rest of the world could enjoy it. Soon, it was cheap enough that even black people could afford it. Today, it is used by a wide variety of people, except rednecks (who prefer cheap beer and meth), Heath Ledger (who is dead), and old people (who are already way stoned on prescription meds). Because of the simultaneous existence of Snoop Dogg, Willie Nelson, and Bill Clinton, many feared a shortage would arise, but thankfully Mexico stepped up to the plate last Thursday and increased production of 13 year old boys, who are known to grow weed in their closets (so their parents don't find out).

Cannabis goes by many slang terms, such as:

nothing
"No, mom, I'm not going to get high"
homework
CD
video game
"That's not mine"
baseball practice
Movie
school project
DVD
watchin' the game.
books
"I'm just going to the mall, bitch"

NB: Nobody has ever died from using marijuana. That means you could be the first!!!

[edit] Xanax, Valium and the Like

Easily the most widely abused type of prescription drug. Any doctor can and will give them to you if you so much as mention them or say hello. You can find these in pretty much any medicine cabinet, look for pills that end in "-pam" or "-clone." Best way to take them is to stick them under your tongue and troll message boards. Anabelle Lotus died because her wildebeest of a mother popped Xanax throughout her pregnancy, along with all the booze, dope and jenkem that goes along with the juggalo lifestyle.

[edit] Stimulants

[edit] Caffeine

Caffeine is for the kids who can't get coke because they're gay and don't have any friends. Frequent users of Caffeine include gamers who use it to stay up all night at LAN parties. There are also a number of middle school kids who think that they can get high by taking a large number of Caffeine pills; which you can, but not without dying a hilarious death. All it takes is about the equivalent of 95 cups of coffee in four hours to hit that mark. Unfortunately, the hallucinogenic margin is very small, and even a tiny bit too much can result in coma and death. Make sure to sell some to a group of kids at the park for lulz. Since it is also an ingredient in soda, coffee, and tea, over 9000 people a year become addicted.

[edit] Cocaine

Deviatedseptumcat knows what he likes.

Cocaine (also called food of the gods, or coke in its carbonated, caramel-flavored form) is a popular drug from the 1980s. Usually powdered , for easy carriage in bags or devouring on doughnuts. Cocaine is perfect for you and your mom as you both have incredible skill at ingesting white substances. As opposed to in the ass, it is usually "snorted" through a tube-like instrument, such as a rolled up dollar bill, or if you are really rich you may wanna snort it up through a 100 dollar bill which really fucks you up. You have to burn the bill afterwards to make an impression. However, note that most people who are snorting the crack form have never seen a 100 dollar bill in their lives. Please, EMAC.This drug can have seriously harmful effects, including brain damage, addiction, erosion of the nose, and the need to listen to Daft Punk. For more information about cocaine, please contact George W. Bush.

All cocaine in the world comes from Colombia. If you go to Colombia you will find that the natives live on a big mountain of cocaine, and every resident is an expert in its manufacture. This justifies dropping massive amounts of herbicide on the country from planes, which increases the price of cocaine and thus the profits of the suppliers, which helps win the war on drugs. If you disagree you hate America.

Best enjoyed when combined with hookers.

Pete Doherty ready for takeoff

[edit] Crack

Crack is also enjoyed by snails.

Yeah, E is pretty lulz

Crack is a smokably delicious form of cocaine which looks like a rock. It delivers the same effects as cocaine but the effects are stronger and shorter lasting. Crack is basically cocaine for niggers. Mediacrat does not do crack, as it is not a drug for the rich and beautiful. Whitney Houston, famous drug user, says that crack "is for poor people." stealing crack is a prosecutable offense it can result in a "nigger" popping a cap in your ass.

It was first created and distributed in the early 1980s by Whitey through clandestine operation with the sole purpose of keeping the Black Man down. Ever since then, people of all races and classes have taken part in enjoying this delectable high.

Crack is popular amongst whores because of how cheap it is. That's why they're called Junkies, WTF. On the Internet, you will occasionally encounter the sort of khaki-wearing, Conan-watching fuckwit who still considers the phrase "on crack" to be hilarious. E.g., "She's running around like a rabbit... ON CRACK!!!" This is grounds for a violent permaban from your flist.

[edit] Ephedrine

Ephedrine is a weight loss drug preferred by the morbidly obese and pro-ana 16 year old girls. It's important when taking ephedrine not to vomit it up with your half piece of toast and dixie cup of water during a fit of thinspiration. Anorexic 16 year old girls may also eat drugs such as amphetamines and their lesser relatives ephedrine and arsenic as a way of avoiding actual food. They also eat laxatives, but see these as the most recreational of drugs, and mainly take them for the sheer pleasure. Anorexics generally like to boast about their laxative intake.

[edit] Ecstasy

Ecstasy is the club name for methylenedioxymethamphetamine. Ecstasy is number one in the rave scene. Ecstasy makes you dance like a retard and participate in "glory holes", where you stick your penis through a hole in a bathroom stall and have it sucked on by a gay man, but it's ok, cause you can't see his face. You're utterly, utterly gay anyway. Everyone knows, they just have not told you, but they tell everyone else behind your back. On the bright side, women on ecstasy tend to take their tops off, providing for many boob shots and the possibility of hot sex (or lulz if the girl is fat). Makes you gurn like a retard, take your clothes off and then proceed with chewing your own face off and rubbing yourself.

Ecstasy tends to cause a feeling of epic win with the first few tries, and can even make you enjoy trance 'music'. Once the feelings wear off, all e-tards realise that the real world is actually full of Goatse and fail, rather than the utopia their drug induced delusions have shown them.

[edit] Methamphetamine

Lookin good!

Methamphetamine makes you so high that you cant find your own hands, and when you do find them, it turns out they're choking a hooker or beating up a kid. Some claim that methamphetamine is a synthetic substance cooked up in labs in trailer parks. They're lying. Meth is actually just ordinary spider eggs that need a place to gestate. Kind meth-heads, or "friends of spiders", give the helpless little arachnids a warm incubation in their noses, and when the spiders hatch, they escape through the host's pores, resulting in sores commonly called "speed bumps". These scars serve as reminders of the meth-head's kindness to God's creatures. If you see a meth-head with speed-bumps, approach them, look them right in the eye, and say "Thank you, on behalf of all the spiders". They'll understand - and if not, beat them over the head with the nearest blunt object, secure in the knowledge you tried your best.

[edit] Hallucinogens

Drugged up Yakui

[edit] Belladonna (NightShade)

Glory to White Jesus! Turns out, any plant which will kill you in large doses gets u high in smaller doses. Who'd a thunk it? Belladonna, also known as deadly nightshade, is a potent deleriant which contains the same wonderful magiks as jimsonweed. If you can manage to get the rite dosage, rather than dieing a horrible death, you will be rewarded with a horrible trip full of spiders and death secks from your favorite childhood toys. <math><math>Insert formula here</math></math>

If the author of the above has any experience with this drug, it's clear you should not use it.

[edit] DMT

Thanks to Ayahuasca, this man now knows exactly what to do.

"DMT", short for dymethyltryptamine, is the most hardcore psychedelic drug known to man. The two forms, 5-MeO-dymethyltryptamine and N,N-dymethytriptamine, are both extremely rare. While DMT can be found in many plants including blades of grass, the crystallized or powdered forms that get you high are incredibly hard to come by and are incredibly expensive. However, if you are a chemist, you can extract enough DMT from grass to trip many balls. The effects last from seven to ten minutes. Many people who have taken DMT report seeing aliens, and when asked to describe the aliens, all describe the same aliens. The most common ways to do DMT are smoking or snorting. After people do DMT, they will forever think that they are the shit because they found, paid for, and ingested the most ridiculous psychedelic on Earth, when in reality EVERYONE has tripped on DMT before. DMT is a natural chemical in the human body and is what causes dreams. Every time you go to sleep and start hitting REM sleep, you trip balls for 8 hours. DMT is also released in mass quantities when one is about to die, so the easiest and cheapest way to attain DMT and trip is to kill yourself right now.

If you live in the jungle, have access to a shaman and are batshit insane, then you may like to try a refreshing beverage alternative to smoking or snorting DMT. This delicious drink is called Ayahuasca and is for those who find LSD 'a bit vanilla'. Some of it's more positive effects are the ability to see millions of Mudkips along with the likelihood of explosive diarrhea and vomit that would put tub girl to shame.

[edit] DPH

Diphenhydramine is an antihistamine and active ingredient found in just about any benadryl they have at Walgreens. Taking between 12 and 20 can result in dreaming while awake and some fairly legit ball-trippage (seeing rocks turn into cats), but if you take it at home you'll probably just like...want to go to sleep, man. Either before or after throwing up. People who take DPH are boring losers who listen to too much Neutral Milk Hotel and read shit like Hegel.

PROTIP: Taking benadryl with acenometiphen will make you feel like you're in a storm at sea and subsequently divide your liver by zero.

[edit] Jimsonweed

Jimsonweed is basically like Peyote except that it gives you a bad trip 99% of the time. It is usually used by retarded ranchers and dirt-poor white trash who can't afford meth, or stupid hippie hikers. 9 times out of 10 you will end up OD'ing on it and end up running naked from the cops screaming about how YOU TOTALLY SAW GOD AND IT LIKE BLEW YOUR MIND MAN!

[edit] LSD

Illuminati control the world's supply of LSD, as well as every other illicit drug.

LSD is a drug that makes you think the furry you're fucking in the ass is actually a hell-bent hare whose face is melting off. Often, it will cause users to have Vietnam war-style flashbacks and think Quasidan's penis is coming to get them. LSD may, in some cases, also be referred to as LOLSD. It also melts holes in your brain, so many doctors recommend it. No it doesn't you fucking retard, LSD was deemed a remarkably safe drug. It's impossible to overdose on. It does however fuck your personality.

LSD is known for pwning 16 year old girls, all of whom are emotionally unstable for some reason or another and thus can't handle the realness. Never, ever give LSD to a 16 year old girl unless you're going to be leaving the scene shortly after and are certain that someone will stick around to give you the gist of what happened.

[edit] Morning Glory Seeds

It would appear you can now get fucked up off morning glory seeds. By eating 800 seeds (thats not a typo) you can produce a mild LSD trip that is followed by nausea and puking your guts out. Now go have fun kids while mommy pleasures herself to your stretch armstrong.

PROTIP: Crush the seeds into a fine dust, then mix into water and take interlingually (With more than one language? What the fuck?) It means hold it in your mouth and suck on it, asshole.

~isn't that what your mom did?

[edit] Peyote

Peyote will make you shit bricks, when you imagine youre a deer chargin it's lazer

Peyote is a safe, non-addictive, and introspective way to trip your fucking ass off. It's legal in the USA if you're a licensed Injun, but you can find the peyote cactus growing wild in the Southwest. Remove the buttons at the top of the roots, boil them in some water or chew them if you're lazy, and get ready to puke your fucking guts out. Now, this is the tricky part. The more you puke, the less effect the cactus will have on you, so try and keep it down by not thinking about Shay.

[edit] Salvia

Salvia inspired painting

Salvia will make you peel the flesh off of lazerbread fruit sandwiches to keep them away from your toes(or make "gravity light" crush you to death) for five minutes; then you'll sit around and say stupid shit. Its also for pussies and 13 year old boys who don't want to get in trouble with the good tasty illegal drugs. You also have to own a frigging gold mine to afford the stuff.

Salvia divinorum is still mostly legal in the US and Europe and induces chat logs like the following:

khelair (12:20): that was the highest I've been and the clearest the ah-pon have been
khelair (12:20): next time I'll communicate WITH them instead of just be a cog in their machine
neurophyre (12:20):
khelair (12:20): I'm serious
khelair (12:22): salvia requires a more freeflowing, looping surface
khelair (12:22): IN MULTIPLE DIMENSIONS
neurophyre (12:22): you should start a salvia farm
khelair (12:22): fuck THAT I need to start a CUNT
khelair (12:22): er, CULT, even

PROTIP: Chew the leaves instead of smoking and it will last a bit longer. Better yet, sell it all to some 5th graders and buy a real hallucinogen, you fucking pussy.

Satisfying and delicious

[edit] Shrooms

Yeah, that's about right.

All mushrooms contain psilocybe, a powerful hallucinogenic drug. It's a myth that you can only eat certain mushrooms, and that some are even dangerous if eaten. That's a lie perpetuated by anti-drug propagandist who don't want us all to find some mushrooms on our lawns and get fucked up. Look for white mushrooms that have caps, these are the most potent variety of shroom.

Shrooms can also make you miss pics plz:

<+schlorp> WE SAW HABBO NEGROS AT BURNINGMAN
<+schlorp> I NEED TO FIND THOSE GUYS
<+schlorp> they were so cute
<+schlorp> they blocked a street :D
<@ajt> schlorp: did you get pics?
<+schlorp> no!
<+schlorp> i was at the time unable to operate a camera
<+schlorp> due to rampant mushrooms
<+schlorp> :<

[edit] Dissociatives

[edit] DXM

this is the one you want.

DXM, short for dextromethorphan hydrobromide: a dissociative hallucinogen of morphinan structure found in cough syrups and cough gel capsules, such as Robitussin. The pharmacological effects of this drug put it in the same class as PCP, ketamine, and tiletamine. Basically at low doses it makes you feel like a spring, while at high doses makes you see everything you imagine. Since only veterinarians have access to the real dissociative, many 13 year old boys resort to this alternative form because it can be scored at most any pharmacy or grocery store. One shortcoming of this substance is its lack of addiction potential. As a result, many young dope fiends waste their precious drug allowance on inferior substances such as marijuana, cocaine, and alcohol. Another notable aspect of DXM is that users develop a superiority complex and renounce all other forms of dope fiend in favor of their new cough syrup drinking brethren. Shockingly there is significant evidence that regular use causes Gayness. Fortunately for them, some high-functioning DXM freaks created their own internet zion, called dextroverse, where they can live and trip in peace while exulting their holy substance. The entire community of 13 year old boys and drama whores can be observed in their natural environment at DVirc discussing such topics as "How to get high from drinking your own urine" and "ZOMG You troll I did not get raped by my father".

Some retards think it's a good idea to take Coricidin Cough & Cold, also known as CCC. What they don't seem to realize is that CCC contains Chlorpheniramine Maleate, an antihistamine which has been known to cause coma at high doses, ensuring a long, drawn-out, and care free life as a veggie. Smart people stick with Robitussin cough gels or Maximum Strength syrup, which contain nothing but 15mgs of DXM per pill or 5 ml, respectively. Robitussin regular strength is for idiots, because it only contains 10mgs of DXM per 5 ml syrup, and it contains Guaifenesin.

So powerful even Rave music becomes enjoyable.

[edit] Ketamine

Special K in its purest form.

Special K in junkie language. Contrary to popular belief, Ketamine does not lower blood pressure; instead, it can have a wide range of effects ranging from hallucinations to actually enjoying techno music, much like a raver. It can come in a variety of names and packages ranging from Ketamine Animal Tranquilizer (KAT) to "special edition with strawberries". Users of Ketamine may actually become a raver after prolonged usage. Ravers may attempt to cook Ketamine in your oven while you are not looking. Ketamine is also known to cause people to feel and act like they have Down Syndrome, often sitting in one spot for hours on end completely unaware they have the ability to move, or turn off the crappy music.

Fun fact: Ketamine made House 'think' he could walk (This lasted for no more than 99 seconds, resulting in butthurt and anti-lulz) Ketamine was used by researcher John C. Lilly to communicate with dolphins, maybe because of their interesting sexual behavior; See PCP below

[edit] PCP

This was a memorable episode of Cops

Also called angel dust, PCP is used mainly by crazy niggers who feel like pwning the shit out of themselves Causes you to hallucinate and think ur jesus, not only that but it enables you to punch actual craters into the Earth's surface. There even is a google earth community specifically dedicated to finding these PCP-induced craters. Usually you wind up stabbing your eyes out with a fork or ripping the skin off your arm, has also been known to turn people into cannibals. Some examples of crazy niggers on PCP:

a 17-year-old boy made a sexual advance on a 14-year-old girl after both had smoked "superweed" (here meaning marijuana dosed with PCP); when she resisted, he concluded he was being attacked by a wild animal and strangled her;
a man cut off one of his partner's testicles at the latter's request while both were high on PCP
one chronic PCP user "branded himself by burning a cross on his chest"
a 38-year-old man smoked superweed, cut off the head of his dog, and attacked a stranger on the street with a razor
high on PCP, a man waved down a car, shot and killed a passenger, then frolicked on the freeway firing in the air before being subdued
a 29-year-old man smoked a PCP "crystal joint," entered a pregnant woman's home, stabbed her, killing the fetus, killed her two-year-old child, and when found was running down the street with a knife, naked and bloody, yelling, "Hallelujah, I'm Jesus!" He later admitted that he did it for the lulz and the charges were dropped.
Rodney King was high on PCP when he accidentally wandered into the venue of the LAPD's Annual Nigger Beatdown and was mistaken for one of the legitimate participants.

[edit] Opiates

As a drug addict, at least you get to go out doing what you love to do.

[edit] Codeine

Difficult to spell and generally a bit shit, codeine is available in over-the-counter painkillers in England and Canada. These will fuck you up, but the thrill seeker must be cautious as these fuckers are laced with caffeine, as to head off the drowsiness that codeine induces. Codeine is also responsible for many lulz when one watches someone who hasn't taken them for the buzz overestimate how many pills they actually need to get stoned. The reactions of this are sleepiness, severe vomiting and loss of muscle function. In the case of epic lulz, it can cause death from severe depression of the pulmonary system (you cease to be able to breathe). In the case of the latter lulz, one should get the lffs over with, quietly leave the scene after wiping for fingerprints and call as a "concerned citizen" from an "undisclosed location". To do otherwise, or any attempt to be responsible in any way, leads to being Party V& and possibly script fodder for an episode of CSI.

Bayer brand Heroin - the sedative for coughs!

[edit] Heroin

this is what heroin does to people. See also: Dykepals

In comprehensive clinical testing, scientists have found heroin to be among the safest recreational drugs available today, with no potential for addiction, no significant impairment of cognitive processes or motor skills, and no long term effects on mental or physical health other than making people like you more. First invented in 1939 by German Nazi scientists researching the semenic content of the mentally retarded, it has since become a source of false inspiration for "artists" such as Kurt Kobain, Perry Ferrel, and Your Mom.

Heroin has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for its roles in such films as "Requiem for a Dream," "Ray," and "Paigegirl Pussifies Portland."

[edit] Oxycodone

Start taking them at random or if youre hardcore then eat them all

Hillbilly Heroin is an expensive painkiller that's really just Percocet without the Tylenol. Its only real 'high' is intense full-body itchiness that makes you scratch until you bleed. Despite the "I was naked in a burlap sack, wrapped in barbwire, fighting at least 100 feral cats" effect, it still causes junkies to rob pharmacies to get it, even though rolling around in broken crack vials in a thorn patch would be much easier.

Rush Limbaugh's fat ass once held up five Walgreens in an afternoon to get his Oxycontin fix.

[edit] Vicodin

Along with diazepam, Vicodin is one of the most over-prescribed, under-regulated drugs in the medical field, and (surprise!) one of the most commonly abused prescription drugs. It's basically morphine in a pill and is fanfuckingtastic. Vicodin pills usually contain large amounts of acetaminophen so you cant take too many at a time without fucking up your liver. Plus, youre double fucked if youre drinking. But hey, they do amazing things with organ transplants nowadays. Vicodin is also the drug of choice for Dr. Gregory House who gobbles up >9000 of them everyday.

PROTIP: You can use "Cold water extraction"[1] to pull the acetaminophen out and drink the rest of the good shit, allowing you to take at least 100 Vicodin without fucking up your liver!!

[edit] Other psychotropics

GHB Leads to rape.

[edit] Absinthe

Absinthe is what Czech people and supposedly "art" fags drink 24/7 to become really really fucked-up. If you drink 4 shots of Absinthe you get really high and start to see shit that's not real, which is why it is illegal in civilized countries (except in Switzerland.) Going to the Czech Republic without trying Absinthe would be like going to Las-Vegas without gambling or to the Internet without downloading pornz. It has recently been re-legalized in the U.S. and A, where at least six brands are now available - the French "Lucid", the Swiss "Kubler", and the Chicagoan "Sirène", which is actually quite good, despite what you may have heard about American skill at making booze. The other brands can be found here. The Czech style of Absinthe is basically the Budweiser of the Absinthe world, and lighting the sugar cube on fire is bullshit that was invented for tourists; if you try to do it at home, you're just going to fuck everything up and die.

[edit] GHB

GHB, short for gamma hydroxybutyrate makes you feel instant uberdrunk for like an hour. It is very dangerous at high doses and can get you raped up the ass by some desperate gay rapist.

[edit] Rohypnol

A great aid when doing a bit of raep, that is if you dont like the struggle (who doesnt?). Makes any fugly fucktard irresistible to the opposite sex. Especially useful when attempting to get a nice tight 16 year old girl. The trick with rohypnol is to slip it in their drink whithout then noticing, or else they will set big nigras on you. You should first practise on your sister, or mother. Gets extra points because they forget your face and can't rat you to the irl police - but they have reccuring terrifying nightmares and half memories, to haunt for years to come - epic win!

[edit] Fake/WTF

Fake drug is fake

[edit] Bananadine

For those REAL anarchists like to blow shit up, vandalize stuff, and who need to get high off of household materials in order to preach their call for social change; Bananadine is the perfect drug for you. Much like LSD, but gives you hallucinations of Charles Manson and burning flags.

Instructions taken from The Anarchist Cookbook.

[edit] Catnip

Catnip is what stoners smoke when they are all out of weed. It's best when you're all out of your dirty schwag weed, but it tastes like dirty vagina and burns the fuck out of your throat. But I mean c'mon! Look how happy and shit that cat is, man! That must be some good shit!

[edit] Jenkem

It's totally worth it, really.

Jenkem or "Jenk" is the failure of the drug community. Make jenkem by fermenting shit in a bottle or jar for about two weeks. Take jenkem by opening the bottle, then inhaling the contents deeply. If you speak English you have to say "Wow, this is the REAL FUCKING SHIT, man" while doing this. Supposedly gets you tripped off your ass, makes you fall over, or whatever. Jenkem is WTF, not fake in that it was originally discovered among African children who were really getting hopped up on it. See the links on Jenkem for details.

[edit] Nutmeg

Nutmeg is not a drug, but rather a spice used in cooking that contains MDA analogs. People too poor for crack may attempt to take nutmeg for a quick high, but those people are retarded. This is because Nutmeg kicks in at least 12 hours after you've forgotten that you've taken it. Connecticut is nicknamed The Nutmeg State. Also, it tastes quite similar to candy. Incidentally, the quantity of nutmeg you would need to injest for any type of buzz is extremely close to the quantity needed to die, so it's probably best avoided.

[edit] UPN

The typical unemployed 16 year old girl stoned off her ass

UPN, not to be confused with the television network for niggers, is short for Ureaphenylnitrate, a potent yet quickly metabolized hallucinogen and stimulant. Its discovery is relatively recent (see various publications in the European Journal of Clinical Pharmacology), yet it is gaining OL notoriety in such LJ communities as stoner_girls and drugwar. Preparation is nearly trivial: The intended user accumulates approximately 1 liter of urine in a small Nalgene container (the source of the phenyl group via the naturally flaked bisphenol A); which is permitted to completely evaporate. The urea particles are resuspended in a small volume (< 5mL) of water, and another small (< 5g) amount of saltpeter is added. The resulting mixture contains a significant amount of UPN, so should be tested for specific effects using a Q-Tip on the edge of the nostril before either snorting or inserting directly into the anus for maximum effect.

While certainly not addressed in the reputable publications, it is speculated that the discovery of this drug should be attributed to the esoteric S&M babyfurs, who discovered the drug during a noble journey of self-awareness involving piss, cutting, and explosives, during some kind of hiking adventure, which makes absolutely no fucking sense, because babyfurs are justifiably afraid of the sun (it is their pervert god that judges them).

[edit] Fictional

[edit] Melange or Spice

Delicious spice

This drug makes you live longer, endow you with psychic abilities, grant the ability to speak Portuguese, and increases the size of your penis. It tastes like cinnamon and those crazy Bene Gesserit bitches use it like crazy. It's made of sand worm cum, costs a hella' lot and is only available on the desert planet of Arrakis, also known as Dune. If you use it, make sure you use Visine so that your mom won't bust you for having glowing blue eyes.. Oh, and it can make you live forever and mutate you into a large worm. A more powerful derivative of Spice is the Water of Life, which is refined Sand Worm Piss, and can only be safely consumed by the one who is foretold in prophecy and if you are expect one hell of a trip. Mr. Miyagi of the Fifth Element, commonly mistaken as Luigi from the movie '300', once said, "Beautiful black holes eat rice in winter, for the long road ahead is not in Rock City'. Ah... what words of wisdom from Shaq in these troubling waters of golden flowers.

ATTENSHUN! Spice is a perfectly legal "drug" in most European countries. Spice is fairly cheap, easy to order thanks to the magic of the internetz and it makes everything seem pretty interesting. Including but not limited to drooling. Spice is made out of herbs, marshmallows (sic!) and flowers. It costs approximately 8 USD/5 UK pounds per gram. You need to smoke a lot of this shit, but it's totally worth it. Side effects may include smells of turqoise, sounds of green and some memorable hardcore anal pain after being lovingly sodomized. This should not be confused with the term butthurt. 'Tis not known as a sex-drug but gawdsdamnit, it SHOULD be!

AKA: Herbal Ecstasy, lame weed.

[edit] Medipacks/Healthpacks/Stimpacks

10 hp, but ohh so delicious. "Tsst, Ahh, Thats the stuff."

Medipacks are highly addictive, take away 10hp, and you never have enough of them. You'd kill entire alien armies, suck leprous cocks or srsly fuck it up with demons from hell, just to get your hands on you next "Pack". How they work actually noone knows, but as far as modern science can say, you have to WALK OVER THEM. Maybe the most dangerous thing about Medipacks is, that you can use them while having both hands occupied, for example while killing aliens or fapping while goatseing your anus.

[edit] Drugs and Wikipedia

BRB FBI

For first time users who are unsure of the correct methods to inject drugs, Wikipedia is very well versed in the subject. Their article on drug injection details the many ways to insert illicit drugs into one's body. For example, did you know that women are able to insert drugs into their vagina with much the same effect as a suppository? You do now! Thanks to Wikipedia!

[edit] High Scores

Holy crack binge, Batman

[edit] Videos

Common LSD trip.

even semi-famous people like to shroom.. then ponder the meaning of life...

Don't Smoke Dust!

even babies d00 da drugzzz. Apparently smoking crayons is the new black.

[edit] Gallery

Hmmmm, tell me more about this L S D

Dogs love it, too.

oh my

There's a reason some shrooms taste like ass

[Collapse Gallery] [Expand Gallery] 0

The newest Wii accessory	Fact: Nicole Richie licks her coke.	Cocaine is a well-known remedy for hay fever	Don't take the brown acid, man.
This is a typical PCP user.	DO NOT sort the chipmunk out! He is a fucking freeloader	enough said.	Now in convenient 40-ounce bottles
Remedy for many ills	Smoking makes you look COOL	series of tubes	W is a coke sniffin machine
This is why you should do drugs.	Typical brain on drugs. Order up!	Prolly the only way he can get through filming the show.	Typical crack user