California
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Home to Hollywood in the south, San Francisco in the middle, and Canadia in the north, California has the nation's first action hero governor in Arnold Schwarzenegger (aka The Governator) - an Austrian, Republican bodybuilder (Jesse Ventura, that lame wannabe in Minnesota, does not count).
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[edit] History
California was founded in 1849 by Carlos de California, the son of royal parents Juan de Mexico and Pilar de Puta. The area was originally created to serve as New York City's garbage dump. That privilege has since moved to New Jersey. Nothing interesting happened until it became the official haven of emos, hippies, wiggers, and wapanese, and been annexed by Mexico.
[edit] Government
The governor of California is Arnold Schwarzenegger, a cybernetic organism (Living tissue over a metal endoskeleton), who calls the state "Collyfornia". He is the first governor EVAR that has had movies made with him as the star actor. "I'll Be Back!" While good at acting, he sucks at being governor. His latest approval drop was due to his making bestiality in California illegal.
On May 15, 2008, California became the second state evar to make same-sex marriage legal. Even though the majority of voters were in favor of banning same-sex marriage, the Supreme Court said "STFU", and made their own law. Gays may now eat each other's feces in holy matrimony.
Currently due to a high influx of immigration, California is now partly ran by Mexico and Zapatistas.
[edit] Why Californians Are Idiots
It's the largest state in the United States that nobody gives a shit about, having the most revenue of them all. But when you compare the large population to the density to a state like New York, the population isn't anything special. It's home to many famous serial killers and child molesters. Also, nearly the entire state's population is the result of a century-long breeding experiment involving Oklahoma White Trash, Third World border-jumpers and hippies. Those who live in California are pussies who just can't take a little cold, and are also idiots as they voluntarily put their lives in danger with earthquakes, mudslides and other horrible disasters. California is also notable for its yearly wildfires. These fires are usually caused by furfags fleeing into the forests courtesy of Anonymous' valiant efforts to 'Kill it with fire.' There are also many lakes you can go to and have fun mountain climbing and jetskiing, among other fun ways to kill yourself for ever visiting this horrible state.. As mentioned below, the only thing good about California is that half of the state is warm. The other half wishes it were warm. Cities like San Francisco prove this by installing fake palms trees everywhere.
In short, California is like a bowl of cereal. Once you get rid of all the fruits and nuts, all you have left is a bunch of flakes.
[edit] Why this state doesn't suck
1. The weather (SoCal only). That is, if you like the weather constantly being as hot as Satan's anus.
2. Home to a bunch of EDiots and Dramacrats - ED:Map.
[edit] Why this state does suck
- Enough emos to create a website.
- Sympathy for people who are here illegally. DISREGARD THAT I'M A NORP
- Birthplace of Hollister and every other "trendy" clothing line (Although their parent companies are most likely incorporated in the East).
- Birthplace of paying $200 for a pair of jeans.
- Inspiring high school students that its cool to dress like a metrosexual.
- "We're better than the rest of the country" attitude. (Partially justified... just because.)
- Thinking lead, asbestos, and other toxic things are especially toxic in their state. See electrical appliance's manual.
- Greater concentration of people everyone hates, who also happen to be rich.
- Hippies. And lots of them.
- Californians in general.
- Full of gangs, which every white kid from suburbia thinks they be reppin'. especially in stockton NIGGAH
- Compton.
- Is why wiggers breed.
[edit] Economy
The United States loves California for its entertainment. However it hates California for EVERYTHING else. While California leads the way in revenue, it still takes a back-seat to other states in terms of overall wealth and capital trading.
[edit] All in All
For at least 100 years California has been home to pollution, child molesters, pornography, gays and Mexicans. Until recently it was home to the tech industry, which has since moved to India, knowing that sooner or later California will sink into the ocean, where it belongs. In 2006, IT WAS RANKED THE 8TH GAYEST STATE, with 4 of it's cities in the top 10. It was also ranked the DIRTIEST STATE IN THE UNION, as 5 of it's cities dominated the top 10 "Dirtiest Cities" list on Forbes.com. All in all, if the gangs don't kill you, the wildfires will. If the wildfires don't kill you, the earthquakes will. If the earthquakes don't kill you, the mudslides will. If those don't kill you, you'll probably just commit suicide to end your horrid life in this pitiful excuse for a state. Stay far away.
[edit] Notable Californians
- Fucking everyone who says "hella" -- NorCal fags only
- Nixon and Reagan -- Commiefornians are aware of the irony
[edit] Cities
- San Francisco -- Gays
- Compton -- Blacks
- San Diego --
MexicansCheap Labor - Los Angeles -- Negra spawning point
- Sacramento -- Skynet
[edit] See Also
- Californians That Use æ - The complete list of non-sucky Californians.
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