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From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Colombia is a big country in the north part of South America, it used to be owned by Spain but they got tired of putting up with all the coke heads so they moved out and thus began the big party. Colombia is Famous for its mountain range made of pure Cocaine, also known as the "Big Rock Candy Mountain."

Contents 1 Demographic 2 Politics 3 Get High 4 Pastimes 5 Religion 6 Pastimes 7 Famous Colombians 8 Occupations

[edit] Demographic

If you live in Colombia you are either an evil scum landowner/drug dealer with lots of servants or you are a servant. Colombia is often misspelt Columbia. It is also referred to as "Cocainia" or "The Land of Escobar." Colombians are often referred to as "Burrofuckers" or "Escobarites".

[edit] Politics

Pablo Escobar was the king of Colombia for many years before George W. Bush shot him with a 9mm and then installed his own personal Army of CIA trained burrofuckers to run the country. The present king of Colombia is called Alvaro Uribe and he just changed the constitution so that he can never be deposed from the throne atop the mountain of Cocaine.

If you want to get into politics in Colombia you can just bribe an election official with a couple of kilos of Cocaine. Depending on how many grams of Cocaine you supply to him depends on how many votes you get. Once the votes are counted there is a big party with lots of cocaine and the compulsory orgy of burros.

[edit] Get High

Colombians really like getting high so much so that they invented Cannabis and figured out how to grown Cocaine and Coffee.

If you go to Colombia you can get high, kidnapped or both at the same time.

Sometimes you will see armed revolutionaries in the jungle, but they are too busy trying to get high so they will often ignore you unless you try to steal their stash.

Most people don't know where Colombia is only that they have mountains of Cocaine and its somewhere near Miami.

Most Colombians left Colombia and now live in Miami, they are fighting for control of Florida with the Puertoricans and the Cubans. But since the Colombians are always trying to get high they are loosing the battle. Soon there is going to be an all out war with the Mexicans who own California.

If you see a Colombian on the street offer him Cocaine.

[edit] Pastimes

When not doing lines of coke, Colombians like to fornicate with Donkeys. They call them Burros. See Furries.

When you go to Colombia you will experience a big orgy of Burro's and coffee bean pickers on a big mountain of Cocaine.

[edit] Religion

Colombia is 100% Catholic. Most Colombians worship the Pope. However the Colombian sect of Catholicism is slightly different from the rest of the world. The head bishop of Cocainia dicovered that there is a part in the bible that is says that you can fuck your own mother or a donkey, or kill someone as long as you go to church. Consequently all assassins go to church before and after they kill someone, or have sex with a donkey (true story).

[edit] Pastimes

1.  Doing drugs
2.  Bribery
3.  Burro Fucking
4.  Drug Traficking
5.  Selling Babies
6.  Playing "Hide the Gringo" -[MarineCorps 1991] says HAHHA!
7.  Murder by chainsaw
8.  Tejo
9.  Drinking
10.  

[edit] Famous Colombians

1.  Pablo Escobar
2.  Juan Valdez
3.  Tirofijo
4.  Gabriel Garcia Marquez
5.  Juanes
6.  Juan Pablo Montoya
7.  Camilo Villegas
8.  
9.  
10.  

Shakira does not count because she's a halfbreed between a Burrofucker and some Lebanese prick.

[edit] Occupations

1.  Drug Baron
2.  Drug Dealer
3.  Drug Trafficker
4.  Drug Mule
5.  Drug Picker
6.  Drug Lab Worker
7.  Hitman
8.  Priest
9.  Drug Addict
10.  Corrupt Government Official
11.  Paramilitary