Commission

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

There are three kinds of commissions:

• The kind that explains how John F. Kennedy died (in a Warren Commission, scroll down)
• The kind that furfags make to support their basement-dweller lifestyle
• The kind that corporate entities give to recent art school graduates to make the walls match the products.

[edit] The WHO PWNED JFK? Commission

OMG

John F. Kennedy was a jowly old man who got summarily pwned in the head while riding in a motorcade in Texas. TV forced everyone in teh Western world, even Marilyn Munro, and its buddy cuntries to love the cripple JFK so their obsession with how he died live on to this very day.

Almost immediately, JFK's successor established the WHO PWNED JFK? Commission. More commonly known as the Warren Commission because they spent lots of time with bunnies at the Playboy Club, it was created to investigate who was behind the assassination. They eventually established that the culprit was none other than Cho Seung-Hui, going by the name of Lee Harvey Oswald at the time.

[edit] DevianTART Commissions

A typical DevianTART commission, done by the very talented and imaginative Zeriara

YU GIV TEN DOLLA?

A sophisticated e-prostitution method employed by people too physically disgusting to whore their bodies out for money. Most commissions are shat out by morbidly obese wapanese girls who often charge extensively to support their Inuyasha obsession and bribe librarians to use the library computers for hours on end. Typically, they live with their mom until she dies, and then some time afterwards. Perhaps unfairly, 13-year-old furfags make more art money than people who produce actual works of art. This ill-gotten profit is blown almost entirely on dry-cleaning bills and pre-loved plush toys.

see also DevianTART.

[edit] WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Typical work by a successful art major.

Talented, eager artists enroll in art colleges every day to spend four years of their lives perfecting the honorable trade of Art - In other words, learning how to fling paint at canvases. Once finished, approximately 1% of the new graduates are eagerly recruited to fill the walls of recently constructed restaurants and clothing stores with their artistic visions. As long as those visions match the products of the store and landscape surroundings and fit neatly into the corporate box, that is.

And what of the other 99%? They return home to create new, artistic methods of cooking ramen.