Gamer
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A gamer is someone who plays games, typically to excess whilst living in his/her parents' basement (NOTE: Gamers that would be readily recognized as female do not exist, only in the Netherlands).
Gamers are self-obsessed, incompetent, megalomaniacal people who, due to their inability to realize their freakish fantasies, resort to the alternate reality provided by various mind-numbing, pocket-emptying, IQ-draining, socio-politically insignificant games as an attempt to fulfill the need of their bloated egos and to mask the pimples, freckles, and pock-marks which crater their pale, sunlight-deprived faces, resulting in the non-existence of their social lives. If they do happen to have friends, they will be the first to say "Bros B4 Hoes" the second that friend meets up with a girl.
Most gamers shop at GameStop (GAME if they're Brits) despite the fact that they complain about their butthurt from getting ripped off from trading in their used games.
For a list of games, please see Category:Gaming.
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Association
Currently, the term is most commonly associated with electronic games: console games, computer games, internet games, etc. However, the term is also applicable to those who are obsessed with other types of games: board games, war games, role-playing games and even, god forbid, live action role-playing games (aka LARP).
Association of Gamers across the World
In China, stealing one's cybersword will get you killed.
The majority of world's gaming population resides in Korea. Koreans regularly neglect their children over games.
In America, you cannot like other games other than Halo and any other bland-as-fuck First Person Shooter, other wise you will be known as a weeaboo fag. You must also like listening to boring heavy metal, graphics that emulate all of reality and wearing things with chains and bats on them. This is due to the common fact amongst American gamers, they all want to join the military and become heroes, but there's no aliens and lazer guns, and despite how much shit they can spew from their whiny mouths, they are all in fact, gigantic limpdick scared babies.
One Illinois couple was so into WoW that they decided to have a fifth-trimester abortion rather than walk to the front door where he had been dropped off in his carseat. While eight days worth of gold farming might be seen as great success and win among gamers, the two didn't get to enjoy it once they were carted off in the Party Van. Other gamers in their party were heard to complain about having to start the quest all over again.
Evolution of Gamer
Ironically, like Pokémon, once gamers have reached a certain level of competence/knowledge of video games they evolve into the next stage depending on their situation.
Should the gamer be a reasonably good player and turn hardcore, they will amalgamate into whats known as a TourneyFag, a basement-dweller who has somehow managed to lose enough weight to leave their parents house and turn up at professional video game tournaments. They are commonly noticeable by their socially-retarded conversation skills and aspie-like BAWLing at anything they consider unbalanced or unfair in a video game, and won't stop bitching until they get their own way, or their parents pick them up to go home.
The alternative evolutionary state of a gamer is to become a Video Game Reviewer, where said gamer has refused to leave their basement of dwelling, nor have they developed a decent enough skill for competition. So instead they post videos of themselves swearing at 20 year old NES games no one gives a fuck about any more in a desperate attempt to be accepted by their other equally socially-retarded peers.
Typical Gamers
Adult Gamers
The AP reports that—OMG spoiler!!1!11!—most parents hate video games and secretly fear that their video game playing children are losers (if only they knew).
As an exception to that shocking generalization, the AP article offers the story of Marvin Paup, who apparently has a sugar-momma more gullible than even poor, dead Gweet:
However you may feel about using video games to distract kids from the bad touch, at least he's not asking how to juggle both feeding his child and his busy clan raid schedule.
Known Predators
See Also
- Angry Nintendo Nerd
- Bob's Game
- Computer graphics
- DOS game
- EA
- Hyper Forums
- Japan
- Klingon Boggle
- Korea
- LAN Party
- MMORPG
- Nerd
- Nintendo
- Online sex games
- Otaku
- Owlsamantha
- Sakra
- Tourneyfag
- Jack Tramiel
- Video games
- Video Game Reviewers
- Xfire
External Links
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