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Gamer

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typical gamer
typical gamer
Not your typical gamer. Note the bulging biceps.
Not your typical gamer. Note the bulging biceps.
Women can lead to character death and should be avoided.
Women can lead to character death and should be avoided.
gamers also look at porn in their mom's basement
gamers also look at porn in their mom's basement
IS TEH WINRAR
IS TEH WINRAR

A Gamer (More like gaymer, amirite?) is someone who plays games, typically to excess while living in his/her parents' basement (NOTE:Girl Fuckable girl gamers do not exist.)

Typical gamer activity.
Typical gamer activity.

Gamers are self-obsessed, incompetent, megalomanic people who, due to their inability to realize their freakish fantasies, resort to the alternate reality provided by various mind-numbing, pocket-emptying, IQ-draining, and insignificant games as an attempt to fulfill the need of their bloated egos and to mask the pimples, freckles, and pock-marks which crater their pale, sunlight-deprived faces, resulting in the non-existence of their social lives. If they do happen to have friends, they will be the first to say "Bros B4 Hoes" the second that friend meets up with a girl.

Most gamers shop at GameStop (GAME if they're Brits) despite the fact that they complain about their butthurt from getting ripped off from trading in their used games.

However, there is another type of person that plays video games. Thar called "people who play games". These are the kind who don't spend 99.99% of their life playing games. You can tell the difference because people who play games, have something we like to call "a life".

For a list of games, please see Category:Gaming.

Contents

[edit] Association

Currently, the term is most associated with electronic games: console games, computer games, internet games. However, the term is also applicable to those who are obsessed with other types of games: board games, war games, role-playing games and even, god forbid, live action role-playing games (aka LARP).

Gamers play games only for enjoyment. they play to get really, really good so that they can win against their friends high level characters so that they can claim to sell their accounts for profit.

[edit] Association of Gamers across the World

In China, stealing one's cybersword will get you killed.

The majority of the population of gamers are from Korea, and even have neglected their children over games.

[edit] Evolution of Gamers

Ironically, like Pokémon, once Gamers have reached a certain level of competence/knowledge of video games they evolve into the next stage depending on their situation.

Should the gamer be a reasonably good player and turn hardcore, they will amalgamate into whats known as a TourneyFag, a basement-dweller who has somehow managed to lose enough weight to leave their parents house and turn up at professional video game tournaments. They are commonly noticeable by their socially-retarded conversation skills and asspie-like BAWLing at anything they consider unbalanced or unfair in a video game, and won't stop bitching until they get their own way, or their parents pick them up to go home.

The alternative evolutionary state of a gamer is to become a Video Game Reviewer, where said gamer has refused to leave their basement of dwelling, nor have they developed a decent enough skill for competition. So instead they post videos of themselves swearing at 20 year old NES games no one gives a fuck about any more in a desperate attempt to be accepted by their other equally socially-retarded peers.


[edit] Typical Gamer

You know you've failed if a nigger can laugh at you.

[edit] Adult Gamers

OBJECTION!
OBJECTION!
A typical gamer want-ad in Gumtree
A typical gamer want-ad in Gumtree

The AP reports that—OMG spoiler!!1!11!—most parents hate video games and secretly fear that their video game playing children are losers. (If only they knew).

As an exception to that shocking generalization, the AP article offers the story of Marvin Paup, who apparently has a sugar-momma more gullible than even poor, dead Gweet:

 
“ 		 
Those who game with their children are likelier to be younger, single and part-time workers than those who don't, the poll showed.

Among them is stay-at-home dad Marvin Paup, 33, of Golden Valley, Ariz., who says he plays 30 hours a week with his son and dozens more on his own.

Their current favorite is "Halo 3," a shooter game played online by thousands of players at a time. His state-of-the-art equipment includes an Xbox 360 console, surround-sound turned up "really, really loud" and a 65-inch wide-screen television, he said.

"That game has bonded me with him," he said of his 10-year-old son Allen. "It's like a whole new reality with me and him."
 

„
 

—OMGWTFBBQ

However you may feel about using video games to distract kids from the bad touch, at least he's not asking how to juggle both feeding his child and his busy clan raid schedule.

[edit] Known predators

[edit] See also

[edit] External links


Image:Gamecontroller.gif Gamer is part of a series on Gaming.

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