Conquer Online
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Conquer Online (henceforth referred to as Conqueer Online) is one of those free Chinese MMORPG things that looks like a blatant rip off of Diablo 2 but sadly couldn't even do that properly. The game is run by TQ Digital (moar liek, TJEW Digital, amirite?), "run" meaning it is left to rot while the admins lovingly feed themselves some doughnuts, all the while the chairman Fchen counts his DragonBall money.
TQ is so fucking pathetic that they cannot stop the cheaters. Some websites you can get your cheats from: http://www.elitepvpers.de, http://www.4botters.com, http://9net9.com - ScriptVessel
Contents |
[edit] Conquer Overview
- The game is open PK; this means that you can run around killing people who aren't over your level. Of course to do this you must not be a warrior; Warriors can't kill shit in this game and anyone who chooses one as their endgame class is doomed to be mocked off the internets.
- To control the PKing, you are given PK points whenever you kill someone, 10 for killing someone not enemied to your guild or on your enemy list, 5 for killing someone that is on your enemy list, and 3 for killing an enemy guild member. If you go over 30 PK Points your name goes red and suddenly everyone is out to rape you in the ass for your equipment, as it can now drop. Going over 100 PK Points will send you to jail upon death, after which you need to wait around until you lose your PK points or bribe the Guard there with DragonBalls.
- In order to make your equipment epix itams you must upgrade it with DragonBalls. DragonBalls can be gotten from winning Guild War (which is nothing more than beating a pole), random drops (once every blue moon), or of course, from buying them from the site.
- You can mine for gems; Of course this means you'll be killed every 30 minutes by a PKer looking for lulz.
- You can get married in this game.........'nuff said............
There are 6 classes in the game: Aimbotters, Warrior, Trojan, Fire Taoist, Water Taoist and Archer. Warrior isn't really a class as it's just a big sign on your head screaming "I AM A STUPID NOOB" since it can't kill shit.
[edit] Classes
[edit] Aimbotters
The most pre-dominant class in the game. Trojans and warriors are a sub-class of aimbotters. 98% of Trojans are aimbotters. Most choose this class when they fail at life, and therefore need programs to cheat in-game to make themselves feel powerful irl.
Some of the greatest aimbotters can be found on the Dragon server namely: ament3 ~*~VietKarma~*~ ~Ëdu ^.^PaulinhA_157 ~D4nGeR~ jon8915-3
A little bit about ~D4nGeR~: He's a br and a internet tough guy that lives in Boston. Brazil is too much of a shit hole so he had to get the fuck outta there. He trolls around the forums and tries to lie about his hacks as much as he can. Of course his butt buddies believe it.
A little bit about about jon8915-3: One of the people that uses this character is an old asian man with a female character AKA YogiBear. Contact no. 1-909-821-5255
They are all basement dwellers and commonly share accounts so the lulz can be created round-the-clock.
[edit] Archers
The fastest levelers in the game. After reaching level 70 or so, you can power level lazy beginners for Virtue Points (They can be traded in for Meteors, more on this later). They can learn Scatter which hits all monsters in the area, it pisses of all other classes because they can't do it especially when you combine this with Fly... yes they can fly, too. You might think this would be a good choice, but Archers are a SUPPORT CLASS. A Trojan 10 levels lower then you can kill you. Since they can fly, however, they can be nothing more than annoying faggots since their class gets owned when a Trojan farts next to them.
[edit] Trojans
A basic fighter, they would be more interesting if they were more then Scent Sword (stupid line range attack). The game designers screwed up the jumping physics, so small female Trojans jump more quickly. If you want to be able to kill ANYTHING, you NEED to be a Trojan. Despite the fact their armor was clearly designed while the devs were drunk on gay fuel. ogok03, that can be found in server Phoenix is the strongest Archer and the most handsome man in Conquer Online. It's a shame he's also a cocksmoking fag, who absolutely loves it in the ass.
[edit] Taoists
This class branches out into water and fire. Fires Taoists are all right but they're not that interesting, seeing as they use Tornado ALL THE TIME, even though they have about a dozen of spells. They're kind of a support class, but they can defend themselves. Water Taoists are useless in a fight, they're only good for healing and reviving. If you see a Water Taoist, he/she is most likely with an Archer, like leech; Water Taoists are definitely a support class. Taos are currently the weirdest class in the game. The devs thought it would be a good idea to let Taos equip items with NO REQUIREMENTS ON THEIRS. Where other classes need to put STR or DEX, taos get away without, thus allowing them to soup up insane amounts of HP. WHERE IS THE LOGIC IN THAT?
[edit] Warriors
Weak Trojans, They have shields and...yeah. Anyone with a Warrior is a noob.
[edit] Things to do on Conqueer
- Mining: The LONGEST, MOST BORING TASK EVAR.
- Go to the Training Grounds: Since leveling takes forever, you can go there to level slowly while away from your computer.
- Level: Pretty boring, if you're lucky you'll find a Meteor. Someone will probably loot it though.
- Get Power Leveled: If you're lazy (everyone in this fucking game is), you can ask an Archer to level you. EVERYONE does this with a Water Taoist as their first class since they are lazy faggots too busy fapping off to Pokemans pr0n.
- Bot: Mostly everyone bots, especially for mining. If you get caught you can buy your way out with DragonBalls, c what teh admins did thar?
[edit] DragonBalls and Meteors
DragonBalls are needed for everything. They can be bought for real money, which is ridiculous because it's basically like buying your way through the game, which defeats the purpose of playing it. Or you can find one, which is near impossible. Meteors are more common, and 1 DragonBall = 100 Meteors for some reason.
[edit] The Economy
The Conqueer Economy is fucked up. Because items and gold keep coming and coming, inflation is everywhere. Then if that's not bad enough, people buy DragonBalls and sell them for millions of gold pieces. It's a never-ending cycle where money is practically worthless.
[edit] Admins
The admins on this game deserve special mention for being even LAZIER than whatever you can think of. Conquer admins are guaranteed to be worse (if not, worst), sitting around collecting DragonBall sale money and giving special favors to those who buy them; Such as allowing them immunity to banning, ability to bot, and other such Faggotry.
They "update" the game by adding servers EVERY WEEK, yet can't seem to get a new one for their BBS. But for some reason, they keep adding servers while older ones are empty. Each server is supposed to have it's own admin, but they never login. If an admin logs in, it's most likely to delete the stuff of someone who bought DragonBalls with a fraudulent Credit Card.
[edit] People who play Conqueer
5090% Egyptian - This is the majority of the population on Conqueer Online since about 2007. They usually say "ty men" when they get pawned or laugh like "hhhhhhhhhhhh" in the forums. In the market they usually spam "am ned sobr amur 1sok men ok or no?" and when they want to get power leveled they say "man tem 99% man, ok or no?"- 4% Asia
- 3% Caucasian
- 2% basement dwellers from other random areas
- 1% David Lucas the Samurai
All 100% fag
[edit] Teh Hack
On August 26th 2007, a random person gained access to the GM panel. People from servers were banned left and right without warning at random. Much lulz followed.
Around late July to mid August 2007 the owners of conquer implemented a quest called, ‘the mystic merchant quest’. This aloudALLOWED players to gain free experience to level faster. A user of the ‘elite pvp’ forums managed to hack the game which aloudALLOWED them to gain unlimited experience- The months it took to reach the max level of 130 was achieved in merely 20 minutes. This caused a huge banning across all servers, as the retard owners of conquer are too stupid to secure their game. You could not expect them to ban the right accounts so this lead to many innocent players, people who did not buy dragon balls with real cash, have years of their life playing 24/7 wasted as their account became permanently banned.
[edit] The Community
As every other online game, this money vacuum has something people might refer to as a 'community', although the people in this 'community' rarely say anything helpful and don't even have half a braincell.
[edit] The Forum
This is the favorite place the Conqueer crackheads troll at, they have unique replies like 'lol owned' and of course have nothing else to do than make fun of the newbies. Thinking that they are superior to others by posting pointless crap make them feel good in the sad little life they have in their basement. While entering this forum you have a great amount of places to go to:
[edit] Announcement
Here is where the made-up Conqueer 'GameMasters' post 'updates'; you will rarely see those because the GM's are busy playing World of Warcraft and enlarging their amount of gold sellers to make even more money out of game crackheads. If you ever see an update that actually does something good, then you are dreaming.
[edit] FAQ (TroubleShooting)
Nobody actually gives a damn about this part of the forum. Why help retards that don't even understand the difference between their left and right hand?
[edit] Bugs
This place has everything TQ needs to do to make their money machine an even bigger money machine, but because they are too lazy and busy playing other games all this goes to waste and people will continue purchasing highly overpriced pixels to get some damn 'customer service' in this game, which is highly unlikely unless you spend around $500 per month.
[edit] Community Forum
Ah yes, the biggest collection of idiots and turds come together here to give each other a nice amount of buttsex while flaming each other. There are a few simple rules you might want to follow or else you will get flamed:
- Certain people are gods, they usually have a high postcount and they have to be admired and cocksucked, if you do not do this they will flame you with about 5 words and say something like 'get a life', 'haha owned' or the 'you fail' reply. Also, these people with 10000+ posts like to point out OTHER people take the Forums all too seriously.
- Do not talk positive about BRs, VNs, Egyptians or Romanians. You shall be slaughtered for saying so by the hungry crowd of cocksuckers this game has.
- Do make fun of the dead, do not defend them, because of course doing your most favorite thing in the world makes you a shitstain. Knowing that these people will probably die while masturbating on anime p0rn, people dying while doing what they love makes them fucktards.
- And a lot more, but just by acting like you don't care and are better then others, these mindless zombies will take you into their cult of racism and buttsex/cocksucking.
[edit] Chitchat-Matchup
Here you can see all the listed servers and their sad amount of players. You will find a lot of dramas on servers and a lot of whining and cocksucking, rarely you see a thread without flaming or bitching and of course these people have nothing better to do then prove that they are indeed better then you in an online game.
Favorite subjects are:
- Another sad lifeless noob reached level 130 (If it were by Training Grounds or not)
- xxx is a fagged because <Enter reason>.
- Oh my god you are hot have buttsex.
- I am quitting this game, for 2 days but don't tell, please tell me you care about me because I have no friends.
- More useless spam with teenagers trying to cyber each other on MSN.
[edit] Newcomer's Harbor
My, what a Harbor it is. It is your run-of-the-mill noob gathering- lots of crying and normal questions.
[edit] Tips and Hints
Why go here if you can just download hacks and bots? No reason to look here for tips because the latter two will get you a lot further then this.
[edit] Suggestions
Don't even bother posting a suggestion, the GMfags won't read them and if they ever do it will be placed in another game.
[edit] Off Topic
Another well respected place for no-life turdlovers, this place does it's name justice, there is absolutely no one with half a braincell in this place. The biggest amount of crap is posted here and will make you cry if you think about the fact that real people posted this crap. Between the sick amount of garbage you find here, you can sometimes find something that might be interesting, but that is as rare as a DragonBall drop.
[edit] Things to remember
- Mods abuse their powers because they can, certain mods think they are gods and have a big mouth you'd like to staple shut.
- Again, do not respect anyone for their opinion, go with the flow and flame everyone shitless because your postcount determines the amount of coolness you have.
- Lots of kiddies roam around like in every other game, but this place has the biggest amount of camwhores ever seen in existence; do not look into 'post picture' threads if you do not like Asian girls (between the age of 10-20, exceptions are there) who try to get people to say they are cute and hot and later try to manipulate them into giving them loot.
[edit] WILL THIS EVER END?
A private server project is in beta. Qonquer, the programmer behind this glorious idea is removing all that DragonBall purchasing bullshit, the terrible physics, the terrible quests, and the terrible admins. It's online, but the server gets wiped every so often for testing.
| Conquer Online is part of a series on MMORPGs | Information
MMORPGs City of Heroes | Conquer Online | DAoC | Everquest | Final Fantasy XI | FlyFF | Guild Wars | Lineage 2 | Maple Story | Pangya | Ragnarok Online | RuneScape | Silkroad Online | Wikipedia | World of Warcraft Semi-MMORPGs Endless Online | Graal | Kingdom of Loathing | Progress Quest | Tibia |
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