Cougar
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A Cougar is a jew term attempting to glorify an old skank who sexually pursues younger men. Instead of knitting itchy-scratchy sweaters for her grandchildren, the cougar contrives to get a young male stud to stick his penis into her dried-up pussy. Real cougars (meowing type) are shame-faced that their name is attached to these denizens of nursing homes.
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Typical Ruses Cougars Use to Trap a Guy
The old, "I've fallen and can't get up" trick. Stud muffin arrives in an ambulance with an oxygen pack.
Cougars can be overt, even on national television, as in the case of Meredith Viera, a horny game show host, who goes from merely flirting to being openly wanton.
Show the purse trick. Cougar opens up a giant purse and shows stud muffin a wad of cash amongst the lipstick and extra Depends adult diapers and tampons.
"Come here my little pretty". Cougar uses index finger in a come-hither manner.
Some argue that Cougar's will use beer in a way that could be misconstrued as deceptive and manipulative. More research is needed.
How To Spot A Cougar
Besides the obvious signs, like adult diapers, liver spots, and tits that sag down to her knees, there are a few other tell-tale signs that can help you to spot a cougar. Despite their advanced age, the cougar frequently gives itself away by dressing like a 16 year old girl. They also have the tendency to try to seem "young and hip" by pretending to like the same music as their victims, such as rap, death metal, j-rock, emo, etc. Modern slang is another device the cougar uses to try to disguise it's true age. Chances are, if it says "hella tight", but smells like "Preparation H", you've got yourself a cougar.
 A famous cougar. |
 Dewey Beach, Delaware - Cougar City |
 GO COUGARS! |
 Not a cougar, but close. |
 Cougars in full battle paint mode. |
 Quicker than a cougar, a snow leopard. |
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